Mail Order Brides

Perhaps they sense my Russian heritage, or have heard the legends regarding my consumption of Absolut. Or maybe they just are addicted to my writing. I am not really sure, but they peaked my curiosity.

Of course I am off the marketplace and not even able to secure a simple concubine. I made a request a short while ago and explained how there is a long and grand tradition of great men in Judaism who have had concubines.

I mentioned Avraham Avinu and Hagar as an example. This was deftly swept aside as I was reminded that Hagar was unceremoniously asked to leave the homestead. Oh well, who needs a mail order bride that cannot speak English, who couldn’t possibly nag me. Oops, did I say that out loud. 😉 Hee hee.

On a side note, a friend of mine who got divorced a couple of years ago expressed interest in his former wife’s sister, to me that is. I suggested that if he had the balls he could go to their father and explain how he had failed the “bedeken.” Of course I reminded him that he could also let me kick him in the groin and throw him down the stairs as the effect of the comment would be the same.

It was funny, really we laughed, but it was funny in the sense of it was something that you dare not make fun of or laugh at.

As I write this, it occurs to me that when I say this happened a couple of years ago it was more than that. It was 1996. Crap, I am getting old, how can nine years have gone by so quickly.

The older I get the faster the years go. Someone save my place in line, I am going for a walk now.

• Saved: Judaism