The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

People

Goodbye John Wooden

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John Wooden was someone that I looked up to. I never had the privilege of being one of his players. I wasn’t old enough or good enough to have played for him in college. Nor did I get the opportunity to attend one of this basketball camps, although I know many who did.

But I did have a number of regular encounters with Coach Wooden. When I was in junior high I used to see him almost daily. You see he used to jog past my bus stop each day. Upon occasion he would stop and talk to us. It was never for very long and I can’t say that I really remember anything he said. In part it is because I didn’t really appreciate just how special that was. But what stuck with me was the fact that this man who is considered to be a legend took the time to talk to a bunch of kids.

And in the years since I have read his books, watched some of his videos (such as the one below) and studied his Pyramid of Success. I appreciate them all because they are sensible and offer life lessons that can be applied at any time. Thank you Coach Wooden, you made a real difference.

We Live In A Bubble

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Call me The Boy In The Bubble. For god only knows how long I have been ensconced in my own world. I am not talking about the dream world I escape to when I am writing Fragments of Fiction but the real world. The real world in which I occupy a thousand different roles as father, son, husband, friend, cousin and wannabe maverick.  (Thank you Sarah Palin for helping to make that word a little less fun  to use.)

Anyway, in my world the responsibilities rotate throughout the day. About ten minutes ago I was called upon to play dad and was forced to let the dark haired beauty do my hair and makeup. Her brother was none too happy watching me become beautiful so when it was done I grabbed him in a bear hug and rolled around the floor with him.

And then I retreated to the bedroom. Alone, I sit on my bed and type this post. A set of earphones are plugged in so that I can listen to the music of my choice. It helps me to concentrate and focus upon my work and tonight I have a substantial amount. I am not quite ready to begin, so this serves as a way to decompress and clear my head.

A short while ago I read Jessica Gottlieb’s This Is Mommy Blogging and shook my head. It is a sad story about the death of a homeless man. A man who bled to death on a public sidewalk and died alone and uncared for. Just one more senseless death that came about because we all live in a bubble.

We live busy and important lives. I don’t say that sarcastically or with any sort of snark. Everyday we scurry about and work hard to take care of the things that are important in our worlds. Parents know all about this. How many hours do mothers and fathers spend on things that are related to our childrens’ welfare.

And sadly if you live in a big city it is highly likely that you have grown accustomed to the presence of homeless people all around you. You pass them on the road, outside the supermarket and all around the places you go. Sometimes you acknowledge them and grant them the gift of a friendly smile or food/money. Other times you shun them, you fear that they are mentally imbalanced and potentially dangerous so you try to stay away.

Either way it doesn’t matter because the reality is that most of us have learned to walk around, step over or pass by with complete indifference. We are living in the bubble.

I like to think that I do a good job of popping the bubble for myself and for the kids. I like to think that I do a good job of opening their eyes and teaching them to value what they have. I like to think that they appreciate their good fortune and understand that we give back because it is the right thing to do.

But sometimes I wonder. Yesterday I realized that if I let my son play his DS in the car he misses the world outside the window. Sights of magic, mystery and the mundane pass by without any sort of cognition. He is already secure in the bubble that we call a Honda Odyssey, the DS just takes him further away. Am I doing him a favor by letting him play or am I helping him to tune out faster and sooner.

I wonder.

And is it fair for me to ask these questions when I am just a larger version of him. Stick me on a plane or any sort of public transportation and I take out the iPod or a newspaper. As an avowed people watcher I won’t hide in the bubble the whole time, but…

The People We Miss

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I often complain about the holiday season. I wished death upon the Easter Bunny and Santa. Some of that is serious and some of that is nonsense.
This morning as I bounced around the blogosphere I stumbled onto a bunch of posts in which people reflected on life and some of the loved ones that they miss. It really made me think about some things that are going on now and the people that I care about because there are a few whose absence I really notice.
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Some people play too big a role in our lives for us not to miss them. They come into our lives and they change things, or maybe things change. I am not alway quite sure how that works.
I am not talking about the obvious ones. This isn’t about parents or siblings. It is understood that they play a huge role. Rather I am thinking about the unexpected impact that others can have upon you.
I am thinking about the people who enter your life and whose presence fills up empty places that you never knew or didn’t realize were empty. The people who make you feel whole and joyful. Those folks whose presence just makes your body and soul tingle in ways that aren’t based upon lust alone.
Sometimes you read these sorts of posts and you shake your head because you don’t really believe that such a thing can happen. You think that it is an exaggeration or something else. Maybe to some it is, but others know differently.
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I have heard people talk about people coming into your life for a reason or a season, or something along those lines. I don’t know if I believe that. Not sure that I believe in destiny or that I don’t believe in it. What I do know is solely based upon my experience.
There are people who come into your life through unexpected means who hold a place that is significant in your heart. And since you never know what can happen you need to take advantage of that time for however long it is because you’d miss them if they were gone.
I like to visualize it all as a journey.Blame it on an overactive imagination and having read Tolkien too many times. But I almost always picture myself riding/walking through some amazing land. Sometimes it is a forest or meadow, other times it is a beach or desert.
Along the way I encounter many different people. Some are friends and some are foes. Some become companions that join me on my journey and we share adventures. Sometimes you lose those companions or sometimes you part ways for a while and rejoin each other at a later date.
Don’t ask me to get more descriptive of who I see myself as. Definitely not Gandalf, Sam or Frodo. Not Boromir or Legolas or Aragorn. I am just me, some guy who finds himself in all sorts of places and predicaments. Sometimes they turn out incredibly well and others not so well.
All I know is that Some people play too big a role in our lives for us not to miss them. I know who I miss and so do they.
Who do you miss?

Scenes From A Car

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I am a person who loves to watch people. Yep, that is me, a peoplewatcher. I just find it interesting to sit back and watch what people do. In restaurants I find it especially interesting to watch couples who are clearly on a date and see what happens.

Sometimes it can be a lot of fun to create dialogue for them, to offer a running commentary. OTOH, sometimes my creative juices are nonexistent and I can’t think of anything funny to say.

Another aspect of peoplewatching is the fun that you can have while driving. If you spend enough time on the road you see so many different things. Here is an incomplete list of things that I have seen at one time or another:

  • Woman applying makeup- Always makes me feel good to know that if they rear-end me they will end up with the mascara brush in the eye or pushed so far up their left nostril it is likely to become a permanent fixture.
  • Men Shaving- Actually I once saw a guy using a blade and no shaving cream. Ouch! What are you thinking.
  • The ubiquitous nosepicker- Both men and women. You may be alone in your car but you are most definitely not alone on the road.
  • The ubiquitous cellphone talker- They are everywhere and there is not enough to be said about them that hasn’t already been said.
  • Oral Sex- Yep, I have seen more than one man with a large smile on his face and one hand on the wheel. Again this is one of those situations where I smile when I think about what will happen if the jerkoff (wrong word to use) smacks into my car.
  • Fast Food Fanatic- I don’t know if fanatic is the right word, but I like the alliteration. This is the guy or girl who cannot stop stuffing that leaky taco or drippy burger into their mouth.
  • The Entertainer- Thus named for those people who sing and dance to the radio. It can be especially fun to watch them bebop around blissfully unaware that someone is filming them so that they can be uploaded onto the net.

Ok, this list could be more interesting and there are most definitely some screwy things that I haven’t listed but this is primetime and there are children reading this blog.

A Bad Case Of Blog Envy/Jealousy

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I recently received an anonymous email that accused me of having a bad case of blog envy. It seems that they think that I must be very bitter that I don’t have more readers and that the brands haven’t bequeathed their bounty upon me.

It was kind of fun to read. Been a while since I got anything that resembled hate mail at least something that didn’t go off onto some antisemitic or anti-Israel rant. One of my favorites was the email that went on about Palin the Prophet. I responded to them that they mean to write Profit, but I never did hear back from them. Darn.

Anyway, back to my new friend the anonymous emailer. In my younger years I would have shared your email with all 17 of the longtime readers and the few stragglers that come along for the ride. But the kinder, gentler, er, dumber Jack accidentally deleted it and emptied the trash so we’ll have to do without for now.

Here is my response to your comments. I don’t spend any time courting the brands. I don’t pitch PR agencies about my blog. Don’t spend any time talking to them about how influential my blog is. And I don’t lose any sleep over that.

I don’t feel an ounce of remorse for writing that some of the bloggers who are currently considered to be popular and or powerful would not be without gifts to give away. Their content is weak and their community is dependent upon the gifts they give.

This joint has moments of brilliance and moments of mediocrity. Over time it has developed a respectable following. I won’t deny that I think it would be great to have six times as many uniques and ten times the number of comments. It would be great.

But I want to earn that. I don’t want to by popularity. We’re not the Yankees. We don’t use our enormous payroll to buy championships. We earn them.

Anyway, I appreciate your note and hope that you stick around for a while. Leave me a comment or two- show some love ‘cuz a bitter old guy like me can use it. 😉

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Did She Die?

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Barefoot Dancers

Sometimes I despise the sterility of email. The cold and unfeeling manner of text sent via electronics. You can be a master wordsmith and still fail miserably in your attempt to fill your words with warmth, caring and love.

I was on Facebook and I noticed that a friend had posted a photo album in memory of a sibling. As you might have guessed I am not especially close with this person. We are friendly and connected on Facebook because we did. The reason doesn’t really matter.

Anyway, many years ago I was friendly with their sibling but we lost touch. It must be 15 years or so since we last spoke. I was more than a little surprised to see this photo album. It didn’t offer any explanation about what happened, but it is hard to believe that someone would write in memory of about someone who is alive.

When I saw it I was shocked. They were my age and I was quite anxious to find out what happened. I don’t have a telephone number for my friend on Facebook and didn’t want to email them just to ask for it. We don’t have any mutual friends that I can contact to ask what happened.

I tried running a search but didn’t locate any information. But I couldn’t just ignore it. So I sent an email and asked what happened. I tried hard to write something appropriate, but I am not sure that such words exist.

It was far more tactful than the headline of this post. And now I find myself wondering what the answer to the question is. What happened and how. It throws me a bit. It is Elul, won’t be long before it is time to chant Unataneh Tokef.

So many questions.