The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for August 2008

My Daughter & Dating

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During a recent conversation with my daughter she asked me why people call me different names. She may be only four, but she is a keen observer of the world around her. Here is a short recap. It is not quite verbatim, but it is close enough.

Daughter: Daddy, why do people call you different names?
Dad: What do you mean?

Daughter: Why do some people call you Jack and others call you Mr. Jack?
Dad: That is because we have different relationships with people. Some people know me better than others do, so they feel more comfortable using a more familiar name.

Daughter: Ok.
Dad: We’re teaching you how to do this too. You’ll call some of the people you know by their name and others will be a more formal version, like Mrs. Loren or Mr. Saltzman.

Daughter: But how will I know who to do this with.
Dad: Mom and I will help you figure it out. Don’t worry about it, we’ll help you teach your friends what to call us too.

Daughter: What should my friends call you?
Dad: Well, if they’re boys they can call me “Death.”

Daughter: Death? Daddy, your name isn’t death.
Dad: Just wait a few years and you’ll understand.

Daughter: But why should the boys call you “Death.”
Dad: Well, I suppose that I can come up with another name.

Daughter: Like what?
Dad: Hmm? How about “Their worst nightmare.” Or maybe “Mr. Castration.”

Daughter: (Giggling) You’re so silly.
Dad: I am not silly, I just love you.

Daughter: I love you too daddy.
Dad: Good, now come give your dad a hug.

Songs for Friday

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Maybe I am Amazed– Paul McCartney
Can’t Get it Out of My Head– Electric Light Orchestra
Hold on Tight– Electric Light Orchestra
God Only Knows – The Beach Boys
Annie´s Song– John Denver
Have you ever seen the rain?– Creedence Clearwater Revival
“Ain’t no Mountain High Enough“-MARVIN GAYE & TAMMI TERRELL
National Anthem– Marvin Gaye
Thank You-SLY & THE FAMILY STONE
The Letter 1981 Live– Joe Cocker
“Have A Little Faith”-Joe Cocker
Sex Machine– James Brown
Wicked Garden-Stone Temple Pilots
Thunderstruck-AC/DC
Hero of the Day -Metallica

Living The Bachelor Life

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Thanks to the joys of having to make a buck earlier this week the family left sans dad for a short vacation and so I have found myself in an empty house.

While it would be untrue to say that I don’t miss them, it is also true that I rather enjoy the break. For a brief moment in time I am revisiting the Jack of years past. Alone and apart I eat quiet meals without any concern about having to set an example.

No company, no reason to use real plates. Paper works just fine. No company, no reason for glasses. I can drink straight from the bottle and I do. In fact the kitchen has a display of the victims of a recent visit to Trader Joes and other guests.

Watching The Olympics is far more fun with pizza and beer. The newspaper is scattered in key places. I have watched movies that are inappropriate for children during hours that they would normally be awake.

Trips to the gym last longer. No reason to rush because my dinner companions me, myself and I don’t need to take a bath before bed. In fact they don’t need to eat at a particular hour. I revel in casting off some of the structure of daily life.

Let’s be clear about a few things. I still take out the trash, there may be an extra pile of things here and there, but it is not a complete mess. Each night I make a point of straightening up a bit, but without the children I can let things slide a bit.

For a short while I mull over taking my own road trip. It is crazy, but I haven’t dropped everything to drive out to Vegas in more than a decade. I can’t really do it now, or should I say that I shouldn’t do it now. But it is tempting.

My Camaro knew that road pretty well, I could almost put it on autopilot. The current steed has made the trip as well, but far less frequently. I have very few single friends now, but those that are will jump at the chance to go.

I don’t need much, a change of clothes and a toothbrush is about it. I am really tempted, but it would be hard to explain how I worked a partial day to go to Vegas instead of joining the family.

Hmmm….I wonder if I could schedule a meeting with a client or two. That could work and then again the whole plan might blow up in my face.

Excuse me while I go ponder this for a while.

It is 2 AM

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Actually it is after 2 AM and I should have made it to bed hours ago. Why, oh dear lord why I am awake on a work night. In years past the explanation was simple. I was coming home from a night out with the boys, a date or just enjoying the cool air of the evening.

Tonight is different. Tonight I find myself awake because of a number of different issues. Tonight I find myself awake because of five separate challenges. They aren’t quite the same as those that were faced by Hercules, although at times I felt like I was fighting the Hydra.

And I should add that I did take a short unscheduled nap on the couch. But again my dreams were fitful and disturbing, so I woke up in a bit of a foul mood.

But since I found myself awake I decided to tackle some of the crap that I have been forced to deal with. I began by attacking a few of the technological issues that have been foisted upon me. I won’t bore you with all of the details, suffice it to say that there is an old computer and a new computer in this house. I hadn’t intended on acquiring a new computer yet, but sometimes you do what you have to do.

Speaking of doing what you have to do, I had a conversation with a dear friend about life. He told me that he feels like he is stuck, or trapped I should say in a situation that is untenable. To be clear, my description is intentionally vague.

Anyway, this discussion seems to be one that my friends and I are having a lot lately. Some of it is related to age. Most of us have children and have been married for a number of years. That combination drives a number of challenges that manifest themselves into an exceptional amount of stress.

Some of us rise above the stress and some of us are overwhelmed by it. There will be a followup post to this later on, but let’s hit one theme.

If you find yourself floating through life you need to figure out how to improve things. I don’t want to live a life that is based solely upon my ability to endure. There is more to life than enduring.

I don’t expect it to be roses and sunshine everyday, but I don’t expect it to be gloom and doom either. I don’t like change, never have, but I fear stagnation more than I fear change.

It is a guarantee that life will change, roll with it or it rolls over you.

More to come when I am awake. Hopefully I won’t feel like a truck ran over me.

Haveil Havalim & The JBlogger Conference

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Many of you know that I was supposed to attend the Nefesh B’Nefesh International Jewish Bloggers Conference in Jerusalem. Unfortunately due to circumstances beyond my control I was forced to back out at the last minute, and I do mean the last minute.

Much has been written about the conference. Jewlicious has a roundup of the roundup that is worth taking a look at. I may provide my own feedback in a separate post, but for now I’d like to focus on a few comments made by Rabbi Gil Student of the Hirhurim blog.

I don’t have a clear transcript so this is going off of what was seen in the feed, which means it may be off a bit.

The good rabbi said that he does not like Haveil Havalim because he is uncomfortable with some of what is presented within. Presumably he doesn’t want to appear to be endorsing positions that he disagrees with

For those who are unfamiliar, Haveil Havalim is the Jewish/Israeli Blog carnival. It is a weekly roundup of posts from the Jewish/Israeli Blogosphere. I am the administrator for said carnival, having taken over the post from the founder Soccer Dad. You can find recent examples of Haveil Havalim by clicking here.

That is not entirely unreasonable. One shouldn’t be forced to pretend to agree with positions that he/she finds disagreeable, especially if you are looking at issues that are not classified as being benign.

So you might ask what the official position is for submissions to Haveil Havalim. That is simple. If it is anti-semitic or anti-Israel it is banned. The hosts have latitude to ban submissions that fall into these categories and frankly can bounce other posts that they find to be offensive.

However I strongly encourage them to construct a carnival that is not limited solely to their own perspective. Legitimate criticism of Israel is welcome also welcome, provided that it is legitimate.

While I respect Rav Student’s belief, I have a problem with his boycott. Maybe it is because I am a believer in the Marketplace of Ideas or maybe it is because I have long enjoyed challenging my own. But I think that it is a mistake on his part to do this.

If your beliefs are strong and based upon logical and rational thought then they should hold up to being challenged. They shouldn’t just crumble because you see/hear an opposing view. Much as I hate to admit this, I learned long ago that I am not always right. I am wrong more often than I’d like to admit.

The second part of my disagreement with him is based upon his assertion that we are not part of a community. I disagree. We’re part of the JBlogosphere, we are all Jews. Now I won’t get into a discussion about Halacha or how we should act as Jews. That is a separate discussion that will never end.

I suppose that one could try and define the Jblogosphere a bit. We could spend more time trying to determine what you have to blog about to be a member. Maybe it is as simple as saying that if you sometimes blog about being Jewish and or Israel you’re part of it.

I don’t know, have to think about it.

But if you’ll forgive me for sounding like a fearmonger, this I am sure of. The people who hate Jews will not distinguish between those who are Torah observant and those who aren’t. It doesn’t matter if you are an FFB who fell off of the derech, a BT, a ger, Conservative, Reform, whatever. Jewish blood is Jewish blood and those who hate us do not discriminate based upon how we think of ourselves.