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The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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Archives for December 2008

Milk

December 28, 2008 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

I saw Milk. It was excellent. Actually managed to catch a number of other flicks including Defiance, Rachel Getting Married and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

I enjoyed them all, but liked Defiance best. Got a few others to hit including Gran Torino and Revolutionary Road.

Eastwood has long been one of my favorite actors. I don’t agree with much of Sean Penn’s politics, but he is a fine actor. Who would have thought that the man who played Jeff Spicoli would come so far.

I think that I’ll probably add to this post later on. At the moment it is a bit too late and I am a bit too tired and pissed off to write any more.

Filed Under: Movies

Who says I love You First

December 28, 2008 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

This has got to be one of the dumbest articles I have ever read. I have to wonder if the author truly believes what she has written or if this was a feeble attempt to meet a deadline. If you read the article you’ll see that this woman says that men should always be first to say “I love you.”

“So what happens if you get there first and you say it and he’s not there yet? What happens when your “I love you” is met with a “thank you,” or worse, a deer-in-headlights look? Well, it stings, sure, but more than that, it can stop a perfectly happy and healthy relationship in its tracks before it’s even too far from the station.

If a woman asks a man out and he says ‘no,’ at least she knows where she stands with him and she doesn’t waste any time pining over someone who isn’t interested. Same thing goes if she makes a move on him and she’s rejected.

If she’s in a serious relationship — one where the expression of love has been made clearly by both partners — and she’s eager to make a deeper commitment, there’s nothing wrong with proposing. At the very least, it’ll start a conversation of where the relationship is headed so the woman can decide for herself if and how long she’s willing to wait if the man isn’t interested in getting married yet.

But an “I love you” uttered too soon, before the man has processed his feelings and reached the same level of adoration could end a relationship that just as easily could have had an eternal shelf life. As soon as those words are said, they change the dynamic. If a man isn’t feeling the love quite yet, he may suddenly feel pressure to manifest that emotion. And if the woman doesn’t get the response she expected, it could damage her confidence enough to derail the whole relationship entirely.”

I suppose that part of what annoys me about this nonsense is that there is a lack of logic here or at least a lack of acknowledgement that men run the same risk. If a man tells a woman that he is in love with her he risks her bolting from the relationship just as she does in the reverse.

Filed Under: Love, Relationships

I Hate Christmas

December 25, 2008 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

So the Chanukah holiday madness continues to plague my life. Ok, that is a really unfair characterization of one of my favorite holidays, but I kind of like the way that it sounds. So because I like to use this blog as both a place to vent and a chronicle of my life allow me to share more notes about the current Chanukah season.

Chanukah season comes from the mouth of the almost eight-year-old boy that lives with me. The guy I call “Little Jack” told me he hates Christmas and that Christians don’t know how to share. I look down at the big guy and say that there is no reason to hate Christmas. He replied with a large dose of almost eight-year-old boy logic and reason.

“Christians need to share the holidays with us. All we ever see are Christmas decorations and Christmas songs. Why aren’t there more Jewish things. That would be more fair.”

Being the good father I smiled in a fatherly way and said “there are a lot more Christians here and because of that there tends to be more Christmas stuff. There is really no reason to hate it.”
He grimaced at me and said that there was no reason why they couldn’t share better and that for every Christmas show there should be at least one Chanukah. I told him that I understood, but sometimes life isn’t fair and that it is still not a reason to hate the holiday.

“But dad, they are celebrating a lie. Santa Claus is a fat faker!”

I asked him why he said that and where he had heard such things. He told me that I had taught him that Santa was fake and that we didn’t believe in Christmas or Christian things.

I replied and told him that was correct and then asked him if I had ever told him that he should hate Christmas or that it was a lie. And that was where he really hit me with another solid dose of almost eight-year-old boy logic and reason.

“No, you never said any of those things. But if it is not real then it must be a lie and I hate being lied to. And I really hate being lied to when people can’t share. Why can’t they share better!”

Now I have to admit that I can see exactly how he came to his conclusions and part of me was proud of his deductive reasoning skills. However, I don’t want him running around saying these things to other people.  It is not right and I made sure that I explained it to him.

I told him that it is ok for people to have other beliefs and that we didn’t care. As long as they are not forcing those beliefs upon others we don’t care. I explained that if someone told him that his beliefs were predicated upon a lie he would be angry. He asked me to repeat that line, “predicated upon a lie” and then asked me to explain what it meant. Note to self, don’t be surprised when he uses that line upon me.

We went back and forth for a few more minutes about being tolerant and why I would be intolerant of him telling other kids that Santa isn’t real and that Christmas is a lie.  Eventually he told me that he understood, but he did tell me that he wants to talk to Santa. I asked why and he told me that he wants to tell him that he shouldn’t try and fool kids into believing that he is real.

So the gift I got out of this conversation is the knowledge that the big guy can be just as stubborn and singleminded of purpose as his dad.

Two days after this conversation he told me that he wants to go visit one of our elderly neighbors to help decorate her tree. I hesitated for a moment and then asked him why he’d want to help if he hated the holiday. He looked at me as if I was stupid and said, “I don’t hate it that way dad.” And then he proceeded to make me feel very proud as he told me that he thought that since our neighbor was old it would be really nice to help her decorate her tree and make her smile.

A few other notes to share. Every Chanukah we tell the children that we need to go through their old toys and find some to give away to children who don’t have any. The dark haired beauty was irritated with her older sibling and tried to show it by piling up some of his new gifts and suggesting that they would be good gifts for other kids.

As you might imagine this was not well received by the big guy. His father however has to admit to trying hard not to smile. It is hard not to when a pretty little girl in a princess dress smiles at you. Oh did I mention that she used her magic wand to give to me everything I want including “super magic.”

Not quite sure what “super magic” is, but I think that it must be pretty good. Maybe I’ll do some research upon this and report back later. That is it for now.

Filed Under: Children

I Loved This George Will Essay

December 25, 2008 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

This is fine essay recounting some of the events of 2008. It is worth looking at. Here are a few excerpts:

“If 2008 were not divisible by four, this would have been The Year of Gen. David Petraeus. During the presidential contest between an African-American from Chicago and a plumber from Toledo, eros reared its beguiling head, so: Coming soon to a Cineplex near you, “Republicans in Love,” a romantic comedy about conservatives who advocate extravagant presidential powers and who this autumn favored putting the governor of a national park (the federal government owns 63 percent of Alaska) in close proximity to those powers.“

and

“Peanut allergy had its 15 minutes as a cause of public health hysteria, long enough for the vigilant schools of Union County, N.C., to ban PB&J sandwiches. In New Haven, Conn., an eighth grader was suspended, removed as class vice president and banned from a school honors dinner because he bought a banned substance from a classmate. The substance was Skittles, the fruit-flavored candy. A food fascist explained that candy sales violate the school system’s wellness policy. In Prince William County, Va., police were called when Randy Castro, 7, a first grader, became the subject of an incident report titled “Sexual Touching Against Student, Offensive.” While still 6 he had smacked a classmate’s bottom. Residents of New York City are becoming obese almost three times faster than other Americans, which is probably partly explained by nanny-mayor Michael Bloomberg’s jihad against smoking. Compulsory calisthenics—”Central Park at 6:30 a.m. Be there or be fined!”—cannot be far off.”

Filed Under: Politics

Madoff Madness- Elie Wiesel

December 24, 2008 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

I haven’t commented on this story here. Made remarks on other blogs, but haven’t said anything here yet. But I expect that I will. I am very angry. I know people that were affected. Some of them are going to be ok and some are not. But it is not about whether people will survive or not.

It is about a fundamental flaw in this man’s character that allowed him to ignore the devastation that he was unleashing upon so many. There are a lot of different charities that I could write about, but I am taking the “easy road” because this story is out there already.

Survived the Holocaust to see his work so severely damaged by the greed of another. Terrible.

WASHINGTON (AFP) – The Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity lost more than 15 million dollars — nearly all of its assets — in the alleged fraud scheme run by Wall Street baron Bernard Madoff, the fund said Wednesday.

“We are writing to inform you that the Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity had 15.2 million dollars under management with Bernard Madoff Investment Securities,” said the foundation, which aims to combat anti-Semitism, on its website.

“This represented substantially all of the Foundation’s assets,” it said.
“We are deeply saddened and distressed that we, along with many others, have been the victims of what may be one of the largest investment frauds in history.”

The statement added that the foundation “remains committed to carrying on the lifelong work of our founder, Elie Wiesel. We shall not be deterred from our mission to combat indifference, intolerance, and injustice around the world.”

Wiesel, 80, a Nobel laureate and prolific author who survived the Holocaust, created the foundation some 20 years ago to foster international dialogue and youth programs to teach tolerance.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Chanukah 2008 Continued

December 24, 2008 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

You know that line about those who forget history are doomed to repeat it? Well tonight kind of made me think of that. Let me set the scene as best I can.

The year is somewhere around 1976 or ’77. Your hero (that is me) is a young schoolboy. Happy, well adjusted and glad to recite all of the Welcome Back Kotter lines with his friends, “up your nose with a rubber hose” was a personal favorite.

My family is at home. My sisters and I are involved in different activities around the house. At some point in time my middle sister and I have a disagreement about something. I can’t remember what I did, but like a good big brother I really aggravated her. She hauls off and belts me in the mouth. It doesn’t hurt, but it does knock out a loose tooth.

I am infuriated by this. Looking back I think that I was more upset by the idea that my little sister got one over on me than anything else.

Flash forward to the present. The family is at my folk’s house. It is filled with aunts, uncles and cousins. I hear my son scream and he comes marching up stairs holding his mouth. I see blood and ask what happened. He hands me a tooth and tells me that his younger cousin kicked him in the mouth and knocked out his tooth.

That younger cousin just happens to be the youngest child of the sister that knocked out my tooth. He is truly sorry and tells me repeatedly that it was an accident and it probably was.

A little bit later all if forgiven and forgotten and we go to light candles. I bask in the glow of the lights and the smiles on the faces of the kids. We finish the blessings and the kids run and sit in the living room. I look at my father and say that he should get ready to play grandpa.

We walk over and my son tells me that they are all ready to get their gifts. I look at him and say that we’re not doing gifts tonight. My niece looks at me and says, “don’t tease us Uncle Jack.” I smile and tell her that I am not.

Jaws drop and confused looks from the children are pointed towards us. My son takes the lead again and says that it is not funny, the joke is over. I assure him that tonight there are no gifts and then the heavens unleash a torrent of young voices upon us.

I quiet them down and remind them that the holiday is not only about gifts. I give them two minutes of patented parent P.R. and add a dose of guilt. And then I remind them that another reason we are not exchanging gifts is because not all of their cousins are there. Not to mention that the good news is that they will get gifts the next night.

Kids shrug their shoulders at me and grumble for a moment. I offer a free kick in the pants or punch in the nose. No one takes me up on it. They run off to play and I look at my father.

“What are you looking at,” he asks. I tell him that I want his opinion on how I did. He smiles, pats me on the shoulder and says “you’re learning.” I smile back and tell him that it is still ok for him to give me a gift that night.

He smiles and sticks out his hand. I place my hand in his, knowing what is coming.

“Congratulations.”

And the lesson here is that old family tricks never die, even those that still aren’t funny. Ok, I laughed, but that is a long story in itself. We’ll save it for a different day.

Filed Under: Children, Holidays, Things About Jack

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