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The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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Archives for May 2015

Should You Hump On Hump Day?

May 12, 2015 by Jack Steiner 2 Comments

m3ciumofkay-kiran-valipa

I like to believe I was captured by pirates and sold to slavers in the land of “Holy fuck, IhatebeingthisbusybecauseIcan’tseestraight.”

And I like to believe the boat you see in the picture above is going to be the one I use when I make my escape.

Heck I like to think that picture is from when I land on the island where the wild things are because if you give me the chance I can be like Max.

I can be the king of the wild things and I throw a really good wild rumpus.

Signs & Serendipity

I hate to say I wasn’t really captured by pirates but if I was I would hope to be like the Man In Black and to have stalwart companions like Inigo Montoya and Fezzik.

Then I could decide whether I wanted to engage in a classic battle of wits or sheer power but since none of that is real I shall have to tell you about signs and serendipity.

In the midst of the work day in which I am running like crazy from place to place I stumbled across three cars with Texas license plates.

You could call it coincidence and say it is not unusual in the City of Angels to see such a thing or you could say I was looking at the sky asking for a guardian angel to give me a sign or better yet, to drop a bag of a five or six million bucks where I could find it.

Instead of the cash I got the sign after which I promptly thanked the aforementioned angel and resubmitted my request for a significant influx in cash.

Remember, if you don’t ask you don’t get or something like that.

*****

Speaking of which I came across a post called And The Rockets’ Red Glare and remembered what happened when my children asked me not to sell our house and their reaction when I said it was already done.

That was painful and even though it was the right thing to do I hated doing it because it wasn’t on my terms, not even close.

But that is part of the fun of life, sometimes you plan to go left and it makes you go right.

The funny thing about this new job is how a small change in attitude and perspective could make it all easier for me.

It is so very similar to what I used to do. It is a bit like putting on an old pair of jeans and a ratty old t-shirt

It is a bit like putting on an old pair of jeans and a ratty old t-shirt.

If you don’t look in the mirror or stop to think about how it feels you don’t notice the tattered edges of the shirt or realize those jeans are grinding into your skin in a most undelightful way.

Sometimes that is the moment where you realize if you just dropped a couple of pounds and or did this, that and the other thing those jeans would be comfortable again.

The question is whether you are motivated to try to drop those extra pounds or if the idea of doing so is abhorrent because you recognize you are not doing it for yourself.

I don’t expect my children will ever ask me if you should hump on hump day and if they did I am sure they don’t want to hear me shout YES!

But if we were to discuss it I would tell them the past three weeks have reminded me of the importance of taking time to connect with those we care about in a way that doesn’t involve, beep, bells and whistles.

And I’d tell them I am concerned about the lack of face-to-face communication. It makes me wonder what impact the move to electronic communication will have on serendipity.
m0l5j8lqnzo-david-mao

This is a work of fiction based upon a prompt from the Studio Thirty Crew. I am posting it here and there. The prompt is based upon the word Serendipity

Serendipity  Luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for.

There is a very large bruise on my left arm. It is not camouflaged with makeup or masked by my shirt but open and available for viewing by all who stumble upon it. I mention this because it is kind of psychedelic looking and when I think of serendipity I think of the sixties.

I am almost a child of the sixties but not quite. Born just prior to the moon landing and Woodstock I am able to say that I saw the very last part of that decade but truth is that I don’t remember it from life experience but from pictures.

The seventies are a different story. I remember them quite well. The movies, the music, sights and sounds all are encased in that cavernous hall between my ears. Echoes of the past and hints of the future swirl back and forth in a timeless dance.

But even though I remember those days well the memories are those of a child. I remember wanting to be The Fonz and wondering if being in high school meant having to be a Sweathog. It was cool to tell my friends “up your nose with a rubber hose” or to say that they looked like Horshack.

It was a bit weird to see Vinnie Barbarino dancing in Saturday Night Fever but then again we still ran around yelling Dy-No-Mite like J.J. Walker so what did we know.

VANS were cool to wear but I never did own a pair. They didn’t make them in sizes that I could fit into. The pizza joints we used to hit all had sawdust on the floor and many had Pong. Pong was great as was Space Invaders.

In between and intermixed with this are memories of the Bicentennial, America turned 200 years old. We talked about it a lot during school and boy did we get excited when we got one of those Bicentennial quarters- they were cool.

It was a different world, a different time and a different place. I loved it when daylight savings time began. Never worried about a lost hour of sleep because I was too busy celebrating the extra hours of daylight that my friends and I had for playing after school. It just meant more time to ride our bikes or play baseball.

I never thought for one moment somewhere in the middle of the country there was a little girl with long dark hair, sparkling eyes and an electric smile. You can blame it on my being too young to be interested in girls or my being lost in my own world. You can blame it on either of those things or none of them. The reason why doesn’t really matter. What matters is what happened later on. What matters is what came later.

I suppose that it would be nice to pepper this post with pictures and music. It would add color and depth to it. But sometimes the silence and the intent to include imagination do more for a story. Sometimes the words that tell you about the smiling girl who loved numbers and the boy who loved words set a scene on their own.

Sometimes the silence sends its own smile and that is enough. What I know for certain is that I never expected to meet my best friend on a message board. I never expected to find her reading about GI problems.

It is not as romantic as stumbling into each other in a snowstorm or on a beach. It doesn’t hold the same excitement as my stopping a mugger from stealing a big black purse.  To be fair she might be more excited by my solving the Goldbach Conjecture or by providing Proof that 10 is a solitary number.

And that is ok with me because the connection that was created that day way back when started with our minds. All we had were words. There were no pictures to look at. We didn’t spot each other across a crowded room; meet in a bar or anything like that.

We didn’t have to worry about bad hair or bad outfits. Our words created a world and built a foundation that was far deeper and much stronger.

Sounds like Serendipity to me.

(originally published here.)

Filed Under: Children

The Art Of Writing

May 11, 2015 by Jack Steiner 6 Comments

evolution
While My Guitar Gently Weeps- The Beatles
Maybe I’m Amazed-Wings/Paul McCartney
Band On The Run-Wings/Paul McCartney
Norwegian Wood- The Beatles
You Got To Hide Your Love Away- The Beatles
Layla- Derek & The Dominos
Turn The Page- Bob Seger

The boy whose hands will one day be mirror images of mine asks me to explain how writing is like art so that he can be prepared for high school.

I just shake my head and tell him there are things coming down the pike that won’t make sense for a good long while but one day he’ll look back and see how the ripples of the pond he stands in now reach the future.

He tells me it sounds like gibberish and I laugh, “it does and sometimes it is.”

I tell him about how sometimes people look for symbolism that doesn’t exist and insert ideas an author never meant or intended into their work after it is published.

“But that is not right, how can people be so arrogant to believe they know what the author was thinking.

“We want to believe people are logical and they act based upon reason but they rarely do. They act as they will and see as they wish to. People sometimes leave comments about what I have written and I am baffled by their interpretation.”

Show Me Your Veins

We’re interrupted by the call to dinner and I forget to tell him about how Show Me Your Veins showed up in my stats today and how that story still makes me smile.

I wrote it six years ago when I was more of a typical dad blogger than I am today.

When the kids were little I had greater ownership of the stories I shared and no fear that my words might cause issues for them at school or elsewhere.

Back then I had forgotten that words were supposed to be the tools I used to earn my living and so I walked a different path.

Now I look back upon the man I was as a guy who had gotten lost in the forest and wandered in shadow because he didn’t understand how much brighter life could be if he found his way back to the path.

Today I wandered off of the path intentionally because a father has responsibilities and obligations but instead of pebbles I am building a rock garden behind me because I need to ensure the path back won’t be hidden because birds eat the bread crumbs I dropped behind me.

Still I am extra cognizant of the people who don’t support my desire to return to the light because they see that path as being covered in shade.

The question is will they allow their eyes to be opened or will they remain oblivious to the truth and unaware that cross purposes here are the equivalent of crushing a dream.

The Art Of Writing

A better artist than I would express these sentiments more eloquently but I am not yet him, although I strive to be.

I tell the children daily the trick to becoming better is to do more than say you are going to practice. Action begets improvement and that only comes from practice.

There are words that I share with them verbally and those I share by action.

The Lonely Blogger
A five state commute is punctuated by many things but the primary one is the empty desert and the things you use to fill the time as you pass through.

If you don’t get lost between empty and desolate you discover a rich landscape you had no idea existed because until that point your eyes had been closed.

It is not as hard to find as some people suggest. You don’t have to ask Charon to ferry you across the River Styx or be able to do quantum physics.

You just have to be willing to look beyond your nose and to be open to possibility.

The real art of writing is to take a skeleton and dress it in a couple of rags and have your readers believe it to be the most magnificent and meaningful piece they have ever laid their eyes upon.

It happens because somewhere in your words you convinced them to allow possibility to become opportunity and their imagination does the rest.

Is It Gibberish?

We spend a few minutes after dinner talking again about what happens in high school and whether he is prepared.

I tell him he will be fine and explain life experience has a huge impact upon the impact of words and stories.

He asks me if people ever tell me they hate my writing and I laugh because it has happened many times. Some people love me and some people hate me but relatively few are ambivalent.

“Do people hate your stories because they are gibberish?”

“Maybe. Sometimes it is because they relate too well and the pain is too fresh and sometimes it is because they can’t relate at all.”

“Dad, is there a trick I can use to become better?”

I give him a few ideas and when he asks me for my favorite I pull his head next to mine and whisper, “Learn when to say ‘fuck em’ and when not to.”

When he pulls his head back there is a mischievous look in his eyes and I wonder if my advice will bite me in the ass later on or not.

But tonight I am not worried about it.

Tonight I am thinking about how to get back to the path and wondering how many adventures I’ll have in the process.

More story fodder is on its way, no doubt about it.

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Filed Under: Children, Life

There Are Headlines No One Reads

May 11, 2015 by Jack Steiner 16 Comments

dream by day

There are headlines no one reads because they get lost in the chaos and clutter of the blogosphere and life.

That is the kind of declarative statement some people take issue with because they miss the forest for the trees. They look at it and say something about how people read it and moved on because it had a weak call to action. That may be true but it doesn

They look at it and say something about how people read it and moved on because it had a weak call to action. That may be true but it doesn’t negate the truth about its lack of visibility.

What you see and don’t remember might as well have not been written/created because if it doesn’t move you it doesn’t work.

I didn’t use it today because I want to talk about headlines but because I thought it would be read and shared by more people than “What Kind of Father Hides From His Dreams.”

Or maybe it would be better to say something like “What Happens When You Get What You Want?”

That is really where my head is at.

One Slip & It is Over

My cousin died last week.

Three days before my 46th birthday and about six months before his 48th.

It was an accident.

I don’t have many details to share but even if I did I probably wouldn’t. I am too busy thinking about…stuff.

For a while he was like the older brother I never had. He was a wild child and trouble never had to find him because he found it.

He had a big heart and we had a lot of fun together.

And then comes the proverbial ‘but’ where I tell you I haven’t seen or talked to him in years. It wasn’t because we had a falling out or anything like that.

It is because he spent time working on fishing boats and assorted odd jobs that took him far away and life is busy.

The last time I saw him he invited me to come see him at his place in the Pacific Northwest. He told me you could only get there by Jeep or some other four wheel drive vehicle.

We would ride in ATVs or motorcycles and catch up, but obviously it never happened and now it can’t.

*****

My cousin’s death is a reminder to me about what kind of father and person I want to be. It is a not so gentle nudge to be an active participant in life who doesn’t wait until the perfect time comes to try to live my dreams.

For me the hardest part of living those dreams is trying to balance the wishes of my family against my personal ones.

It is trying to look through the mist that obscures the future to see if trying to rope the moon is going to help or hinder my children.

What Happens When You Get What You Want?

If you go way back in the archives here you’ll find posts I wrote about my dysfunctional digestive system.

Some of those are funny stories.

People love A Little Digestive Distress- Chicken Vindaloo and Jack’s Experience In the Ladies Room.

Most of the time I tend to laugh at them too but lately I haven’t laughed about them because since I started the new job almost every day has been filled with some rough moments that make it clear to me the old digestive system is not a fan of the new employment.

The old gut feeling doesn’t like this much and I don’t like the response of that old gut feeling.

There is no reason to feel sick each day and I am actively working on making a change to correct that.

But here is the rub, there is a part of me that is a bit nervous about it all. A part of me that says there is merit in dealing with the devil you know.

A part of me that says I should suck it up and stop whining because this is all ridiculous.

Except, it is not ridiculous. It is not necessary to feel this way and I refuse to do it any longer than I have to.

Active change is the only answer here.

It means that if what I hope for happens I need to ignore the fear of the unknown and walk through the door.

I need that for me as a person and I need it as a father because my children need to see that dad does more than what is required.

He works to make things better even when he can’t tell if he is holding a winning hand.

I can’t let being concerned about the inherent uncertainty of change prevent me from going forwards. Better to take the risk and find out than to spend the rest of my life living with the regret of not knowing.
dreampaint

Filed Under: Children, Life

Blogging For The Sake Of Writing

May 9, 2015 by Jack Steiner 14 Comments

lifejourney

Today marks another year of riding the earth around the sun.

Some call it birthday number 46 and others refer to it as the entry into the 47th year but me, well I just smile and say I am not dead yet.

They ask what that means and because I am in a peculiar sort of mood I respond with a non-answer.

Ambiguity lends itself to a variety of interpretations.

Maybe this peculiarity is to blame for why I book-ended this post with two quotes from Emerson.

These are thoughts and ideas I believe in, stuff I try to pass along to my children because there is merit in making these into part of our core.

There is a value that you can use for our entire lives in these ideas and that is the sort of work smarter and not harder philosophy I like to incorporate.

Blogging For The Sake Of Writing

A while back someone told me we shouldn’t be blogging for the sake of writing, at least I think someone told me that.

It is possible they did not and what I think I heard was something I read. Have I mentioned that whenever I read post, article or book I always hear the voice of the author in my head.

Of course it is just what I imagine said voice to sound like, sometimes I discover it is nothing like I imagined it to be.

Kind of like life, it doesn’t always resemble what I imagined it to be.

Anyhoo I think the point of their comment was that every post should tell a story that the readers could follow and that you should never write anything that didn’t have a beginning, middle and an end.

My response to that sort of commentary is, “That is fucking stupid,” unless I am talking to my children or in a professional setting in which case I say I disagree.

The province of the writer in a blog isn’t to produce sterile garbage that neither moves nor motivates people.

And it is to share parts of pieces of ourselves so when I tell you that my current employment isn’t as a writer you will ask why that is because you know it is what I do.

Or maybe you’ll say Steiner isn’t the writer he thinks he is so not writing for a living isn’t a big deal.

And then I’ll tell you I don’t care if you or anyone else believes I should be because I do and my vote outranks all of yours.

I’ll tell you that I want my children to feel this sort of connection to something, this kind of passion and to have the gumption to go for it.

Enjoy The Journey/Work For The Prize

I need to start using that line in my conversations with my children.

They need to remember the importance of being present in the moment because you never know when something special, major and or important can happen.

If you aren’t awake you tend to miss those things.

And you/they need to remember if you are working in a position that isn’t feeding your heart and soothing your soul you can do something about it.

You can and you should.

Some of you won’t understand this.

Some of you will think I am exaggerating but part of the reason I am feeling crazed right now is because the support for my dream is being crushed and the position I am in is choking the air out of the fire that fuels it.

Bad things happen when you get bored with blogging but that is nothing compared to what happens to those who choose to tolerate the intolerable.

******

On my 46th birthday it is worth noting how some people have misunderstood my silence and work ethic to mean I have accepted situations I found intolerable.

When that has happened they have often been surprised by the eventual eruption that followed these moments.

Can’t tell you how long it took or provide any sort of benchmark to reply upon, all I can say is if I wasn’t given the opportunity and or freedom to make the changes I had to make things could get very ugly.

I don’t consider that to be any different from any other person.

What I see as important, significant, meaningful and distinct is the willingness to take action.

When you reach those moments you have the choice to allow them to crush you or to do something about it.

You don’t have to accept that as the end of the story. You can choose to take the next left or jump on or off a train.

It is about the journey.

Sometimes these posts are written as much for us as they are for the readers.

What Kind Of Writer Do You Want To Be?

It is late Friday night, well past midnight and somewhere into that place others call the witching hour when I wander into my teenager’s room.

“It is your birthday dad.”

“Yeah, it is. You need to get to sleep soon.”

“I will. What do you want to tell me?”

That leads into a short conversation about what this moment in time. He tells me about the end of middle school and I share a few thoughts about where my head is at.

He asks me about the job and I don’t say much other than it is fine for now but that I never forget I am a writer.

He asks me what kind of writer I want to be and I say I am the kind who writes because he has to. When he asks for further explanation I promise to do it during daylight hours.

Later I lie down in bed and realize I haven’t spent enough time here lately nor enough writing in general.

This has to change and it will.

Words are air and I am choking.

workforprize

Filed Under: Children, Writing

The Sexual Antics of Eunuchs, Monks & Communists

May 9, 2015 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Ask me if I believe in signs and whether things are meant to be and I’ll tell you I am an agnostic.

Engage me and I’ll tell you for a long time I didn’t and that I didn’t believe what I couldn’t taste, touch, hold, feel or measure.

The how and why I came to be an agnostic don’t really matter because I am not interested in trying to convince you to believe as I do.

We don’t need to agree for me to be comfortable with this nor do I need for you to tell you accept what I say as gospel because I don’t operate off of a need for validation.

Of course it is nice to have and I wouldn’t complain if the world spent time asking what it could do to make Jack Steiner happy.

It would be a nice change but I am not sure that I would enjoy it all that much.

That is not because I enjoy being a curmudgeon too much to give it up but because I appreciate the motivation of needing to work and the satisfaction that comes from taking a project from start to finish.

The Sexual Antics of Eunuchs, Monks & Communists

Don’t ask me to explain the headline here because it is not supposed to mean much of anything.

It is just tied into the slide show as another way for me to acknowledge how unsettling and crazy this time of my life is.

And it is there because I am curious to see what sort of traffic it drives if any. Curious to see if people engage with it and or spend time reading through the archives here

Saturday May 9 Update

I started writing this two or three days ago and just stopped. Wasn’t happy with how it was progressing and didn’t have time to tweak it so I just stopped where I was and moved on.

Stared at it for about five minutes, if that, and decided I want to post it as is.

Why?

Gut feeling, nothing more than that.

I’ll post something else in a bit, something that may or may not be better.

Ambiguity lends itself to a variety of interpretations.

Came up with that line a few minutes ago and decided I like it.

Sometimes writing is about chasing smoke on the water to try and figure out what the source of it is.

Filed Under: Narishkeit

Tools For Increasing Engagement

May 8, 2015 by Jack Steiner 11 Comments

2qm47li0w1c-nicolai-berntsen

I am jammed for time so this is going to be a hit and run post. If things work as I hope you should see a media player below containing a very short podcast that touches upon Postmatic and the blog as well as me promising to provide a written update here ASAP.

I don’t know if the media will work within the Postmatic emails that the subscribers here receive so the only way to listen might be by coming to the blog.

I understand if you don’t make it over for that but I do have a favor to ask. I am interested in hearing from you regarding the content here and whether you have a preference regarding the topics covered.

If you do, I’d love for you to share it within the comments.

Thanks, and I’ll see you here later on today when I stop running.

listen to ‘Tools For Increasing Engagement’ on audioBoom

P.S. If you want to learn more aboutPostmatic you can check out It Is What Every Blogger Wants.

P.P.S. I am proud of Life Is About Painting A Picture and How Do You Catch A Dragon? Feel free to check those out too.

Filed Under: Audio Blogging

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