If you are among the 17 long time readers you know that periodically I will engage with the knuckleheads that send me emails promising me untold riches for helping them try to defraud others. Today I received another one of those emails and decided to see what would happen if I responded to his inquiry.Â Here is a copy of his email and my response:
Please kindly accept my apology for sending you this email without your consent. I believe you are a highly respected personality, considering the fact that I sourced your email from the peoples search database on the web during my discrete search for a foreign partner whom can assist me in taking this business to it success.
Though, I do not know to what extent you are familiar with events. I have a proposal for you.This however is not mandatory nor will I in any manner compel you to honor against your will,but I hope you will read on and consider the value I offer. My name is Mr.Richard Tang Yat Sun, I work with the Hang Seng Bank Hong Kong.I have a business proposal in the tune of US$24.5m to be transferred to an offshore account with your assistance if willing.
After the successful transfer, we shall share in ratio of 50% for you and 50% for me. Should you be interested, please respond to my letter immediately,so we can commence all arrangements and I will give you more information on the project and how we would handle it. You can contact me on my private email:( email@example.com) and send me the following information for documentation purpose:
(2)private phone number:
(3)current residential address:
(5)Age and Sex:
I look forward to hearing from you.
Mr. Richard Tang.
Dear Mr. Tang,
I am ever so glad to hear from you. I was recently speaking with my associate the ever graceful Sunny Delight about the need to not only ingest more Vitamin C but to find a business partner. Not just any partner but someone of quality, security, and integrity like yourself.
Sunny D. told me that she agreed that such a person would be like an astronaut from outer space yet clearly from inner space such as that occupied by the small room we are typing this from.
Per your request I am prepared to send you information of both needs and necessity
(1)Full name: James Tiberius Kirk Jack Edgar Hoover III
(2)private phone number: (202) 324-3000
(3)current residential address: 935 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest Washington D.C., DC 20535-0001
(4)Occupation: Director of Outreach
(5)Age and Sex: Iâ€™m 41 and have sex as frequently as possible
Prior to engaging in carnival endeavors with you I need to tell you that in my culture it is customary to begin business by an exchange of pictures. What I need from you is a picture of you holding a fish over your head.
We believe that life comes from water and since fish live in the water this will provide us luck, fortune and dinner. As soon as I receive that from you I will know that we can proceed.
James Tiberius Kirk Jack Edgar Hoover III
I’ll keep you posted as to whether he responds to my note. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. Incidentally the telephone number and address above belong to the FBI.