Today marks another year of riding the earth around the sun.
Some call it birthday number 46 and others refer to it as the entry into the 47th year but me, well I just smile and say I am not dead yet.
They ask what that means and because I am in a peculiar sort of mood I respond with a non-answer.
Maybe this peculiarity is to blame for why I book-ended this post with two quotes from Emerson.
These are thoughts and ideas I believe in, stuff I try to pass along to my children because there is merit in making these into part of our core.
There is a value that you can use for our entire lives in these ideas and that is the sort of work smarter and not harder philosophy I like to incorporate.
Blogging For The Sake Of Writing
A while back someone told me we shouldn’t be blogging for the sake of writing, at least I think someone told me that.
It is possible they did not and what I think I heard was something I read. Have I mentioned that whenever I read post, article or book I always hear the voice of the author in my head.
Of course it is just what I imagine said voice to sound like, sometimes I discover it is nothing like I imagined it to be.
Kind of like life, it doesn’t always resemble what I imagined it to be.
Anyhoo I think the point of their comment was that every post should tell a story that the readers could follow and that you should never write anything that didn’t have a beginning, middle and an end.
My response to that sort of commentary is, “That is fucking stupid,” unless I am talking to my children or in a professional setting in which case I say I disagree.
The province of the writer in a blog isn’t to produce sterile garbage that neither moves nor motivates people.
And it is to share parts of pieces of ourselves so when I tell you that my current employment isn’t as a writer you will ask why that is because you know it is what I do.
Or maybe you’ll say Steiner isn’t the writer he thinks he is so not writing for a living isn’t a big deal.
And then I’ll tell you I don’t care if you or anyone else believes I should be because I do and my vote outranks all of yours.
I’ll tell you that I want my children to feel this sort of connection to something, this kind of passion and to have the gumption to go for it.
Enjoy The Journey/Work For The Prize
I need to start using that line in my conversations with my children.
They need to remember the importance of being present in the moment because you never know when something special, major and or important can happen.
If you aren’t awake you tend to miss those things.
And you/they need to remember if you are working in a position that isn’t feeding your heart and soothing your soul you can do something about it.
You can and you should.
Some of you won’t understand this.
Some of you will think I am exaggerating but part of the reason I am feeling crazed right now is because the support for my dream is being crushed and the position I am in is choking the air out of the fire that fuels it.
Bad things happen when you get bored with blogging but that is nothing compared to what happens to those who choose to tolerate the intolerable.
On my 46th birthday it is worth noting how some people have misunderstood my silence and work ethic to mean I have accepted situations I found intolerable.
When that has happened they have often been surprised by the eventual eruption that followed these moments.
Can’t tell you how long it took or provide any sort of benchmark to reply upon, all I can say is if I wasn’t given the opportunity and or freedom to make the changes I had to make things could get very ugly.
I don’t consider that to be any different from any other person.
What I see as important, significant, meaningful and distinct is the willingness to take action.
When you reach those moments you have the choice to allow them to crush you or to do something about it.
You don’t have to accept that as the end of the story. You can choose to take the next left or jump on or off a train.
It is about the journey.
Sometimes these posts are written as much for us as they are for the readers.
What Kind Of Writer Do You Want To Be?
It is late Friday night, well past midnight and somewhere into that place others call the witching hour when I wander into my teenager’s room.
“It is your birthday dad.”
“Yeah, it is. You need to get to sleep soon.”
“I will. What do you want to tell me?”
That leads into a short conversation about what this moment in time. He tells me about the end of middle school and I share a few thoughts about where my head is at.
He asks me about the job and I don’t say much other than it is fine for now but that I never forget I am a writer.
He asks me what kind of writer I want to be and I say I am the kind who writes because he has to. When he asks for further explanation I promise to do it during daylight hours.
Later I lie down in bed and realize I haven’t spent enough time here lately nor enough writing in general.
This has to change and it will.
Words are air and I am choking.