Archives for May 2005

Folks I grew up with sisters galore not to mention a mother, grandmothers, cousins as well as women I like to call friends. The circle of estrogen around me has only grown as I have been married for many years and in spite of the wisdom that comes with age, I am still puzzled by females and their need for shoes.

I understand the desire to have shoes that match various outfits, but at some point the need for multiple pairs of black pumps needs to be measured against the reality of closet space, actual utility of said shoe and financial wherewithal to purchase overpriced leather.

In short it quickly becomes apparent that this is a commodity item that really is not a need, but a want. Wants are not as important as needs, such as the need for a new Plasma TV which can be used and enjoyed by the entire family. And certainly you can appreciate the need to build more opportunity to bond with family as opposed to satisfying the want to clothe your feet in overpriced leather.

May it ring loud and clear.

One of the most critical skills a person can master is the ability to roll with the punches. It is not always easy to maintain your perspective when it feels like life is punching you in the mouth, but it is necessary.

This blog has been a tremendous outlet for me, a special tool that I have been able to use to assist me in just blowing off steam and preventing frustration from making me freeze in place. And that is something that I am very grateful for.

Because I have noticed that stress paralyzes some people. They are freeze with indecision and are afraid to move for fear of what could happen. It is not always easy to be outside of our comfort zone, but sometimes the way to progress means taking that step outside and plunging into the unknown.

Sean Connery Does In my Life.

Goldie Hawn A Hard Day’s Night

Jim Carrey does a fair job of I Am the Walrus

My driveway is constructed in such a way that it requires tandem parking. In a perfect world we would be able to park side by side and enjoy the freedom and convenience that brings, but at this moment in time that is not a reality.

You may be saying to yourself, “Jack, what difference does this make and why should I care” and to that I say be careful not to speak outloud or the people with the white jackets will come take you away.

Back to the story at hand. The problem with the tandem parking is that I am almost without exception the first to leave in the morning, but not always the last to get home. On those days in which I arrive home first I park on the street so that I can leave unencumbered the following morning.

Until recently this was not a big deal because the car has been parked in front of my house. However, things always change and here is where my story takes a little twist.

There is a big, beautiful tree that stands in front of my home overlooking the street. It rises majestically above where I park my car. Unfortunately a group of birds have decided to appreciate the majesty of the tree by taking up residence directly above where I park my car.

Said group has determined that their favorite latrine is a 1996 Honda Accord. Now I have found that when I walk out to my car I take part in a new adventure. Treppenwitz has Turdistan and in a bad play on words I have my very own Birdistan. These fowl creatures have bowels that are forever flexing. It is like aconvocation of eagles have decided that the best place to relieve themselves is over my poor car.

The strange thing is that when I have parked my car on the street I have moved it so that it does not lie beneath the tree, yet in the AM I still find it covered in bird refuse. But when I park it in the driveway this does not happen.

Those birds are going to drive me batty, but no featherbrain is going to beat me at this game.