The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

A Conversation With The Shmata Queen

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Oh Shmata Queen, the stories you and I could tell and still do.

Been thinking about the decades and what goes into it all and what doesn’t. Had more than a few people ask for clarification and more than once refused to say much of anything.

Cue music:

What Life Will We Lead

Multiple conversations with teenagers about their futures and their dreams remind me a bit about those we used to have.

Also gets me thinking about when we refocus on ourselves and what comes next. The kids still require our guidance and help, but not like they used to.

Not even close.

That is ok. If we did a good job we have made them pretty damn self-sufficient and they don’t need us like they used to.

It is bittersweet isn’t it, this sense of wanting to be needed but not wanting it. This feeling that we have to keep pushing and yet don’t want to.

And then this question about what do with ourselves and the additional time we can see coming is hard and yet exciting in its own way, now isn’t it.

Maybe You’ll Read The Other Letters

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Maybe you’ll read the other letters and we’ll have a real conversation about what is in them.

Maybe it will be one of those naked honesty conversations we used to have with regularity and we’ll get deep into the muck.

Maybe we’ll find what was lost and maybe we’ll lose what has been discovered.

Lots of maybes and lots of reasons why exploring some paths again would be different now than in that time that way.

Maybe we’re so very different it has caused a fracture that cannot be repaired or maybe fear of what could go right is stronger than the fear of what could go wrong.

Lots of maybes with no way to answer without walking through the door and diving into the pool.

A Long Awaited Update

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You might wonder if I have been involved in a long journey through Iceland with the Shmata Queen to see the Northern Lights and the answer is not this time, though it may happen.

I have done some preliminary research albeit not much and our dear lady hasn’t discussed any of that with me or read the prior post yet.

Hell, I am surprised at how much I have accomplished this year and how much may yet come to be.

Got three new cars which is something I have never done before nor attempted for multiple reasons not just financial but because of need too.

Yet in the aftermath to the crazy that was 2020 there came an unexpected and unplanned need for three vehicles and I figured out how to pull that off without losing my shirt.

I feel good about it and grateful because time was this would have seemed impossible so if there is a lesson here it is to never give up, never surrender.

Yeah, I pulled the prior line from a movie but make no apologies because it works.


On That Road To Somewhere

So I am on the road to somewhere which is something all of us can always say but in this case it feels particularly different.

Maybe it is because even though I haven’t roped the moon I have hooked my car to a comet and I am holding on for dear life because I am going to ride this through whatever comes.

I am almost ready to say I have definitely got this but just superstitious enough to know that could jinx it so instead I’ll say I feel pretty good about it.

Can’t spend too much time thinking because most of this is based upon minute adjustments and moved based upon instinct not heavy analysis.

Don’t want to look down and see how close I am to the edge or how near the finish. Just going to keep going until I reach a level plane again and see what life looks like then.

Getting Bolder

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They asked me if I have ever called the Shmata Queen a broad or a skirt and I asked them to answer their own question.

They came back at me in multiple places and I provided multiple answers because I could. It was that simple and that complicated.

“But Jack, I don’t understand. Tell me more about you two.”

Good old Datingmaster Jerusalem, haven’t a clue where he went but if I said this post was about him he would get very excited.

It is not, he isn’t referenced there and probably hasn’t been in years, though I could be wrong about that.

Blog issues prevent me from checking easily because the comments on older posts don’t seem to want to load. Not sure why they are hidden because if I try to edit the posts I can see them.

Sometimes it bothers me because some of the best content came from or was in the comments section.

Apparently, it doesn’t bother me enough to spend time researching a fix, but who knows what the future holds.

Anything can happen somewhere down the road because even though I can smile without you I just want to spend that weekend in New England.

Ten points for anyone who catches one reference there and 25 if you aren’t confused by the mix of artists and songs.

And here we go, more music.

Swallow The Seed

One day I’ll tell you the story about drinking pulp-filled orange juice at a work function and what happened when someone said be careful not to swallow the seed.

Hell if that didn’t come this close to turning into an HR moment for multiple people, including myself and I wasn’t the one who said it.

Someone said I was getting bolder with my commentary in reference to some comments I made to the boss and it was construed by another as having been a reference to the whole swallow the seed mishegoss.

As a side note, I like orange juice but I generally don’t like a lot of pulp in it, but I digress.

Most of the time I am relatively fast on my feet and adept at talking my way through situations but this one was harder than most.

Why?

Because the people involved were certain about what they thought had been said and uninterested in being told there had been a misunderstanding.

Cue more music.

A Few More Words

Got so much more to say but listening to Bruce sing is taking me to other places and I have to stop typing long enough to enjoy the ride.

But not before admitting some of this stuff touches those places and spaces where the skin isn’t thick and maybe never was nor will be.

Regret, hope and a dash of optimism that fights the what ifs of the time are sitting on my shoulders, asking that I take a hard look at certain situations and acknowledge the truth of what is and the possibility of what isn’t.

Not such a bad thing, is it.

Written In The Stars

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There are things going on now that have me shaking my head in both amazement and the occasional moment of disgust.

Can’t decide if I should try to explain or just use the song to illustrate it all, contradictions all around.

I had a dream last night,
The world was set on fire.
And everywhere I ran,
There wasn’t any water…
The temperature increased,
The sky was crimson red,
The clouds turned into smoke,
And everyone was dead.
But there’s a smile on my face,
For everyone…

That Lonely Place

Sometimes the life bus drops you off at that lonely place without any regard for your wishes or desires and then you have to figure out what to do with it.

You can drop your bags and unpack knowing you might be there for a while or you can take other steps and work on a plan for getting out of there.

There rarely if ever is a reason for an extended stay there but it doesn’t mean that you can choose the time and date you enter or leave.

If life were that simple it would be a very different world but it is not and smart people distinguish between the world we live in and the one we wish we did.

Doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t work for better, just that you keep one foot planted on Earth so that you can take care of reality while working towards the other.

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

I could tell you a story about the Shmata Queen and how I told her she would have to say ‘please’ but that is kind of risque and we’re short on time.

So I’ll share the second Oingo-Boingo video of this post and tell you the lyrics absolutely prove the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I always liked Boingo but I wasn’t as big a fan as some friends who went to thirty or forty of their concerts as opposed to the handful I hit.

Might have been two or three, heck it could be one.

Been about 24 or 25 years I think since the last show I saw at the Universal Amphitheater. It was one of the Halloween shows and it was phenomenal.

They didn’t need auto-tune or any studio effects and the crowd was filled with diehard fans who never stopped dancing and singing along.

I don’t recall if the venue held 12,000 or 30,000 people, just that I felt like I knew most of them or knew someone that knew them.

Was kind of cool, made it feel like a more intimate show.

An Extended Walk About

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Been on an extended walkabout thinking about many things such as posts like this one and one from a different blog.

One of those was applauded by a former sub commander, never know who you’ll run into within the wild and woolly blogosphere.

Been a strange time and I have had to fight my way through a few moments. Been thinking about whether those were smart moves or foolish and haven’t decided.

Might have to converse with SQ about it when she wakes up from her long slumber.

In the interim I am thinking about many things.

Sometimes that is what you have got to do to get to the other side. Courage friends, it takes courage.