What A Fool Believes

The Shmata Queen told me a short while back about all of the things in our lives that had changed and how it would make certain dreams impossible.

I didn’t respond or argue with it but my best guess is she knows damn well I didn’t accept it.

She might say it is because it’s news/information I don’t like or want to hear but I would debate that point.

I don’t like it but the reason I don’t accept it is because of all that I have seen and experienced which suggests to me that sometimes we don’t know as much about life and what might happen as we think.

Hell, there is no good reason for us to have met and yet we did.

Not only did we meet but we somehow found our way down the spiral path and through the inside out in ways that make it impossible for me to say things are impossible.

Sometimes you look at a woman and say I know you love me and she responds with something that sounds like “what a fool believes.”

I Make No More Predictions Upon This Page…Today

What comes down the road or doesn’t come isn’t defined by today or tomorrow or fate. It is a combination of all of these elements and something else.

Weird science it is, and now we walk the path not because we are curious to see what comes of particular and specific relationships but because it is what is required for all of life.

Can’t stay still and can’t stay hidden.

Got to keep walking and see what unfolds as we go.

It ought to be interesting.

She Is Out There

The questions float into the inbox with the quiet ease of a calm forest stream.

Most of them are focused upon why I ought to be interested in paying for a product or service that will help traffic to this joint explode but the occasional one touches upon other topics.

“Jack, what happened to your girl? What happened to the one you used to write about? Did you find each other and if so, what was the outcome?”

Sometimes I stare at the page and think about composing a post providing the full story or wonder if I ought to just put some words down in an email and let it go at that.

Should I provide facts and details or just a couple of lines outlining the tale in a way that sort of answers the question.

It is kind of funny to me because she who you refer to is a woman who wants details. She needs specifics and it drives her crazy to give half an answer.

I am good at driving her crazy, always have been.

That doesn’t tell you what our status is or isn’t now does it. But you don’t really need to know one way or another.

She Is Out There

She is out there and so am I.

Our lives intersect and connect in multiple places but as to the depth and frequency well that is is something to discuss elsewhere.

Full Moon Madness

Every day I take a moment or two to consider whether I am going to update things here and wonder how I went from posting sixty or seventy times a month to the current snail’s pace.

If there were no boundaries in blogging I could address it all in a couple of paragraphs but there are boundaries and so I cannot give you a complete tale.

All I can say is I am always cognizant of the changes here and elsewhere. It feels like a full moon madness that exists whether the moon is given it is full glory in the night sky or but a quarter.

Maybe He Is Right

Old Walt Whitman might be spot on here.

We are all on individual paths and where they lead or do not might be destiny or coincidence.

Hell, it might be a combination of the two.

There is a girl who I would like to sit down and discuss this and a bunch of other things with.

If my druthers and requests were filled it would be on a beach somewhere with no distractions other than the sea.

But for the moment that is an impossibility and one wonders if that moment should be defined and described as minutes or eternity.

This the place where confusion reigns and it is hard to determine if that will continue to be the default answer or if perhaps the clouds will part long enough for rays of sunlight to provide the clarity only they are capable of displaying.

I am tired and worn out by it all, though it is also fair to say I am capable of mustering enough energy to change it all.

But that is probably contingent upon whether there is a real impetus to do so beyond personal desire.

Not that desire doesn’t provide significant motivation because it does. However, it is not enough on its own.

That is what happens when more than one is involved, you can’t walk into a secret world and celebrate by yourself.

It just doesn’t work.

Partnership is required, someone to take your hand and walk with you through the full moon madness.

A Different Way Of Doing Things

The man in the mirror looks familiar but he isn’t quite who I expect to see staring back at me.

Can’t say whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, it is just a thing. He is doing things differently than he once did and we are not sure how that is going to turn out.

Might be fine, might be somewhere between great and terrible, can’t say until more time has passed.

He is impatient that man in the mirror and he really doesn’t want to take on a different way of doing things but sometimes that is how it goes.

A Momentary Silence

Things moved from silence to conversation back to silence.

I was disappointed but not surprised at this turn of events.

Some things have bumps in the road and moments where what seemed like a straight line turn out to have curves.

That is not a good or bad thing, it is just part of life and the trick is to just let it roll and unfold as it will.

If instinct and intuition are on the mark all will be fine and if they aren’t, well all will still be fine.

There was a moment where that look seemed to offer an invitation to revisit the taste and feel of lips upon lips, but I refused to go there.

Not because I didn’t want to but because I wasn’t going to be told I had created an issue. Blurry lines didn’t need any help nor additional blurring.

Especially given the decision to see if instinct and intuition were correct or misguided. Better to wait for an official invitation than to cause unnecessary chaos.

Change will or will not come and we’ll see what sort of revolution it does or does not cause.