Archives for June 2013

My inclination is to start this journey with a few words about the wisdom of stirring the pot but before I do I think my friend Mr. Twain has some words to share:

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
– “Adam’s Diary”

Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.
– Notebook, 1903; Mark Twain, a Biography

More than one person has accused me of being a scoundrel, a rogue and or worse. I haven’t always chosen to acknowledge or respond to these descriptions, sometimes because I knew my mood was dark and my inclination was to leave scorched earth and sometimes because it wasn’t worth it.

Other times it was because I knew with complete certainty that my silence frustrated them more than my words could and that was enough to move me to remain placid in their presence.

Some have accused me of being foolish for not caring enough about the feelings of others to worry about my words and deeds. Others have praised it and said they wish they could choose a similar path but that is not something I ever advocate because it is more important to be you than me.

The Arrogance Of Man

The arrogance of man might suggest that we act as we do because we know that our way is better than another.  I don’t necessarily disagree with that, at least not in its entirety. I don’t believe in moral equivalency and that every belief is equal in value because it was created by man.

Look at the behavior in the last post and you’ll see examples of behavior that is reprehensible and is definitely not something that should be promoted. Granted the advocates of those who follow those lines of thought might disagree, but they would be wrong. 😉

All of which leads me to a thought about some events from today and life in general.

Stirring The Pot

I was part of a group discussion earlier today in which someone asked if I had made a comment to be an asshole or because I wanted to be a troll.

The purpose wasn’t to be an asshole or a troll. It was to stir the pot and generate discussion about some things that I found irritating. It would be fair to suggest my words weren’t carefully chosen and that some people might react strongly.

I won’t take time to try and spin that. Even though I didn’t mention anyone by name I can see how some people would be offended but I am not going to apologize for their hurt feelings any more than I will refrain from trying to spin what happened.

Sometimes when you want people to think about why they think a certain way or adhere to certain ideals you have to do more than just ask.  Sometimes you have to push hard enough to get their attention and hold it.

What Happens When Someone Else Tries To Take The Spoon

Midway through the general merriment a newcomer to the discussion tried to take the spoon from my hands but they did so in a passive-aggressive fashion. They made comments that were clearly directed at me but didn’t call me by name.

Some years ago I would have welcomed their attention and responded with the written form of a mailed fist. I would be lying if I said I didn’t consider it but I chose not to because I didn’t see what would be gained from doing so.

It seemed smarter to wait and see if this individual really wanted to engage me. Poke the bear with a stick and eventually he will come out of the cave with malicious intent.

But things settled down and he refrained from continuing so I have remained silent.

Ultimately my focus isn’t to engage in the sort of written hijinks that I enjoyed when I was younger but to see if my pot stirring leads to any change or at least insight. I thought the discussion that resulted was pretty good and though I haven’t changed my mind I did hear some compelling reasons why I should and that alone is beneficial so I am grateful for it.

Zach Rosenberg has no idea that I am writing a post called the Zach Rosenberg campaign.  I am not being compensated for writing this post nor do I expect any thing in return here.

I know, that sounds like a back handed way of asking for something but you’ll have to take my assurance as one of the Top 25 sexiest dad bloggers that I am doing this for altruistic reasons.

You see Zach was attacked last April by some cretins who took his words and tried to twist them so they would fit some perverted image. They went out of their way to trash him and unfairly tarnished his reputation.

So today I decided to help fight back.

Link Juice

I am dedicating some link juice here to help defend the honor of a fellow dad blogger. Not everyone can pull off a pink robe, but he does it masterfully.

The bastards that went after him haven’t realized yet they just might have woken the sleeping giant known as the dad blogging community. People fear angry mommy bloggers but there is a reason you grew up hearing wait until your father gets home.

You never want to rouse us manly men from our slumber because we are a force to be reckoned with, especially when we are hungry, horny and irritated. And as many women can tell you two out of three of those things are our natural state.

So this is post is being written for the sole purpose of pushing those other links down.

What Happens Next?

Well I would promise you 8×10 glossies of Zach in his pink robe and guest spot on an 8 Bit Dad video but I can’t offer that because I don’t run those things. But I can tell you that I think he is a good guy and that the treatment he received was wrong.

It is not like he is a fake dad blogger who spends his time fabricating stories about what he claims to have done. Nor has he tried to abuse America by claiming the sox, the celtics and the pats are teams worthy of praise.

And that my friends is all I have to say about this.

There is no good reason for me to be back at the computer writing now, no reason for me to burn the midnight oil except I am compelled to write. The difference between those who dream about their lives and those who live their dreams is one of action.

I am listening to the Stones sing Gimme Shelter and thinking about a million different things, wondering if I am pissed off that a song I love has become so commercialized but still finding myself dancing my seat so maybe it doesn’t matter.

Because the thing is I am working on being like Barry, writing the songs that make the whole world sing except my words are read and not sung.

The simple goal is to figure out how to craft compelling content that creates a community and a desire to communicate with others. It is the desire to recreate the feeling you get at a concert that makes you want to get up and dance. That moment where you lose yourself in the moment and the music.

In sex it is that time where you can’t figure out where you start and your partner ends. In a book it is that time where you wish you could step inside the book and talk to the characters or that wish to call the author and tell them you have to talk to them about their words.

That is what I hope to create, the feeling, the vibe, the moment, the mood and the community.

Go To Sleep Jack

Really this isn’t doesn’t have to be written or shared now. Ask the experts and they’ll tell you to always provide content that is sharable, wearable, smellable and all sorts of other ‘ables too.

They’ll tell you not to use the crazy headlines or to be as bad about responding to comments and engaging with others as I have been. They’ll tell you that you shouldn’t be negative and that the original headline about how I want to write a headline that offends everyone is dangerous because sometimes the edge isn’t funny.

And maybe it is isn’t. Maybe I shouldn’t write about sexual conquests or suggest that a restaurant called Fellatio Fred’s Farm House would be very successful.

But some of this comes out because I use this joint as a virtual sandbox and because I vent and let off steam here.

I don’t mind screwing around a bit because sometimes the really obnoxious and stupid sounding ideas turn out to be golden. You never know which post is going to blow up and go viral.

Some of the best stuff I have written is never read nor appreciated and some of the worst is lauded as amazing.

Who knows how it all works.

Got five more minutes to ramble, babble and share these last few thoughts. Love Bruce. Couldn’t decide whether just to feature I’m On Fire or to include Tunnel of Love. Thought about Streets of Philadelphia and shook my head.

Been thinking about my uncle, dad’s little brother and how much he has missed. Been thinking about how he died when he was only a few years older than I am now and how bizarre that feels to me now.

Wonder what life would have been like for him now. He was gay and I didn’t care, loved him just the same.

Miss him sometimes because he is a connection to a past and part of the family that has changed dramatically. He is gone and so is my grandfather and my other uncle. The men on that side have been whittled down to my dad, me and my son.

His being gay is really immaterial, what I wonder about sometimes where the similarities between my grandfather, dad him and of course, me.

What is genetic? What sort of habits are learned?

I was almost 25 when he died so somethings I know because I had begun to ask these questions and others are just lost forever.

One More Reminder

It is one more reminder to me to live now, to live today and to be present. It is fun to look at the past and think about the future but today is what I have got for certain. So I think about it all and figure out how to make it all fit together.

I think about the stories and creating and think of my uncle and wonder about it from a different perspective. He was a jeweler so he was a creator as I am and I wonder what sort of creative process he went through.

And then I look at the clock and remember that pushing harder is only part of success, working smarter is important too and if you are too tired to see clearly it is time to say goodnight.