The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for May 2006

You Asked Me To Blogroll You

by 16 Comments

Sometimes it makes sense to link to some older comments about recurring issues. And so I bring to you comments from a post I wrote earlier this year.

Obsessed With the Blogroll

If you have been blogging for any length of time you probably have received an email from another blogger asking for you to blogroll them. Sometimes they phrase it differently and offer you a reciprocal link exchange.

Either way the question is still the same, “will you blogroll me?” They want a link on your site that can be used by your readers to find their blog.

I am a bit of a prickly and at times moody fellow so these requests haven’t always fallen upon receptive ears. Sometimes I have just done it and sometimes I don’t even bother to consider it.

I bring this up because in the past two weeks or so I have received requests from several bloggers in which they asked me to blogroll them. In these cases I figured WTF and just did it. There wasn’t any rhyme or reason to it, I just did it.

And then I waited to see if they blogrolled me and guess what? They didn’t. I gave them some time to get it done and then I just nuked them off of the old blogroll.

Call it petty. Call it juvenile, call it detroit basketball. But it just irked me to receive an email in which someone told me that they liked my blog and wanted to trade links.

I don’t expect or need everyone to like my blog. I hope that many people do and that this leads to me making 17 billion dollars, but I don’t expect or need it to. I just don’t like being lied to.

And now I’ll return to my junior high antics in which I pull your hair, make crank calls and play ding dong ditch.

It is Better Than Toilet Paper

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On the right I present to you the fabulous NEOREST Integrated Toilet.

“Operated by wireless remote, NEOREST seat’s multi-Task functions provide gentle front-and back-aerated warm water spray, which can be regulated for preferred water pressure and temperature. Other features include oscillating spray massage, heated seat, automatic catalytic air deodorizer, and warm air dryer — all of which are governed by its “Fuzzy Logic” energy-saving mode. Upon installation, NEOREST records usage frequency, then re-educates itself weekly.”

I already hear the oohs and ahs. Some of you are thinking about this wonder of modern science and asking for more information. Imagine, a toilet that operates by remote control. But wait, there is more! This toilet is constructed so that with the push of a button a stream of water will shoot out and clean your derriere. It is better than toilet paper!

The top row offers five buttons. Reading from right to left you have the dryer, front cleaning, rear cleaning, power rear cleaning for those larger episodes and the stop button.

In addition there are buttons that adjust the rinse cycle, oscillation and pulsation. Forgive me for being crude, but this makes me wonder if they haven’t created the first toilet that is designed to create the perfect orgasm and or clean the stain out of your darks.

Just think, you get all this and more for the less than US$5,000.00 net. That is one hell of a deal.

And you thought that Treppenwitz was the only blog in which you could get a review of the finer products in waste management.

Pshaw to that. If you are looking for bathroom tales we have plenty of those.

  1. Excuse me, There is Toilet Paper Stuck To Your Tuchus
  2. The Talking Penis- A New Bathroom Adventure
  3. Jack’s Experience In the Ladies Room
  4. The GermoPhobe
  5. Bathroom Etiquette

On the other hand I have to remember that it is never smart to piss off the gun slinging chef, even if he is a Red Sox fan. The last thing I want to do is be fed to a krokodil. Ok, I am off in search of the next pot(ty) of blogging gold.