The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

That Time When Almost Everyone Got Covid

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One day the story of that time when almost everyone got Covid will be told and when it does we’ll be sure to laugh heartily at how ridiculous it all was…but not today.

We’ll tell you about how the family flew in to celebrate my daughter’s high school celebration and how wearing masks and being fully vaccinated didn’t work as well as we hoped it would.

Given the current climate I’ll stress I am a believer in science and medicine and a proponent of getting vaccinated. Some failures are going to happen upon occasion and I would still argue in favor of smart preventative measures.

Anyhoo, a couple of days after the graduation my daughter’s mom came down with Covid. She was fully vaccinated, including the boosters and wearing a mask…go figure.

A day after that I came down with a fever and a scratchy throat so per instruction from my doc I went to urgent care and they checked me out for Covid and strep throat.

I tested negative for both. Hell, I tested negative for Covid a couple of times afterward so it seems I never had it or maybe I am just one of those people it didn’t register with.

Took me about 18 hours to shake whatever I had which is pretty standard for what happens when I get one of my twice-a-year colds.

But the real concern were the multiple senior citizens who flew out, some of whom are immunocompromised as well as in the aforementioned demographic.

As of today only one of the four got sick and it indeed was Covid but it appears decent genes and some meds have mostly taken care of the illness.

Still it made for some dicey moments and extended several trips beyond where they were supposed to be.


What To Do & How To Do What

Given all of the fun I have been in insolation for a while now more out of an abundance of caution than anything else.

It created more than a little stress because I never felt particularly ill and there was always concern about how to best help the visitors, especially my mother who didn’t rent a car and was sort of stuck at the hotel.

Fortunately, the grandkids are at an age where they can drive and given they all tested negative were able to spend time with grandma.

Although that helped give me peace of mind there was still a nagging question about what to do and how to best do it.

Wasn’t going to panic but also wanted to be prudent.

Given ages, history and life experience I know that life can turn on a dime and that any time I see them it could be the last time.

When it came to my mom I looked at genetics a bit, had a couple of conversations and talked it out with her.

She is still almost 20 years younger than her both her parents were when they died. Overall she has a pretty good bill of health and her doc didn’t have issue with her traveling on the graduation circuit.

That added some comfort, especially given her attitude. She doesn’t want to miss out on these opportunities because even with good health/genes her age makes it clear there is a clock.

So some of this is/was a calculated risk.

I didn’t hug her goodbye and I was a good 15 feet away when I said “I’ll try to see you later this summer.”

If you ask me my gut feeling on it all I will tell you I feel good about it and that I expect to see her again. She felt fine when she left and fine when she landed so I am going with that.

Won’t say that I haven’t kept my fingers crossed and hoped not to be proven wrong about anything.

Won’t say that it hasn’t been extra stressful for reasons both obvious and less so either.

But I am looking forward to the day when this is just one more funny story.

Especially given the last three weeks included plumbing issues, a car accident and an assortment of other irritants in addition to this last set of nonsense.

Kids asked me why so much has to happen at one time and I told them it is because life doesn’t care.

“You get what you get however you get it and then you just roll with it. Manage it as best you can and try not to let it make you crazy.”

I think it is pretty good advice, I ought to tell it to myself again because there are days…

The History Of A Girl’s Life

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Today was the last day of school for a high school senior who calls me father. Ok, that is not the term she uses for me but it is accurate because I am her father.

I started blogging while she was what some would call In Utero and given it won’t be long before her 18th birthday rolls around it occurs to me I really have been doing this for a while.

In many ways this blog in all its aspects (blogger and self-hosted) is the history of a girl’s life. It is not what you would call chapter and verse but it is not supposed to be.

Many of the best and or most interesting stories have been left out because she deserves to build her own digital footprint and because I don’t have ownership of it all anymore.

There are multiple boundaries that I try to be cognizant of because in the world she is growing up in it is not uncommon for people to search for information about others. Some of her friends have found bits and pieces of things and we have had discussions about that.

It is strange sometimes to realize how much of a life she has that I am barely aware of. Makes sense because it was the same when I was her age, but still surreal in a way.


Conversations

The time of her living at home on a full time basis is coming to an end and so I find myself trying to engage in more conversations about multiple topics.

We talked often before this time arrived, but something about it has pushed me to try to cram more in.

Pushed me to reiterate lessons I hope she has learned and information that may not have sunk in because she was younger when she first got it.

I recognize in many ways she is who she is and that if her character isn’t of a certain nature already it is too late.

The good news is I am pleased and proud with and of who she is but it doesn’t mean there is no interest in a gentle push here and there

I shared the Ben Franklin quote above with her and she asked what point I was trying to make.

“Lots of people will try to motivate you to do different things with quotes from famous people. Lots of them won’t ever have given any thought to what the quote means or what context it was originally given in.

Never stop thinking and don’t let people tell you that rights that have been held by all Americans for decades ought to be adjusted just because a minority dislikes them. What we give away cannot aways be taken back with any sort of ease on both large and small scale.”

****

She sat with it for a while and then I told her she could take it solely on a political level or she could see an application on a personal level too.

There might be better quotes and or better ways to drive home the points I want her to take but there isn’t time to get too deep into searching for them and that is ok.

It is surreal to think she is almost on her way out of here, the baby isn’t a baby anymore.

Yesterday she was in preschool and I was so much younger myself. Today we are both far older and tomorrow, well we’ll leave tomorrow where it is as it will come soon enough.

How To Define A Dying Blog

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“Jack, is your blog dying, or is it dead?”

I asked the writer of the email how to define a dying blog but I didn’t get a response to the question I asked.

Heck, I didn’t get a response or any indication they received it, not even a remark about how annoying it can be to answer a question with another question.

We could build a 1000-word post on this without much effort and could probably go deeper but there is no interest on my part.

I am on vacation and if the subject doesn’t move me I don’t intend to move. Nonetheless in this circumstance, I am prepared to share a few thoughts.

A blog doesn’t have to have to comments to be considered a living blog, just new posts or comments that advance/continue the discussion on old posts.

You don’t need a specific editorial calendar or schedule of new posts either. You just need to update it periodically and voila, the blog is a living thing.

The mighty JackB isn’t dead though you could argue it has periods of semi-hibernation compared to what it used to be.

If you keep visiting you’ll keep seeing new posts and various changes that could include a resumption of a daily or weekly update.

Remarks of my death, the JackB are greatly exaggerated.

Five Minutes Of Writing

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Got five minutes to tell you about how I started this blog as a self-hosted venture that was designed to take my Blogger blog into a more professional setting.

Had no idea what it would become or where it would go but the Shmata Queen told me she thought I was a fine writer and that I was making a mistake by not working with my gift.

Wasn’t certain I agreed with her about having a gift because I never thought much about my writing compared to others.

Figured I wasn’t as good as some and better than others. Based upon some nonscientific gut feelings and some awards I won for pieces I wrote elsewhere.

Never worked hard on trying to take this to the cliche people call Next Level because if I had I would have done things differently than I did.

Would have spent more time trying to produce the kind of content that resonated with many instead of a few.

It would have built a bigger readership and led to more opportunities

Did ok for myself overall and well, here I am 18 years later still writing, but not like I used to. Too many things going on in too many places so this one doesn’t get the coverage it used to.

Can’t say it will stay like this or not, life has shown me things change and not on our schedule.

Who Can It Be Now?

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Who could that be at this hour?

I jumped when the phone rang and managed to knock the cork board off of the wall. I am not a fan of late-night or early-morning telephone calls because they rarely offer good news.

“I am in trouble and I need your help. They’re back.”

It took a moment for me to realize I wasn’t dreaming and a moment longer to grunt in reply.

There was an awkward silence followed by a plea for my help and reminders of promises I made. I said I would do what I could and hung up the phone.

Lay down in the dark and stared at the ceiling and made a mental note about what supplies to pick up and where to get them. I figured I had about two days to get it together before they found me.

Public transportation was out. There wouldn’t be any planes or trains on this trip and I probably wasn’t going to be able to get any help from any of the old crew.

We had all gone our separate ways years before and intentionally not shared the details of where we were going. We did it for safety reasons. No one was invisible but we figured if things went to hell it might give the others time to prepare.

I didn’t have time to worry about the others. If I found a way I would send word to them and if not, well they were all capable people.

Right now I had two days worth of work and a three-day drive to prepare for.

The clock on the desk read 2:49 AM.

Might as well close my eyes again and try to get another two hours of sleep because once I start moving sleep is going to be scarce.

Closed my eyes and tried to sleep and then the other memories hit me like a torrent of water and I remember why I had to walk away from her…and them.

****

My mind said it took morning twice as long to arrive as normal but the alarm I set the night before made it clear the laws of physics hadn’t been broken.

The day was still 24 hours long and the drive would take just as long as it always had but this time it would be harder.

Not just because of age, time or any of the feelings I was trying to set aside but because the world was more connected than ever.

The digital revolution and prevalence of smartphones and a hundred social media platforms would make it easier than ever to be found.

He thought about ignoring the call and promises once made but didn’t waste time thinking about how to do it because he was never going to be able to do so.

Some bonds never release you from their grip no matter how hard you try or what tools you use to free you from their fetters.

In a moment it would be time to walk away from the one and run towards the other.

The Greatest Dad Blogger You Never Read

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A colleague started a blog last month but I didn’t read any of their posts nor comment on what they were doing.

My time is more limited than it has been and my interest level was low. Blame that upon their poor email writing skills.

They lack structure, contain grammatical errors and serve as a tool for curing insomnia so I had limited reason to believe a blog would be an improvement.

Fate smiles upon the judgmental so I was paired with them for an assignment and they asked me if they remembered hearing that I had worked in marketing.

“Yes, I have some experience there.”

“I recently started writing one of those blogs people do.  I want to use it to make money. I am going to make some Tik-Tok videos and do some other stuff that I’ll place there. But I need to get people to read it. Could you look at it and tell me what you think. I need to know how to promote it.”

I told him to remember some people are internet famous and that doesn’t translate into income.

“Hell you could be talking to the greatest dad blogger you never read.”

“What is a dad blogger?”

I reframed and refocused the conversation about the task that pays the bills and let the opportunity to market myself go.


Anonymity

I am semi-anonymous online and that is mostly by choice. Some of you know my name and some have broken bread in-person multiple times.

Most of that is by choice, but there are a few who found out through other means and though there are good stories tied into that we’ll set them aside for the moment.

There are more than 10,000 posts in this blog on a wide variety of topics and a limited upside to being read for professional colleagues.

Should they be found I am confident and comfortable with having a discussion about them but my preference is to not engage.

We’re living in a time in which people are less tolerant and more sensitive on a wide variety of topics and I am sometimes a blunt instrument in my approach.

Why engage and risk irritation if I don’t have to.

That is tied into why this blog doesn’t have pictures of my family or the names of my children. They are entitled to living their own lives and creating their own digital footprints.

It would have been more profitable for me to take a different approach.

Had I used their names and pictures I could have gotten more brand ambassadorships, more sponsorships and more opportunities to become a bigger brand.

That is not how I roll and I know too many stories about other bloggers whose children are irritated about the stories.

It is also why I slowed down on some of the stories as they aged.

My oldest was 3 when I started this and they’ll be 22 this year. If people search for them online they will not find stories they can identify as belonging to him and I am good with that.

My baby will be going to college in the fall. She has no reason to worry about admissions officers turning her down or commenting on anything written about her.

She hasn’t done anything that would serve as grounds for not being accepted but you never know what or how people will interpret things.

Bottom line is my job isn’t to just teach them how to grow up and be good people, it is to protect them however I can…forever.

Most of that has gone through the natural evolution that comes with their not being little children anymore.

They don’t live a life in which they are enveloped in bubble wrap or prevented from taking risk.

Sometimes that is hard because I have seen them make choices I think are questionable, but I let it go because that is how you learn.

They have done a stellar job overall. But you never stop worrying completely and that is ok, it comes with the job description.