The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Triberr

How I Became A Serial Killer- Or The Headline You Hate

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Jews praying in the Synagogue on Yom Kippur. (...
Jews praying in the Synagogue on Yom Kippur. (1878 painting by Maurycy Gottlieb) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Technically it is the day after Yom Kippur, or the Jewish Day of Atonement, but in reality it is only a handful of hours since I broke my fast.

It wasn’t the most spiritually fulfilling of days for me. I have had other “Yom Kippurs” in which I felt moved, refreshed, rejuvenated and recharged.

But that didn’t happen today. Didn’t happen for a bunch of reasons and now I feel disconnected. Or maybe I felt disconnected before and that is why I didn’t get as much out of the day.

People Don’t Pay Attention To Headlines

Do people pay attention to headlines. I am not really asking the question. I am just sharing a few, random thoughts that are floating around inside my head.

I suppose it is because I have blogged about building community and talked about whether comments are currency. I suppose it is because I have been thinking about my definition of what success is and have wondered if it would change me as a blogger.

If I captured lightning in a bottle would I spend more time trying to keep it locked up in a jar. Would success make me feel freer than I feel now or would it place invisible fetters upon my body.

Sometimes I think it might create the sort of shackles I don’t want, but then again I have a hard time truly picturing that. I suppose it is because I do as I will here.

I don’t spend much time working on headlines because I don’t want to spend my time there. It is not where I want to focus my energy.

That has an impact upon my traffic. I wish that it didn’t, but I am fairly certain it does. If I spent more time there I could probably help bring more people through the doors.

Yet I don’t want to because I want to play with many words and not just a few.

Chagall's Parents
Chagall’s Parents (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am a writer but I wish that I could paint. Marc Chagall is one of my favorite artists. I look at the painting above these words and see a million different stories and ask a million different questions.

When I look at the painting it makes my heart hurt and sing. Part of what I love about being a writer is the ability to use words to paint a picture. Much of the time I use words and hope they make you feel something.

Up until now I haven’t discovered a hidden ability to paint, although I suspect I could do a decent impression of Jackson Pollock, but I don’t want to be him. I want to be me.

I Am The Reason Why My Headlines Are As They Are

I am the reason why my headlines are as they are. Old Jack writes them for you and not for the search engines. I write them quickly and hope that you will take the time to read the words that lie below and that the content will captivate you.

Does this make me a lazy blogger. Does this mean I am shooting myself in the foot and sabotaging my effort to be successful, whatever that may mean.

Maybe.

Maybe my refusal to focus on one topic hurts me. Maybe I would be nominated to be the best dad blogger if I did nothing but focus on writing about my children and what it means to be a father.

If my son/daughter wrote these words you have read and asked me to share my opinion I might quiz them about the headlines. I might ask them why they don’t spend more time there when they clearly have the ability to write.

And if they were me they might respond by saying it is because they are irritated about the constant chirping from the ten thousand experts in social media. Maybe they would talk about why they hate the term content marketing and how some bloggers have gone nuts when I have shared that.

Bob Dylan- Wedding Song

You might wonder what Dylan is doing here and how he fits. That answer isn’t blowing in the wind. It is simple, the man is an extraordinary writer. I could share a dozen different songs but right now I am having too much fun with the Wedding Song.

These lyrics paint a picture and I see stories in them. I wish I could do what he does, but I haven’t found that skill just yet. But I have more hope here than I do of becoming that painter.

In the end it doesn’t matter because who I want to be is me. I know who that is today but tomorrow is yet to be defined. I’ll leave you with a few lines to ponder.

“You turn the tide on me each day and teach my eyes to see
Just being next to you is a natural thing for me
And I could never let you go, no matter what goes on
‘Cause I love you more than ever now that the past is gone.”

 It is almost 2 am and the dawn breaks here far too soon. See you on the other side.

You Are The Biggest Liar In Social Media

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Did I ever tell you about the time I got arrested at a blogging convention for punching twenty seven different people?

Blame it on my bad temper. I saw a group of people wearing shirts that said “I am A Really Big Deal on The Internet” and went mad with jealousy. Yep, I was struck blind by both their wit and biting sarcasm.

But what really set me off was the person who referred themselves as being the most humble blogger they knew and the smartest. They climbed on top of a trashcan and lectured the rest of us on how to become aterrificblogger like themselves and I just lost it.

It is embarrassing, but I couldn’t take it. They were standing on  trash inside this trashcan and the smell didn’t even make them blink. It was amazing and I just knew that someone that could stand in trash could cover themselves in shit and never be bothered by the stench that came with it.

This is a skill that I longed to master for years. Really, can you imagine how much value there is in mastering the secret message behind the story of the emperor who wore no clothes.

Jack Is Old And Cranky

Jack is old and cranky and tired of the bullshit that some people peddle, but not so tired that I need to speak in the third person about myself. I am tired of continuing to stumble onto posts where some know-it-all tries to convince everyone else they know more about blogging and social media than anyone else.

It is not because those people don’t exist it is because those that do don’t spend their time fertilizing the blogosphere with self righteous garbage about how the blogosphere would be better and people would be more successful if they would only blog like the self proclaimed master does.

This kind of crap irks me because it is not true. There is no single, uniform path to internet success and unless I see your books I am unlike to believe all that you say.

It is not because I am smarter than anyone else but because I have been around long enough to have seen a few things and learn a few tricks. Anyone can say anything online and some of the people that hang out here with us are bald faced liars who claim success they haven’t seen.

I could pepper this blog with ads from companies you have all heard of and many of you would assume that means I am generating quite a bit of income from those ads. But their appearance here doesn’t mean that is true.

What You See and What You Know

You don’t know what arrangements we have or don’t have. You don’t know if our financial arrangements are based upon CPMs, Cost-Per-Lead, Cost-Per-Acquisition, Flat rate sponsorship or some other hybrid model.

Hell, you don’t know if I have arranged to run these ads for free in the hopes that others will be impressed by what they see.

If you don’t check references you don’t know if the testimonials you see on sites are real and even then you probably won’t know many of the details. You can’t accept everything at face value nor should you always assume that people are lying. Not everyone does.

But that doesn’t negate our responsibility to question what we read. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ask ourselves if what we are reading makes sense or if something feels hinky.

When you get that funny feeling that something isn’t right you shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions. You don’t have to phrase it in a way that sounds like you are accusing the writer of stretching the truth. It is almost always better not to start conversations by making people defensive and or by insulting them.

Related Commentary/Links

Yeah, I know, I seem to have a bunch of posts that relate to this, but I have 9,500 others you can choose from if you don’t like these. I even threw in a few others just because…

  1. Bloggers Are Narcissists
  2. Jesus Hates Tim Tebow & 17 Other Reasons Why Your Blog is a Failure
  3. How 3,000 Sycophants Made One Man A Better Blogger
  4. How 3,000 Sycophants Made One Man A Better Blogger Part 2
  5. The Best Way To Blog Is…Your Way
  6. The Biggest Challenge Most Bloggers Face

Or maybe I should just ask Can You Write a Funny Post? I wonder how many people will comment. This could be interesting.

And with that Jack is ready to leave the building. Just remember blogging is about having fun and I am having a ball. How about you?

What Is The Best Way To Get Attention

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Where dad sometimes hides out.

Something I ate hates me and I have spent the morning battling this bug. It has been a bare knuckles brawl in which I have emerged battered, bloodied and bruised, but I am still standing and the bug is becoming a memory.

This bug has bad timing. I had planned on accomplishing far more than I have and now it is clear that I am going to have to adjust my schedule. But if you believe that life is filled with signs and messages that don’t necessarily originate from people or electronic devices you might say someone or something has been trying to get my attention.

So, consider it gotten, my attention that is and now that you have it what are you going to do with it.

“There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I’ve loved them all”
In My Life- The Beatles

It is around noon on Friday afternoon now and I am listening to Johnny Cash perform a cover of In My Life and gathering my thoughts. I feel torn up right now and the last thing I want to do is work but there are moments in time where we suck it up and do what we have to do.

This post is my warm up for the writing that I have to do. This is where I stretch and loosen up so that I can put together the words that pay the bills because these aren’t them. Someone has been reading a post called The Most Valuable Possession and it makes me smile.

It has been a little more than a year since my last living grandparent died. He was my maternal grandfather and I miss him as I miss all of my grandparents.

Silence Isn’t Always Awkward

I was lucky to be very close with both of my grandfathers. They were very different men and yet quite similar in many ways.

Twenty years ago the three of us might have sat outside together and enjoyed the 100 degree weather. They would have told me about how Chicago was never like this in September and debated where the best place to get a hot dog was in the Chicago of their youth.

In between the commentary we would have shared a comfortable silence and one of them would have asked me to tell them about my life and what I wanted to do with it. They would have listened and asked more questions and peppered the conversation with stories and advice.

They may not be here but I feel their presence and I would like nothing more to update them on my life and to tell them about their great grandchildren. I wonder what they would think about these signs but I think I know.

Sometimes what I miss most is watching their faces while they watched my children. There must be something amazing to see your grandchildren grow up to become parents. But I am also sorry they aren’t here to see what is happening in my life because we are standing on the precipice of something big.

Risk Versus Reward

It would be cool to talk to them about how I figured a few things out and how some of the risks I have taken have slapped me silly but that some have paid off. It has been hard to do some of these things and I have paid for it.

I took the beating because I thought it was the right thing to do. I took the beating and kept standing because I had them in my corner and I knew it even when they weren’t around.

So I am sorry they aren’t around to see some of this. They would have taken such pleasure and it would have been so good to not just share these things but to thank them.

I kid around about being crazy and I have my moments, but my head is screwed on tight in large part because of them. My parents deserve much credit too.

The Wrong Question

When I ask what is the best way to get attention it is not really the right question to ask. The right question is once I have gotten it what should I do with it.  That is something I think about frequently but I am not sure how well it translates in these blog posts some of you read.

And now friends, the floor is open. What will you share in the comments?

Rhythm and Flow

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President of the United States Theodore Roosev...

Tonight I am writing with my usual musical accompaniment and the words of Theodore Roosevelt. I could write an entire post around any one of the three quotes below but tonight I am using all of them.

That’s because they tie into my day and into my life. These are words I carry in my heart as a father, friend, man and son.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Believe you can and you’re halfway there.
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.

Sixth grade is a hard year for many students. There is a big transition with the amount of work and the expectations that come with it and my son is carrying the load.

He amazes me with his composure and his work ethic. He is maturing right in front of us and I am seeing glimpses of the man he will one day become. We have a long road before that day, but I couldn’t be prouder.

The big guy isn’t perfect. He has his flaws and I am sorry to say that some of them come from me. I want nothing more than for him to only take on my good traits and none of my bad, but sometimes the sins of the father are visited upon the son.

Tonight I sent him to bed at 10 which is a solid hour beyond when I want him going to bed. He was up later because he missed school for the Jewish New Year and had work to make up.

Values, Hard Work and Dedication

He wanted to stay up to finish but I told him sleep was more important. He agreed and tomorrow he’ll do a little bit before school and finish the last couple of items during recess.

I want him to be a kid. I want him to enjoy school and am anxious to help him love learning. But there is a balance I am trying to strike of instilling values, hard work and dedication.

We talked about Teddy Roosevelt and how those 100 year old quotes are still relevant today.

I told him why they are important to me and how I thought they could help him. We talked about many other things including how there is a rhythm and flow to life.

Rhythm and Flow In Writing

There is a rhythm and flow to my writing that I rely upon. Rhythm and flow are what I hold onto because they are my support and my guide.

Rhythm and flow are where I find balance and meaning. I don’t know exactly how to describe it other than to say it reminds me of the high I get from exercise. It is the rush of adrenaline that accompanies the clinkety clank of the weights or the swish of a basket.

Sometimes I find my rhythm within the first key stroke and other moments it is harder to come by. But practice and effort bring it out more easily and it makes me smile because it is the writer’s high I feel.

I shared Georgie with you because that bastard is making things happen for me. I have written about him here before but during the past two weeks he has been garnering an awful lot of attention.

It is an odd place to be in to know that guy who tried to microwave his mother’s cat would be the source of that attention. Some people described him as being evil but that is too easy.

Georgie wasn’t bad because he didn’t know better, he was bad because he did and he didn’t care.

People always say that there is someone bigger and stronger and that was true of Georgie, but there wasn’t anyone meaner.

Music and Writing

I mentioned earlier that these words you are reading are being written while I listen to music but I didn’t tell you what has been playing. I figure I ought to share soe of what has my toes tapping so here you go:
  1. The Devil Went Down To Georgia– Charlie Daniel’s Band
  2. A Little Less Conversation– Elvis Presley
  3. Adagio for Strings
  4. Devil Inside-Inxs
  5. I Drove All Night– Roy Orbison
  6. Where the Streets Have No Name– U2
  7. The Fire Rises– The Dark Knight Rises
  8. Hate Me– Blue October
  9. Tin Pan Alley– Stevie Ray Vaughan
  10. No More Tears– Ozzie Osborne

The Best Is Yet To Come

Just before he fell asleep he asked me if high school was the best part of my life and I shook my head no. I had a great time in school, more fun in college and still more after.

I didn’t tell him that the years since have also included some of the hardest moments because that is a conversation for a different time. But I did tell him the best is yet to come because I believe that and that I want that for him too.

Aim higher. That is the goal, a little bit higher and a little bit farther.

This Will Not Inspire You

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The Road Not Taken

There is a rhythm to writing and the more you do it the easier it becomes.

Lately life has been getting in the way of my words so I have found few minutes and moments in which to sit down and share these words you read here.

In a perfect world I would be say that the time away has helped me to recharge my batteries but the fact is that this is not so. In some ways I am more distracted and it is harder to focus the way that I want to on these words that I wish to write.

These distractions are part of why I haven’t written my eBook yet and why I haven’t figured out whether I am going to move my newsletter from AWeber to Mailchimp or another email service.

But your buddy Jack isn’t just a daddy blogger who writes about bad blog posts or ways to get back at bad roommates.

I don’t know about you but that is one of my favorite songs. It is one I can relate to and there is a good chance that I might use it for inspiration to write one of my stories.

Music is a never ending source of inspiration for me. If you are among the 17 long time readers you know this. There is always a song playing inside my head and often one playing on the stereo next to me.

If you invite me to your home I will always be interested in seeing what books music you own. There is magic in music and it is the kind of magic that I want my children to experience.

And I suppose it is fair to say that magic is part of why I write and why I am interested in other things that create moments filled with magic.

Three Things I Want To Do To Make More Magic

  1. I want to take some time off to go to culinary school to become a chef.
  2. I want to take photography classes.
  3. I want to be paid to get back into shape.

We’re going to jump on number three because I know that is going to be like an ear worm that some of you can’t get out your head. I almost wrote that I want to have sex for 368.5 days straight but that would send some of you in a different direction than getting paid to get back into shape.

OTOH having sex like that might very well take care of getting back into shape, but let’s not get caught up in that.

Instead let’s focus. I am serious…focus.

A man is allowed to have some dreams and I think it would be very cool for someone to pay for me to get back into shape. That would be my job and it would come with a personal chef and trainer.

Sadly it is not a real likely prospect so I need to make a few adjustments which is part of why going to culinary school would be cool.

English: Culinary Work - School of Hotel Manag...
English: Culinary Work – School of Hotel Management, Vels University (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Most of you don’t know that I like cooking and that it is not unusual to find me at the stove making a meal. I can do more than barbecue and bake, but I am intrigued and interested in the idea of learning how to do much more than I know now.

I am a guy who uses the Braille method of cooking. Most of what I do is by touch and feel. Ok, sight is involved too and we are all grateful for that.

My family likes my cooking as do most people I have cooked for, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn more or become better. So why not do it.

I see a correlation between writing a story and cooking a meal. I like the idea of creating and they both have that in common.

Photography

I like taking photos and most of mine are alright intermixed with some pretty good, but again it could be better. Not only that these posts and stories that I tell would be so much stronger with the right artwork supporting them.

Not to mention that it ties in with my desire to create and tell stories.

Or maybe what I should be saying is that I see more possibilities that I want to turn into opportunities. Life is short and I am pushing harder than before to make mine into something offers many more magical moments.

I don’t need these things I mentioned to make magic and neither do you. Really all you need to do is open your eyes and be ready for them when they come, but I figure that even though I can make them happen without there is no reason not to try and include them.

I am Focused

It may not seem like it, but I am focused and actively working towards these things. What about you?

 

5 Reasons Why I Hate Your “Epic” Content

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Unfair

I’ll give you five reasons why I HATE YOUR EPIC CONTENT:

  1. It is not epic. It is not original, insightful, educational, recyclable or enjoyable. Not to mention that I am irked that people have overused epic and made it meaningless.
  2. You didn’t write your post with a person in mind. It sounds like SEO gobbledy gook and I want to tear my hair out and gouge my eyeball with a fork.
  3. Your call to action is to sign up for a newsletter that is going to try to sell me more useless nonsense. I don’t have time for this.
  4. There is no single way to do this right. Stop telling me that you have the sole key to social media success because you don’t and in six months you’ll be gone.
  5. You sell fear. You prey upon insecurity and worry. You are an emotional vampire and not the sort I want sucking on me.

Social Media Is About People

Technically I could have shortened that rant. It didn’t have to be a list of five line items. It would have been just as easy to make it a paragraph and to qualify that I am typing slow for some people but that is not how I roll.

The blogosphere has gotten to be exceptionally noisy and that has made people fight even harder to find ways to be heard. The thing is that many aren’t thinking about what they are doing or why. They are just out there pounding on their keyboards and screaming into cyberspace silly little slogans that might as well be “LOOK AT ME!”

You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to try to make every post a clone of those that are successful or work hard to try to be different. It is a big world and there is room for multiple voices and it is ok to say the same thing as everyone else as long as you say it in your voice and use your words.

Honda Versus Toyota

There is a reason why there are multiple brands successfully occupying the same space. Look at the auto companies and try to tell me what the material differences are between Honda Accords and Toyota Camrys. If you are comparing equivalent models the cars are quite similar.

If you write like a person and for people you will find your tribe. You will find people that prefer your voice and your way of talking/speaking/explaining and they will hang with you. If you treat them like people you will build a community and gain trust/loyalty.

What Are Your Goals?

What are your goals? Why are you here? What are you doing and what do you hope to achieve?

It is clear to me that some of you don’t have a clue and are just fumbling around. That is not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you run a personal blog and don’t care what people think. But if you are business blogger, well some of you are hurting your business.

But hey, what do I know I am just a dad blogger with a pen.