The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for August 2007

The Final Goodbye

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The last chunk of time has been rough. It has been hard for a whole host of reasons, but this evening the toughest was because I had to say goodbye to my pal.

Tomorrow morning he has an appointment with the vet. The family has agonized over this. We have spent a ton of time trying to make sure that we make the right decision. Every discussion with the vet has made it implicitly clear that there are no heroic measures to be taken.

That is not to say that there are not things that could be done, there are. At best they might extend his life by a few months, but they wouldn’t add to the quality of his life and that is the crux of this matter. He is more than 14 years old and the body won’t give of itself anymore.

So for the past few days I have spent as much time with him as I could. He can’t chase me anymore. He used to love to fetch a ball. I could throw it a country mile and he’d go get it and bring it back to me. He has trouble doing the basic stuff now. I look at that majestic head and I can see the young puppy staring back at me. Dark soulful eyes look at you and you just know that he is waiting for a treat.

I feel guilty that I know what is going to happen. I feel like part of me is betraying him, but at the same time I don’t feel right watching him struggle to get through the day. His breathing is labored and there are times where I swear it looks like he is already gone.

Yet there are moments where he fools me. There are moments in which he moves freely and issues that deep bark that always served notice of his presence. It is almost like he is hoping that this will be enough to gain clemency from the governor and gain a reprieve. If it made sense I would grant it. If I could turn back time I’d make him young again and we’d get more time together.

Fourteen years ago I was a single man and he was the one I’d share all my stories with. We’d take long walks at the park and wander the beach together. He has witnessed some of the biggest moments of my life. And all he has ever asked of me is a little food and companionship. It has been a good deal for both of us.

Tonight the children gave him an extra big hug goodbye and so did I. I bent down and rubbed his belly. I leaned over and made a point to smell him so that I would remember his scent.

I am going to miss my friend.

Israel and the double standard

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Meryl caught my attention with her post Israel and the double standard. It refers to the recent story about Israel turning away some refugees from Darfur. Here is an excerpt:

It’s funny when you compare the response to stories like this, where a Hamas children’s program demonstrates cruelty to animals while ostensibly teaching children not to be cruel to animals, with the response to stories about Israel refusing to accept any more African refugees. The Hamas children’s show story got limited play, of course, while the Israel/Darfur story is already developing very long legs. The AP had constantly updating stories out on it over the weekend, and more today. The New York Times and the Washington Post have picked up the story and run with it.

I am decidedly torn about Israel’s response to these people. Some of them are refugees from Darfur. Others are simply people trying to find work and a better life for themselves. Still others are leaving Egypt because Egypt’s treatment of African refugees is despicable. They have beat and murdered refugees without compunction, and why wouldn’t they? The world stands by and ignores it, even when the AP puts a boilerplate into every one of its articles pointing out that the Egyptian police murdered 30 Sudanese when “clearing a refugee encampment.” Where is the UN Refugee Agency on this issue? Why no statements from the Secretary General demanding that Egypt follow international law and stop treating the refugees so cruelly? Where is the UN’s response to the Egyptian border police’s murder of Sudanese refugees trying to escape into Israel? How is it that those incidents pass relatively unnoticed by the world, yet Israel’s policy on refugees crossing the border from Israel merits over 400 articles now, double what it was yesterday, and five times the number of stories that went out about Hamas’ animal cruelty-slash-brainwashing video.

Once again, we see the world’s double standard for Israel—and Jews—in full swing. Because Jews suffered, they are obliged to never let other people suffer on their watch. Because modern Israel was created partly due to the world’s guilt over the Holocaust, Israel must rescue all the refugees from all violence all over the world—or so goes the current thinking. And it is right there in the lede of all the AP articles speeding ’round the world.

Go read the full post.

I am in agreement about how uncomfortable the situation is. In light of our experience it feels shameful to turn anyone away. I’d like to try and come up with a better situation. But as Meryl wrote, there is a double standard at work here. It is quite disgusting to see that there are people in the world who will let others die to try and make a point.

Some Assembly Required Part II

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Last December I wrote a post about the joys of assembling toys. It easily could have included a bit about Ikea and their ilk. You haven’t lived until you have tried to follow Olaf’s instructions on how to build something that resembles the piece in the showroom.

I can remember more than one time in which I made plans to fly to Sweden to kick Olaf’s Scandinavian ass. On a side note to the dear troll who is currently hiding here, that was an exaggeration. Or maybe it wasn’t, maybe I believe that the Three Billy Goat’s Gruff is a true story. Still, I digress.

The impetus for this post is a birthday gift my daughter received for her birthday. A Dora the Explorer bicycle. It is not the first time that I have had to put a bike together. I know my way around them and I know how to work with tools. I won’t claim to be a master craftsman. A Jack of All Trades is an appropriate description.

So you would think that assembling a small bicycle should be relatively easy. No, no, no. Not this time. This time some jackass had the bright idea of taking the directions and playing with them. The illustrations were so blurry they were useless and the text made as much sense as the following sentence: I truck you backwards ass monkey in love with short man.

I take that back, that last sentence is easier to understand than the instructions. It took a while to get through it, but after a while I figured out that 97w69578905y30 means that they are discussing part x and that it was supposed to go into 9875896t7402 or part y. It really shouldn’t be this hard to build it.

That is 45 minutes of my life I am not going to get back. Not quite as bad as being at a Barry Manilow concert and certainly less painful than setting foot in cleveland or detroit. But, good G-d man. What the hell is wrong with these people. Go take out your perverse pleasures with someone else who appreciates it.

In the meantime the daughter still considers dear old dad to be a hero, which is pretty damn cool. Now if I can wipe her memory clean of all the colorful language I used today just might be close to perfect.

Does your life need a coach?

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CNN is running an article about life coaches.

(CNN) — “Where do you see yourself in five or 10 years?”

It’s one of those questions many job-seekers dread during an interview, but it can be daunting to answer on a personal level as well. Amid all your responsibilities, activities and projects, it’s sometimes hard to see the big picture and easy to become overwhelmed or feel like you’re lacking direction.

That’s where a life coach can come in.

“If you are frustrated with an aspect of your life, not sure how to stop making the same choices you keep making or just want to have more happiness, peace of mind and passion — life coaching can do that for you,” says Rhonda Britten, founder of the Fearless Living Institute.

Life coaches can specialize in areas like relationships, careers or personal growth. They promise to motivate, offer support when clients need a boost in confidence and help them decide which direction to take.

“In a perfect world, everyone could figure this out for him or herself, but we live in such a complicated time … that most of us need all the help we can get,” says life coach Libby Gill.

I often joke about becoming a life coach or motivational speaker. It is not that I have complete disdain for these people, but I sometimes find it hard to take them seriously. And it is not that I feel like I am the perfect example of someone who hasn’t any challenges. Anyone who reads the blog for any length of time knows that.

But, I sometimes wonder if some people choose the path of least resistance, if they abdicate responsibility by hiring one a coach. Maybe that is too simplistic. Perhaps I am not digging deep enough. There is merit in finding someone to help you as a mentor. Maybe what I am poking fun at it is the idea of hiring someone to kick your ass into gear.

Because it seems to me that if you cannot find the motivation within yourself it doesn’t matter what you do or whom you hire. Change comes from internal forces.

Personally my life coach is this blog. I tend to lay out my thoughts here and then determine how to proceed. You know what I want to do. I want to clone myself so that I can find time to do more, to learn more, to experience more. Maybe I can find a life coach who knows how to make that happen.