The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for December 2008

Living Inside My Skull

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“I fell in to a burning ring of fire
I went down,down,down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns,burns,burns
the ring of fire
the ring of fire.”
Ring of Fire- Johnny Cash

There is a fire that burns inside me. It has always been there. I cannot remember a time where I couldn’t feel it. Good, bad or indifferent I live a lot of my life inside my head. That means that I think in very graphic terms. It is a blessing and a curse.

It is relatively easy for me to remember the highlights of my life. I close my eyes and I can take myself to the finest moments, but the knife cuts both ways. I remember the bad things far too easily. The nicks, bumps, scrapes and bruises are there with the sunshine and roses. The failures stand next to the successes and they all buck for attention.

Someone told me that this is part of being a storyteller. They said that a true artist must suffer from the trials of passion or they cannot produce their art. I don’t know if I buy into that. It sounds good. I like to think that I am a good writer with potential to be great, but I don’t know if I can accept what they said.

What I do know is that every day I work at trying to be relaxed and easygoing, but it is not alway easy.

“Well, life is (too short), so love the one you got
‘Cause you might get runover or you might get shot
Never start no static I just get it off my chest
Never had to battle with no bulletproof vest
Take a small example, take a tip from me
Take all of your money, give it all to charity
Love is what I got
It’s within my reach”
What I Got- Sublime

I try hard to live like that. I work at just letting go and reminding myself that my life is relatively easy, but that fire keeps burning. As I age I find that it is easier to let go but every now and then something happens and I feel the flames shoot up inside of me.

It is no secret that I pay a ton of attention to my children. My son is very much his own person. He is a beautiful boy with so many positive attributes it just makes me choke up with pride. If you are expecting the proverbial but to appear now you are going to have to keep waiting there really is no but.

What I can say is that I have noticed that he shares many of my traits. (Cue Cat’s In The Cradle) One of them is that he internalizes things the way that I do. So I suppose that part of my search for answers is so that I can be of more help to him in teaching him to get over things. Too much narishkeit.

Here are the next 10 songs on my iTunes

Broken Hearts– Living Colour
Higher And Higher– Jackie Wilson
Because– The Beatles
I Want A Little Girl– Ray Charles
A Kind Of Magic– Queen
Institutionalized– Suicidal Tendencies
White Lines (Long Version)– Grandmaster Flash, Melle Mel & The Furious Five
God Bless The Child– Billie Holiday
We Are Family– Sister Sledge
Young Americans– David Bowie
The Planets, Op. 32: Mars, The Bringer Of War– Holst
How Soon Is Now– Morrissey
The Hustle– Van McCoy And The Soul City Symphony

Ok, that was more than ten, but it was far too much fun. That is about all I have to say on this topic, for now.

(originally posted here.) This is a green blog. We recycle all sorts of things including posts.

Monday Midafternoon Music

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Ok, time for a quick summary of some of what I have been listening to today.

Superman– REM
Sweet Child of Mine– Guns N’ Roses
Sweet Lullaby– Deep Forest
Tadarida– Batman Begins Soundtrack
Tom’s Diner– Suzanne Vega
Mary, Mary– Run DMC
Turn Up The Radio– Autograph
Vincent– Don McLean
Viva Las Vegas– Elvis Presley
You Get What You Give– New Radicals
Cleveland Rocks– The Shmata Queen Sings
You Can Leave Your Hat On– Joe Cocker
Coming to America– Neil Diamond
Since I’ve Been Loving You– Led Zeppelin

Superman- Music

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Was on a different blog earlier today and stumbled onto REM’s song Superman. FWIW, I don’t think that the sound quality of that video is all that good, but it is another one of those songs that I have always kind of enjoyed.

It is from their album Lifes Rich Pageant. If you click on that last link you’ll see that it came out in ’86 during my high school days. 1986, hmm…I guess that for some of you that makes me sound really young and to some really old, but I digress.

If you read further down the link you’ll see that they mention the song Cuyahoga which will make the Shmata Queen happy even though she left the land of the burning river behind decades ago.

As a high school kid the lyrics kind of caught my attention. They were simple, yet effective. I suspect that at least one person reading this will appreciate them the way that I do.

“(Godzilla doll opens in Japanese with ‘This is a special news report.
Godzilla has been sighted in Tokyo Bay. The attack on it by the Self-Defense
Force has been useless. He is heading towards the city. AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!’)

I am I am I am Superman and I know what’s happening
I am I am I am Superman and I can do anything

You don’t really love that guy you make it with now do you
I know you don’t love that guy cause I can see right through you

If you go a million miles away I’ll track you down girl
Trust me when I say I know the pathway to your heart”

If we continue with the topic we have to hit John William’s score for the Superman movies and a confession. Sometimes when I am working out and find myself growing tired I put this song on. Most of the time it works.

Second confession. In college I once decided to try to jump onto my bed from about ten feet away. I figured that if I was going to try to fly I might as well have the appropriate music playing. So I took a moment to clear some space, my own personal runway and then turned on the music.

Good old Jack started moving. My feet were pounding the floor and in no time at all I reached maximum velocity and launched myself into the air. If we only had the video footage you’d see two hundred pounds of twenty year old easily clear the bed and slam into the wall. There was nothing graceful about it.

Fortunately I wasn’t hurt and I didn’t go through the wall, although my shoulder felt like it did.

Third confession. You’d think that having crashed into the wall once would have been enough to convince me not to do this again. Nope, I had to try several more times from different distances because one must always know just what they are capable of.

At a later date I might have to share the stories of when I flew through the closet doors or headbutted a hole in the wall. And people wonder why I hope that my kids have more sense than I did. 😉

What if You Get What You Wish For

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The boys and I have been making a real effort to do a better job of staying in touch. It seems that a group of us are all struggling to make sense of where life has taken us. Some might call it a midlife crisis, but I wouldn’t. I am 39 and on my way to living to be a 130 or so. For you math majors that means that I am well short of midlife.

But it also means that I have been out of college for more than a couple of years now. I am no longer the fresh faced kid in the office looking at the start of a long and successful career. Now I am a father with two kids in private school, a mortgage and a funny look on my face. Ask my father and he’ll tell you that I was born with that look. Do me a favor and laugh at his joke, it will make him feel good. Not to mention all that Kabed et Evecha v’et eemecha stuff.

So a few of us gather around a table to eat lunch and commiserate. We look at each other and ask when we became a caricature of a bad sitcom. There is the soon to be divorced guy who is sleeping on an air mattress at the home of the single guy who has sworn never to get married. Then there is the guy who is so happy and secure in his marriage and life that the rest of us want to puke. I love the guy to death, but when he mentions that life couldn’t be better I ask him how he is going to explain the large dent I am going to put in the side of his head.

He looks at us and asks if our lives are really that bad. We smile and give him a variety of answers. Life could be far worse, we’re healthy. We have a roof over our heads blah, blah, blah. But something is missing. The answer as to what is missing varies from person to person, but there is a general dissatisfaction.

I throw out the question of what happens if you get what you wish for. What if your dream comes true. What will you do then. One of the guys looks at me and says that it would be perfect, it would be amazing. I smile and ask him if anything is ever perfect. He gives me an answer about perfect moments. I smile back and tell him that I can relate to that. I have a list of perfect moments.

But what happens in between the perfect moments. What do you do to fill up the time. And really, life is never an exact replica of our dreams. Even if you live the dream you get to live some hard times with it. And so I wonder how many times we miss realizing that we are living the dream.

Or what happens if the opportunity comes and you miss it. What happens if that special thing you are looking for shows up on your doorstep. Are you ready to make the move and take the leap of faith. And that my friends is the difference between now and twenty years ago. Now we are encumbered with responsibility and the freedom that we had is gone. Now there are consequences to all of our actions.

One of the fellows looked at me and sarcastically thanked me for inspiring him. I smiled and told him that I believed that we could make changes. I said that it is not impossible and that we shouldn’t view things in that light. Every action has its own set of consequences and they aren’t always negative.

But I understood his concern and his position. Now it is harder to try and predict the future. Now it is harder to try and foresee what will happen if you take that fork in the road. Maybe it is the gambler in me. Maybe if it just because I have had this restless nature and a bad case of wanderlust, but there is something interesting to me about that fork.

So here I am staring off into the distance. I have dreams of the future. I have some fantasies that I hope work out. Can’t say for sure that they will, but then again, I can’t say that they won’t. What I can say is that I am trying to prepare myself so that if I get what I wish for I will be ready for it.

Haveil Havalim #196- My Kids Wish It Was Chanukah Already

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Welcome to Haveil Havalim #196, The My Kids wish it were Chanukah edition. If you are unfamiliar this the Jewish/Israeli blogosphere’s weekly blog carnival. It is a roundup of posts from around the Jblogosphere. It doesn’t matter if you are new or old to the Jblogosphere, this is one of the best ways to find out what is going on.

If you are on Facebook don’t forget to join our group. It is the place where you can go and share thoughts and ideas about posts, carnivals and other important information. In just a moment we’re going to send you to the carnival, but before we do I have a video to help get you pumped up.

Israel

Ben-Yehudah presents Some Likud Afterthoughts. Westbankmama presents The “Rebels” Have Returned and Win By A Technicality, Lose By One Too.

muse presents Trying To Make Sense Out Of Israeli Democracy,Dirty Tricks– Likud Style and The “Real Likud”.

Ben-Yehudah presents Translation: “Reprogramming”. Over at the Muqata you can read Israel’s Left/Right to Visit Each Other.

Yechezkel shared a right- wing perspective on the Israeli judicial system in general and the Valis trial in particular.

Over at Jerusalemite you can read A conversation with Gil Peled, eco-architect or you can find out if Jerusalem has a soup nazi hiding out in the old city. Speaking of soup, if you remember Chocolate Soup raise your hands.

And as long as we’re playing let’s remember I’ll pull out Ritchies Pizza. Sometimes I miss that place, or maybe I just miss the Israel I remember from my youth.

More on this at a different time. Because as long as you have been hanging out at Jerusalemite you might as well read about cleaning for Bambi.

Mumbai is still on people’s minds.

Dry Bones has a cartoon about Hindu Zionists. Israpundit blogged Muslims, though small in number begin to protest terrorism.

Rafi has the story and video about a rabbi who sings in gratitude for the survivors of Mumbai. You should take a look at A Tribute To Rav Gavriel Noach Holtzberg z”l.

Don’t forget to see “Now We Are All Lubavitch.”

From Yid With Lid, William Pfaff –>Mumbai Was The Jews Fault ????

Read more at In Memorium. Gabi & Rivky Holtzberg H”YD and Religion and State in Israel – December 8, 2008 (Section 1).

Section two includes a number of articles: Jerusalem’s new secular Mayor Barkat brings Haredim into coalition and much more. To see them Click here.

Mississippi Fred wonders if you can identify the man in this picture. Torat Yisrael has a post that says that Microsoft is supporting Hezbollah’s webmail.

Eric presents Prime Ministers in History: Menachem Begin. Israel Chronicles shared Tis the Season- or NOT.

Batya shared one of her greatest mistakes.

Esser Agaroth shared Oh, NOW, They’re Upset…

From EOZ we have “Slaughter the Jews”, Abbas: “Free Gaza” a joke, PA pays 70,000 Gazans and Le Monde: Hamas isn’t really that bad! .

Benji has been eavesdropping Overheard on Galgalatz! You have to love a country where the bus drivers are so friendly. But then again maybe life can be a bit explosive.

From Meryl, British anti-Israel profs lose the fight. Rutimizrachi presents “…where everybody knows your name…” #1.

Go visit Weekend Hospitality and read about Organ Donors in Israel.

Judaism

The Rebbetzin’s Husband offers sound advice with What’s the first thing to teach children about Judaism? Jewish Atheist blogged about wearing the Frum Costume.

Frum Cynic talked about hats in Black and White. Daled Amos discussed the Kosher Quandary.
The Real Shaliach is Connecting the Anniversary.

Schvach Yid presents Schvach – פני דל. Jacob has a question for the editors of Yeshiva World.

Lion of Zion has a post called Sforno’s Jewish Work Ethic.

At Miriam’s ideas she discusses threats to Judaism in a post called Bigot. Shira has a thought about Rivka Imenu.

From Judeopundit we have IRNA: “Jewish shrine in Iran registered as national work”

Avraham Rephael (aka Bar Kochba) presents “But some of my best friends are Jewish…”

At Jewlicious you can read about how Treif kills. Are you looking for Chanukah gifts? There are suggestions at EnLightening Gifts.

Esther is helping to pass the candle.

Mother in Israel discusses Breastfeeding and Judaism.

At Frum Satire you can read about the 20 types of guys that every yeshiva has. Hungry? Visit Raizy to learn about Cooking Kosher In A Small Kitchen.

Male and female relationships are covered in a post called Why, as a wife, I still want to see other men.

Politics/World

At Fiery Spirited Zionist you can read about England’s Death Knell. The Ima wants to know if you can pray for the economy.

How about taking a gander at FDR versus Kashrut. Yid With Lid offered: Martin Indyk–>Time To SCREW ISRAEL.

Seraphic Secret introduces us to a new publication called Big Hollywood. Something tells me that Schvach isn’t a fan of the Big Three.

Fausta’s Blog discusses the row caused by Sarkozy’s support of Israel. The inimitable Soccer Dad says Silly rabid antisemite hugs are for thugs.

Who knew that Iron Man is Jewish. Speaking of comic books and religion I have a link here that some people might enjoy.

The Velveteen Rabbi has a list of conference posts from The Rabbis For Human Rights conference.

Political party blames feminism for destruction of Israel says Writes Like She Talks. While you are there don’t forget to take a look at the Jewish history of Obama home in Chicago.

Yid With Lid shared the story about a judge who says that Jews should be denied bail because they might be a flight risk.

Hubscubs discussed corruption. Solomonia shared Theodore Dalrymple: The Decay and Fall of the West.

Personal/Miscellaneous

Friar Yid presents a post about his grandfather called Reflections on a Yarzeit. Mommy Going Meshugganah had Thanksgiving with the Sailors.

LOZ related the story of Junior and the Cleaning lady.

Yehuda enjoyed a meal at a Waffle House the question is did the waiters enjoy him. 😉 Sadly it wasn’t at Jameel’s Famous Waffle factory. Maybe next time.

Some of you might be interested in taking Anger Management tips from The Rebbetzin’s Husband.

rutimizrachi presents Winter Colors, Created By Kids and Ki Yachol Nuchal!: The Nes of the Nachash.

On my blog I posted I am In Love and shared a conversation with my daughter called Dear Santa Take a Memo.

NY’s Funniest Rabbi has a post that to me is sort of what blogging is all about go read Kriyat Shma Al HaLaptop.

Shtetl Fabulous presents They Feel the Heat, The Heat Between Me and You.

Carol has a very cool painting here.

Therapydoc asks What’s In a Name.

Come here and join the discussion about Jewish athletes.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of haveil havalim using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.
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