Archives for May 2014

If Abraham Lincoln were a dad blogger I might ask him to write a guest post about how to deal with bullying, making hard decisions and how to be a better father.

I might tell him about how some children are messing with my son and how it makes me think of the truck scene from Man of Steel and how I wish that I could tell my son that he just has to hide his abilities from people.

But since he is not Superman I’d probably ask old Honest Abe for his advice because when you mess with my kids I want to turn in Liam Neeson’s character in Taken.

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I dont have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for peope like you. If you let my daughter go now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.” Taken

Memories Come Back To Visit

I didn’t tell my son how angry I was when he told me about the kids who are messing with him. I didn’t tell him about how the stories made me remember the kids who messed with me and that I know from personal experience Some Wounds Take Longer To Heal.

When he spoke I maintained a poker face but storms had begun to rage inside my head because I remember how it felt.

I made a point to listen and when he asked for my advice I gave him some suggestions. I gave him some real tools for dealing with it and said sometimes people suck.

“If you can ignore it they will find someone else or if you can take control of the name and make it seem like you enjoy it they will stop calling you that.”

“Dad, if I do that they will laugh and try harder to get to me.”

I nodded my head, “yeah, but you have to keep it up one minute longer. If you turn it into a game in your head you can beat them.”

“I am not you. I can’t just laugh it off or pretend I don’t hear. I can’t tell them I’ll kick their ass because I’ll get kicked out of school. I can’t believe they don’t respect me.”

“Mister, you  didn’t know me when I was 13. You didn’t know me at 14 or 15. I wasn’t always like this. I learned how to manage these moments and you are going to figure it out too.”

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

If I told him I want’ed to ask Mr. Lincoln for advice my son would give me a funny look but he doesn’t have the same life experience and doesn’t understand the more things change, the more they stay the same.

My gut feeling is if my son can hang in there for a few more days summer break will come and things will die down. I know him well enough to know he’ll wonder if people will remember over summer but I won’t let him worry about that because it is too far away.

Or at least I’ll do my best to get him to just let go of that concern and deal with it if and when it happens in the Fall.

But in the interim we’ll sit down and I’ll talk to him some more about my experiences and I’ll see if that helps make him feel better. He doesn’t know that I really did smack some of the people who came after me and that is ok because I don’t want him to go there.

Times are different, back then you didn’t get expelled for fighting or sued. It worked out for me but it is not good solution.

I want him to figure out a solution that works for him that doesn’t involve dissolving the Union and I am confident he will. I just hope it happens before the end of the school year.

 

The first time we went cliff diving I made the mistake of looking down before I jumped so instead of launching myself into space I worried about what might happen if I didn’t develop wings, the water below dried up or if a strong wind suddenly blew me off course.

It frustrated me so the next time I made a point to climb, take two steps and leap. I can assure you all went well and that I have the full use of all of my limbs.

I can also assure you that I have done many other dumb brave things in my life and that when I call myself The Greatest Dad Blogger Of Them All it is a mix of SEO, tongue-in-cheek and narishkeit.

Cliff Diving and Big Decisions

Ask those who know me best and they will tell you that I have a plan for many different situations. They’ll tell you I am confident that I could beat a gorilla, rhino, elephant and great white shark in combat.

Don’t ask when you’d see that sort of combination or how the shark would work with his teammates just submit and accept I have a plan and it will work.

Those aforementioned Steiner experts might tell you that I can tell a tale under any circumstances and any situation but that they often pop up when I am feeling some stress.

My current stress is related to trying to figure out how to find the best school for my children. My thought is to move us back to Texas because I can provide a better life for us there.

I love Los Angeles but the cost of living has made it very challenging to live as I wish and so Texas seems to be a suitable option. I lived there for a good long while and have a feel for things. I like it and I can see us there.

However the area I know best is not where I think I want us to live so the question is what part of town should I focus on and how do I identify the best schools for them?

Once I know that it is easier to look for housing, note I said easier because the truth is I have been looking. I figure there is no harm in starting earlier.

It feels a lot like cliff diving to me. I am standing on the edge of the rock trying to make certain I make a perfect decision and not taking action with the knowledge that I am not operating blindly.

It’s a travesty that I wasn’t invited to be the master wedding planner for Kim and Kayne’s wedding. #KimyeWedding

— George RR Martin (@RealGRRM) May 24, 2014

George RR Martin is one of my favorite authors and it was with great pleasure that I started watching Game of Thrones on HBO. I felt relatively confident they would be true to the books and that I wouldn’t be one of those people who went nuts if they adjusted the story.

One of the many reasons I like him is because his stories are complex and he is not afraid to mess with a hero. He is not afraid to go after main characters and do nasty things to them.

Life can be like that. The hero doesn’t always win, unless we are talking about me in one of my Mitty moments.

The Arrogance of Parents

Sometimes I listen to parents talk about how they are sending their kid to the best public/private school and I roll my eyes because it is hard to listen to them talk about how the school is going to ensure that little Johnny becomes successful.

Or alternatively to listen to them tell me how an inferior different school means Johnny will fail because ultimately so much depends upon the child.

We can give them tools and resources but they have to be willing to use them. They have to be willing to take advantage of them.

So I look at my kids and think about how resourceful they can be, especially when pushed and wonder if I am spending too much time standing on that cliff looking down.

There will be plenty of time to think about these things later. The Dread Pirate Roberts is about to set sail and time for school talk is done. Argggh!