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The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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Life

The ‘Truth’ Lives

November 4, 2017 by Jack Steiner 2 Comments

Memories of posts once written.

I had a dream. I dreamt of a place that I had never been to but always wanted to live in. You were there and your arms welcomed me to a place that until then had always lived inside me. You unlocked the passion and the fire that burns inside me.

You helped me to remember that love is meant to sting, that to be apart is to feel an ache that no drug can touch and to be together is to know the meaning of union.

You are my drug of choice, an addiction that I cannot give up. My air and my blood, the wind that fills my sails and were I to lose you I would be forced to revisit that dark place that I used to live in. I would be hollow inside, an empty shell and who knows what might choose to occupy that place.

I knew the day that we kissed that life was going to be different. Few people understand because so few have had the experience and even then few walk that path. When you walk through fire you risk being burned but you also open yourself up to untold rewards.

When just holding hands brings incredible pleasure, when whispers and caresses offer the height of joy and passion there is something special.

When I kissed you I felt your legs go weak and I held you tightly but I was not concerned because my arms were made for holding you tight and feeling your heart beat against mine gives me all the strength that I require.

I had a dream that became reality.

Filed Under: Life

A Different World Series Experience

October 27, 2017 by Jack Steiner 4 Comments

It is the bottom of the 6th inning of the Dodgers-Astros World Series and the family is gathered around the television.

That is an experience that mirrors the one I grew up with as a Dodgers fan in the ’70s and ’80s which is to say how we watched the Dodgers in the series.

But that is where many of the similarities end because by the time I was the same age as my oldest child is I had seen the boys win one series championship and play in four.

And by the time I was 19 it had turned to 2 series championships out of five visits so I never expected to have to wait 29 years before I got a chance to see them in the series again.

A Different World Series Experience

If my grandfathers were here we’d swap stories, memories and thoughts about this series.

We’d laugh about how the Cubs finally won another title and I know they’d talk about how they can’t believe how old they are because they would both be over a 100.

I am sure they would point out how strange it is to see us watch while occasionally checking our phones, updating statuses or responding to texts from friends/family about the game.

And I am certain they’d include a comment about their favorite grandson live blogging the moment.

****

Since they aren’t here all I can do is make educated guesses about their comments and say it is as hard and as fun to watch my boys in blue play.

The series is tied but they easily could have been up 2-0.

The reasons why they aren’t are as cut-and-dried as saying they were outplayed but include the screwy and questionable plays that make sports amazing.

You know the kind that make fans of the winning team declare those destiny and the fans of the losers call cheating.

Memories

As the game progresses I make a point to look at the faces of my children and to enjoy their expressions.

Teens are jaded and some of the looks that cross their faces are harder to come by than they once were.

Sometimes I catch them looking at me and they laugh because they say I am way too serious and there may be some truth in that.

Twenty-nine years is a long time to wait and I didn’t realize how much I missed this until it started.

It turned the pilot light that never stopped burning into something big and bright.

So as we head into the top of the 8th I have to stop writing and focus solely upon my boys.

The baseball lords of superstition must be followed and I must go through the remaining rituals just in case they will help.

Filed Under: Children, Life

Thaw Today, Thaw Tomorrow

September 4, 2017 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Found some old fiction and took a moment to read and review.

I Loved Her Once

It made me feel some things and I found myself muttering, Thaw Today, Thaw Tomorrow or don’t.

Can’t say what will or won’t be and don’t intend to spend a lot of time trying because that is best left to the old gypsy woman at 43rd and 3rd.

Life is too short to spend too much time wondering and waiting so I do as I will and I must trusting that I’ll know what needs to happen when it does.

And if I don’t, well maybe that is just how it has to be.

They say what is for you won’t go past you and that is the sort of mystical and magical sentiment I can accept.

It works for me because it doesn’t ask me to engage in blood sacrifices and or crazy rituals.

You just have to live your life and that is enough.

Filed Under: Life

Sometimes People Disappoint You

August 24, 2017 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

I think I have read every Robert Heinlein book or at least all that were published.

Can’t say for certain because it has been a long while since I read the last but there was a time when Heinlein and Ray Bradbury were my go to authors.

Heinlein has a quote that has been shared a few times that fits the present.

“You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.”

But what really strikes me more than anything about now is how you never get too old to outgrow being disappointed by people.

Sometimes People Disappoint You

If you look at large groups you are guaranteed to run into a situation or circumstance in which you are disappointed by how some people behave.

That is just how life goes and I am fine with that.

My issue comes with the gut punch from being disappointed by people you care about who supposedly care or used to care about you.

There is no joy or solace in the disappointment that is associated with that.

But it is a part of life too and sometimes you are going to be forced to deal with it.

Filed Under: Life

What You Think You Know

August 14, 2017 by Jack Steiner 1 Comment

Every now and then I remind myself that what you think you know isn’t always true or accurate.

The world is neither black nor white and the shades of gray exist everywhere.

But those shades of gray do not automatically take precedence over right and wrong because there are lines that are exactly the color they appear.

Still only a fool lives their life as being just one way and one thing.

Life was good.

“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
― Albert Einstein

Filed Under: Life

Blogging The Mystery

August 4, 2017 by Jack Steiner 2 Comments

I don’t know if they’ll bury me in a box, shroud or burn me. Given my

Given my druthers there will be no burning and if they should do that, well you better dump my ashes somewhere because if you don’t I will find a way back.

It is like the old saying, if you try to kill me you better get it done because if you don’t I am going to come after you and hell is coming with me.

It has been far too long since I updated here but when you have five blogs it is hard to keep them all going and I have fallen short here.

Been pretty good at one of the others, that gets new content 5-6 times a week.

Anyhoo, I am here now and we’ll do our best to hold your attention for a few.

Blogging The Mystery

Chuck and I haven’t ever spoken but I think he’d appreciate what I am doing now because fear and I have become intimate companions.

You don’t need to know all of the details or hear precisely how and why to appreciate my saying I am wrestling with some stuff now.

They are the demons and monsters that we call uncertainty and his/her/its friends.

The beasts that come out when you know you have done your damnedest to make some things happen and aren’t sure if it will measure up in the way you want/hope it to.

So I am here, blogging the mystery and telling you and reminding me that I have busted my butt to do it right.

I have done all I am capable of doing to make certain things go a certain way and now I have to hope it is enough.

And that is really hard for me and really sort of scary.

It might not be.

This might not work and I hate that.

But then again, it might.

It might be better than I expect and the anticipation might be the worst part.

I won’t know until I know and that is what troubles me.

It is like taking a test and waiting for your grades. You think you did ok but you aren’t sure and can’t know until the paper is handed back to you.

Guess I better sign off and get cracking again because I intend to win that damn prize.

See you in the comments.

Filed Under: Life

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