“Still every night I burnEvery night I scream your nameEvery night I burnEvery night the dream’s the sameEvery night I burnWaiting for my only friendEvery night I burnWaiting for the world to end”
Burn– The Cure
I feel like one of those ghosts that take you back in time has grabbed me and pulled me into something I left more than a decade ago and asked me to revisit it.
Read My Stairway to Heaven and knew I would have to go read the other links included in that post. Can feel shackles around my hands and feet and echoes of the future and the past.
Got something that resembles rage beginning to fire up inside my belly as I work on deciphering what I see, feel and hear.
It is not clear yet whether it will actually materialize as such or if I will find myself shaking my head because I’ll recognize I misunderstood something. or not.
****
Flipping through old pieces from Fragments of fiction like the two below I try to reconcile what was and what is
1) And now years later he discovered to his chagrin that some flames are never completely extinguished. The real question was whether to try and quench the flames or follow the path that his heart was constructing for him.
and this
2) I had a dream. I dreamt of a place that I had never been to but always wanted to live in. You were there and your arms welcomed me to a place that until then had always lived inside me. You unlocked the passion and the fire that burns inside me.
You helped me to remember that love is meant to sting, that to be apart is to feel an ache that no drug can touch and to be together is to know the meaning of union.
You are my drug of choice, an addiction that I cannot give up. My air and my blood, the wind that fills my sails and were I to lose you I would be forced to revisit that dark place that I used to live in. I would be hollow inside, an empty shell and who knows what might choose to occupy that place.
I knew the day that we kissed that life was going to be different. Few people understand because so few have had the experience and even then few walk that path. When you walk through fire you risk being burned but you also open yourself up to untold rewards.
When just holding hands brings incredible pleasure, when whispers and caresses offer the height of joy and passion there is something special.
When I kissed you I felt your legs go weak and I held you tightly but I was not concerned because my arms were made for holding you tight and feeling your heart beat against mine gives me all the strength that I require.
I had a dream that became reality.
It is a peculiar feeling looking back and remembering where one was and what things once looked like. So I now I ask myself what to do and make of all this, do I trash or hold onto it.
Is it still meaningful, useful and or significant. Is there any importance in it. Given the large changes that are taking place now it might make more sense not to make any decisions for a bit.
