The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for October 2012

Do You Play By The Rules?

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listen to ‘Do You Play By The Rules?’ on Audioboo

There are moments when I want to know who thought it was ok to stick a bit in my mouth and smack me on the back like I am some sort of plow horse.

You could say I have been graced with broad shoulders, significant amounts of tenacity and determination and a will to win. You could say I will walk through hell covered in gasoline and it would be true.

That is part of what comes with the territory of being me and part of why there have been moments where I have said I live alone and apart. It is not always like that, not by a long shot.

Most of the time, the overwhelming majority of time there is no significant substance to alone and apart but it doesn’t mean that frustration doesn’t come out and bubble over.

Life is interesting and it is part of why I think of whether people play by the rules and if they should.

Thus far I have found that my way of doing things has gotten me to where I am going but it hasn’t been working as well for a while now so I have been doing my best to mix it up. Change is easy and change is hard.

But it is necessary, so I am doing it.

I don’t want to destroy all the structure in life nor am I trying to change things so that it would be fair for all because I don’t believe that can happen.

But I see possibilities and want to turn them into opportunities- that is the goal. So when you ask if I play by the rules I suppose I have to answer…sometimes.

The Search For The Write Words

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There is a war that rages inside me between my head and my heart.  It is part of the beauty of being me and part of what comes when you are born with an unquenchable fire.

My children have it too, but they show it in different ways.

I watch them when they are sleeping and remember what it was like to lay my head down upon a pillow without a care in the world. I stare at them and see untapped potential and endless amounts of innocence.

While they sleep I stand at the door and wonder what they are going to do with their lives and who they are going to become. There is endless amounts of joy in watching them grow and untold amounts of stress and struggle in trying to help them get to where they are going.

The Write Words

Maybe it is because I am just starting to understand who I am meant to be and just beginning to see the outline of how to get there. Maybe it is because ten thousand posts, more than five blogs and almost nine years of blogging has led me over the hills and through the woods to a place that offers answers to the questions I have yet to ask.

The write words are what I seek. Every single time I sit down at this table and ease my butt into this chair I look for the write words and wonder what it is going to take to pull them out and share them here.

It is part of why I try to include music and pictures in these posts. The goal is to paint a picture with words and to share with you what I see inside my head.

When I find the write words you see what I see and feel what I feel. The write words are what motivate you to respond to my call to action and they are what we use to create connections.

Social Media Madness

I think about all of these things because I have to fight the social media madness. Even after a million years there are days when I get caught on the hamster wheel and ask myself if I have done a proper job of posting, promoting and commenting.

Am I out there tweeting, pinning and Facebooking the right way, at the right times and with the right people.

Intermixed there is a feeling of disdain and a disconcerting sense that sometimes I give in to the social media madness and try to be other than I am. It doesn’t happen often but the moments come when my ego gets involved and I think that if I just worked a bit harder my posts would be smarter, my words would be wiser and the net result would mean  would be richer.

But for better or for worse I shake off that feeling of nonsense and look for the topics and posts that make me happy. I write first for me and then for you.

Stories and  Such

Some of my favorite moments come from visiting things like Pray for Him or What is a Person Worth. There is a certain joy I take in writing about certain topics.

Every time I see List Posts Are For Lazy Bloggers I smile. I don’t care if you like it because I love it. That is a post where I feel like I hit square on the head.

I Wrote This For You is another post where I feel like I got it write. Sometimes it happens. If you dance in the fire you find the rhythm you seek,

Life doesn’t have to make sense. All we have to do is take care of our families, friends and those who are dear to us. That is what the blog remind me of.

When I read it I remember dark haired girl who talked to me about not wanting to break a boy’s heart and 273 Blogging Tips I Never Shared & Still Won’t.

There are layers upon layers of material and magic here. It is up to you to decide if The Pinterest Predicament & The Rule Of Four is worth more than a few moments or if this is The Best Cover Letter….Ever.

As for me, well I am still asking questions like Is It Intuition Or Desire? and working on finding the write words.

One day I may give it all up. I might walk away and not say a word or I might just say goodnight and goodbye.

Dude Write

How Many Bloggers Does It Take To Make a Sandwich

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More than a couple of you left comments or sent me emails in which you said you weren’t fans of The Princess Bride and though I wanted to shout INCONCEIVABLE at you, I did not.

That is ok, I still might invite you to come sail with the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Blogging can be a funny medium in both the “I can’t stop laughing” and “this is odd” kind of way. I am told that I often make people feel both of those and I am good with that and hope you are too.

Let’s move on.

How Many Bloggers Does It Take to Make a Sandwich

That is the kind of headline I love because there are so many different directions you can run with it. And today my good people I am going to start by letting you know there is a giveaway in this post.

Ta Dah! Cue lights and music.

You’ll notice I didn’t put anything about that giveaway in the headline. That is because many of the folks in my Triberr tribes wouldn’t tweet, stumble and link to this and that would be a shame because there are layers in this post that extend beyond the giveaway. Keep reading and I promise you’ll see what I am talking about.

The SUBWAY FRESH FIT Tuscan Chicken Melt

I like Subway because it is quick, easy and provides more healthy options than other fast food joints. They also get the thumbs up from my kids which makes them almost golden in my book because it means I don’t get stuck in silly fights about what to eat and where.

Ok, that is not entirely true, but I can usually convince them to add more green things on their sandwich than I can at home and that is worth something to me.

This month Subway is promoting the Fresh Fit Tuscan Chicken Melt. I had one for lunch on Monday afternoon and was pleased with my meal. It was good. It was filling and it was probably better for me than the greasy burger and fries I was desperately craving.

Score one for will power.

Anyhoo, this week I am going to give away a $25 gift card to one lucky winner. The rules for this contest are simple:

  1. You must solve and explain Fermat’s Last Theorem.
  2. Compose an original song in my honor and make a video of yourself singing it.
  3. Ignore the first two items and follow the fourth.
  4. Comment on this post and trust that the random number generator will pick a winner.

Now we are going to find out who has solid reading comprehension skills.

If you were here you would have heard me use my D.J. voice to announce that you just finished listening to Adele sing Skyfall, the theme song to the latest James Bond movie.

I am a fan, of both James Bond and Adele.

Adele is blessed with a voice that has exceptional power. If I had the ability to sing well that is what  I want.

Let’s clarify it, I want a powerful man’s voice, not Adele’s. I’d sound funny if I sounded like a British woman. I am not Boy George.

A New Twitter Trick

If you are new to the blog you may wonder if I am capable of sewing all of the different themes, pieces and parts in my posts. My answer is “of course” but ultimately you are the judge.

I opened this post with a clip from a tweet I sent out earlier today. In the past when I wanted to share a tweet I had to take a screenshot or recreate it, but recent changes in Twitter have made it a much simpler process.

Now they give the option to expand the tweet so you can obtain code to embed and render the tweet on your blog. It is what I did above and something I think is quite useful.

Bloggers and Sandwiches

During this last visit to Subway I stood safely ensconced in my electronic bubble and stared at my Droid while trying to figure out how I was going to write the post you are reading.

I watched the three guys behind the counter work together to build and serve the sandwiches and thought about how it is similar to what we do here.

It is goofy, but I could draw a legitimate comparison between how the folks at Subway do their job and how we do ours. We may not ask each reader if they want pickles, lettuce and mustard on their sandwich but we do pay attention to what they are consuming and we do try to serve more of it.

The Fine Print

I observe FTC guidelines and will tell you I was compensated with my own gift card. I will also tell you the contest is open to people residing in the U.S.

Furthermore, while I liked this sandwich it is not my favorite food item on the Subway menu. I tend to lean towards a good Steak and Cheese or one of the egg breakfast sandwiches.

Go on now. Leave a comment and enter the contest. Winner to be picked on Friday.

A Reading Comprehension Experiment

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I Want To Die
It was more than a little shocking to hear those words spoken aloud.

“I want to die.”

The pregnant pause afterwards confirmed that they were completely flabbergasted. No one had expected to hear that and the lack of protestation confirmed that they didn’t believe in the speaker’s sincerity.

Because you know that if they had taken it seriously there would have been an immediate response, they would have followed up on it, tried to ascertain what the problem was and how they could help.

At least that seems to be the obvious expectation, friends don’t sit there while you declare your readiness to end your corporeal existence. And if they do, well either you are a drama queen or you need to get new friends.

A cry for help is a cry for help. Silence is not the answer, but then again maybe it is. After all they say that people who are truly intent on committing suicide don’t really spell it out, they do it. They act upon their desires.

And the desire to kill one self can be far more powerful than anyone cares to admit or believe. When you don’t have a concrete reason to believe that there is anything after this it makes it much easier to see death as being a respite from the pain, a well-earned vacation.

“I want to die.”

It is one thing to think it, but once you verbalize it, actually speak the words it takes on new meaning. It becomes more real and you find yourself considering the various methods you can use to commit the deed.

Having a morbid sense of humor it is easy to see what the police would call it:

Homicide against yourself

C’mon now, you know that it is worth a chuckle. Ok, maybe not, but life is lacking, you’re not exactly burning up the fun meter. Sadness, depression, frustration and anger are different, you own those feelings, and you just know that somewhere there is a dictionary with your picture in it.

For a time there are the thoughts about what your loss would do to the family and the world. Suicide may not be as painless as advertised. You think about how the wife and kids will fare and wonder if your parents will feel responsible. It is almost enough to keep you from trying to pull the trigger. It is almost enough to prevent you from making that first cut, but the blistering pain and the empty, hollow feeling push those thoughts out of your head.

Now all you really want to do is find an escape from the madness. It doesn’t matter whether you are truly mentally ill or something else. The pain and misery make you spend much of the day doubled over, wishing you were comatose.

The light of the sun isn’t a pleasure, it is torture. Laughter and smiles from others torture your soul further. Your anger is fueled by seeing how others are happy and knowing that you can’t share in their happiness.

So the moment comes when you start to entertain the idea of letting go. You play around with ways and means, consider what your note will say, if anything. You can’t really explain it, so you don’t bother to do much.

A simple note that says “Elvis has left the building” will suffice. Or maybe it should read “will the last person to leave remember to turn out the lights.”

End of story; fade to black and utter silence.

+++++

Suicide is supposed to be painless and maybe if I believed it to be true I might consider it more seriously, but I don’t.

I don’t really want to die but I don’t have too many options. The man on the other end of that call isn’t going to let me stick around. I don’t care what promises he makes or whose life he swears upon.

He is lying and I know better.

I know it because I used to be him. The guys he works for are the same men I used to report to and they won’t ever forget what happened or let anyone else think I got over on them.

This can only go one of two ways and no matter how it goes death wins. That old bag of bones is going to get his quart of blood and then some.

It is just a matter of time before they force me out in the open or before I decide to take action.

All I can do is weigh the pros and cons and try to decide what gives me the best chance of making it out.

This isn’t like the movies. I won’t be able to go in guns blazing and kill all the bad guys. I can’t call my old army buddy, the one who managed to stay out of trouble and just so happens to a colonel who can call in an air strike.

All I can do is make them bleed and hope it is enough to make them go away. I suggested as much on the telephone and the new guy laughed.

Can’t say I was surprised because I would have laughed too. It is part posturing and part reality. One against a 100 isn’t ever something that works in real life, especially when they are willing to use your family against you.

I have seen hard men go soft. Unless they are a true sociopath they always give in.

The guys I used to work for learned from the Taliban. Make a man cook his kid and eat them and they will do what you want.

Sick and gruesome doesn’t describe it.

+++++

Sometimes death is preferable to facing this sort of decision, but I am too stubborn and maybe too stupid.

I called him back and told him I was coming to visit and then the doorbell rang.

They were here.

(Editor’s note: This is a work of fiction I wrote. It appears on my fiction blog and is called “I Want To Die. I am very curious to see how many people read all the way through. Those of you who are long time readers are aware that it is not unusual to find fiction here.

It is usually marked as such, but I often find comments and emails from people who miss the part where it says fiction. So I am curious today to see who notices and who doesn’t.)

Barry Manilow Could Be A Blogger

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English: Barry Manilow live at the Xcel Energy...
English: Barry Manilow live at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, MN on January 11, 2008. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Somewhere out there in the ether is a woman I used to date whose jaw has dropped because she know hell has frozen over, except she doesn’t know why.

If she read the blog it would be obvious to her, I mentioned Barry Manilow in a positive context. I didn’t make fun of him or suggest it would be less painful to have  root canal without anesthesia.

So why did I say that Barry could be a blogger?

It is not because he writes the songs that make the whole world sing, its because the man is a storyteller and that I have the utmost respect for. The best bloggers are storytellers who know how to make the words on a page dance for them.

There is a reason why I wrote two posts about that. It is because master storytellers know how to weave a tale that does more than hold a reader/listener’s attention. It makes them sit up straight, take notice and respond to a call to action.

That is My Goal

I want to be that guy. I want to tell a story that you can’t stop reading/listening to. I want you to respond to my tales the way the crowd responds to Springsteen in this video.

Do you feel the power that comes through it all. Some of it is because Bruce has natural charisma and some of it is because his songs tell a story. They capture and captivate. They make you feel joy and they make you feel pain.

When you can do that you have lightning in a bottle.

There Is a Method To the Madness

Someone asked me to explain my theory on blogging and social media. They wanted to know why I operate the way I do and if it is successful.

My response is that it is successful. I could suggest you read You Don’t Need A Niche To Be A Successful Blogger or that you take advantage of the content in Twenty-Five Links That Will Make You A Better Writer/Blogger because that information is gold.

And I could tell you that bloggers who want to be successful have to walk the fine line of self promotion and that I am trying to do it now, but that would be putting the cart before the horse.

Why?

If we are talking about what makes a blog successful we have to start by identifying and setting goals for a blog/blogger. If you don’t have goals you can’t develop a plan of action to take you from point A to point Z. Without that information you are like a driver who is wandering the freeway with a general idea of how to get to the store but no real sense of what exit to take.

Figure out why you are doing this and you can pick up a road map that will help you find your way.

That is part of why I cover so many different topics. It is part of why I mix fiction in with business. The only way to become a better writer is to practice writing and part of my process is to not lock myself into one topic or genre.

Read about Georgie, check out the Beginning of The End, Plenty of Time or Building a Future and you will see many of the same commenters. That is because a community has been formed there and community is what drives social media.

People are tribal. People are communal creatures. My goal is to build connections and build community.

Can you see dad in center field.

I don’t know how many people will really read this post. It is chock full of layers and that is how I like to write, but we live in a time of instant gratification and short attention spans.

People love lists like 5 Reasons Why I Hate Your “Epic” Content and I kind of enjoy writing them. I kind of enjoy ranting and raving but there are lots of times where all I want to do is write letters to my children and talk about kicking drunk clowns out of birthday parties.

Most of all I like to Just Write because that is how I work on my craft and practice becoming a better storyteller. And maybe if I put some time in and god smiles upon me this post will be picked up by more than the people in my Triberr tribes and we’ll find out just how much magic is left in the night.