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"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

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The Difference Between Bloggers & Writers

December 3, 2015 by Jack Steiner

There are writers without blogs but no bloggers without writers or so someone once told me.

I must have scrunched up my face a bit when they said it because they immediately got defensive and told me I knew what they meant.

Sadly this mind reading ability they credited me with doesn’t work on other topics and in other areas because if it did I’d make use of it.

Hell, a fella could make a lot of money and do a lot of fun things with that kind of magic or so I imagine.

Can’t say for certain because I have never had the opportunity to try it out. Not entirely  sure that I’d want either, sometimes it is better not to hear and know certain things.

The Difference Between Bloggers & Writers

But if push comes to shove and you want more a more substantive answer I might dig into how a blogger has to produce content and make sure the blog works as it should.

Those of you who are long time readers have seen several theme changes here and are probably aware that every time I change something I have to fix something else to make sure the parts and pieces work together.

Ten thousand posts makes that a bigger job than you might realize because that touches upon links, SEO and more.

It means thinking about whether you should optimize old posts so that they work better under the current situation or leave them alone.

For example, my current theme uses a featured image at the top of each page. The posts that don’t have a featured image look a little bit naked  without that image.

Go back into the archives and you’ll find lots of those and lots that weren’t tagged or categorized, not to mention the tons of broken links.

When I started this back in 2004 it was a whole different ballgame and I didn’t think about organization, SEO, monetizing or any of the other crap that comes with this stuff.

Should We Delete/Modify Old Posts?

I often think about what to do with old posts. I wonder about whether I should delete some and or modify others.

I correct spelling or grammatical errors whenever I come across them, but I tend not to do much about trying to optimize old posts for SEO other than maybe adding meta data or a keyword to focus upon.

And of course I do my best to fix bad links as I find them.

As for deleting old posts, well I have gotten rid of a few that were embarrassing or so riddled with bad links they no longer made sense, but I tend to be very cautious with what I nuke and what I don’t.

Those old posts tell a story and they help provide benchmarks I can use to determine if I think my writing has improved and or is improving.
writing_poetryMy pal Mr. Frost and I share that bit about endings in common, I often have no idea where I am going to finish until I get there.

That is part of the fun in writing for me, I take joy in the journey. It is a giant puzzle that I put together piece by piece.

The more time I spend reading and writing the better I become and the easier it gets to put those pieces together or so I often say.

There are those moments where I wonder if the best I can do is spew out tired crap that would be better used to wrap fish in.

Sometimes the biggest challenge is to maintain perspective about the quality. That doesn’t just apply to whether we think our work can be improved but also to the stuff we think is great.

Home runs fall into foul territory from time to time and even the most graceful of us can trip and fall down a flight of stairs.

Ten thousand posts makes that a bigger job than you might realize because...Click To Tweet

And now dear reader let me share another thought with you that rumbles around the old percolator inside my skull.

What would happen if I walked away from the blog?

Would I be happier or more fulfilled by spending more time elsewhere? Would I be more productive?

Would anyone notice or care?

To Be Or Not To Be Noticed

I have said many times I write first for me and then for you. I have shared thoughts about how I would write regardless of whether anyone commented on my posts.

And I have.

Not every post has a comment. Some are orphans that have received no outward expression of love.

But I wonder how it would feel if I found out that I left the game and no one cared. It might hurt more than I like to think or imagine because as much as this is about practicing my skills and chronicling the lives of my family there is something more to it.

There is the dream that in some way this leads to a different sort of writing gig than the places and opportunities it has already taken me.

There is the brutal truth that would come with that knowledge that no one cared.

“Your words don’t resonate or move people. You can’t make them imagine places or people or feel something.

And if I can’t do that, well then I can’t expect to turn fantasy into reality.

A Father’s Truth

I try not to tell my children to do as I say and not as I do as much as possible.

This is one of those areas where it is important to me to show them the importance of not just talking about a dream but of taking action to move it from one place to another.

I’d rather try and fail than fail to try.

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Filed Under: Blogging, Children, Writing

A Good Writer Goes To War

November 12, 2015 by Jack Steiner

The Shmata Queen once looked at me and asked if I ever held still.

I laughed.

It is a fair question and one that has been my entire life. Sometimes I respond by telling people I have two speeds, glacial and warp, but most of the time I just smile and nod my head.

That’s because I have an imagination that never quits, more questions than a classroom full of toddlers and a need to find answers to all the hows and whys that come with it.

When things are really clicking it feels like energy radiates from me or at least it does to me, can’t say what it is like for others.

That is part of what drives me as a writer and why I have tested so many of the blogging tools and platforms out there.

Granted some of it comes from a love for gadgets and tools and some of it is a never-ending quest to find a better way to tell a story.

A Good Writer Goes To War

I haven’t decided if it would be smarter and more accurate to say a good writer goes to school because every day I attend the Steiner school of writing.

It is where I spend ridiculous amounts of time trying to learn how to become a better writer and a better storyteller.

One of the tools I once used in class was something called Posterous. It was a blogging platform that was particularly easy to use on mobile devices.

I really liked using it because it was ridiculously easy to post from my Blackberry.  I wrote a post called That Crazy Feeling using Posterous and my BB while sitting in a waiting room.

If you don’t want to click on the link you can read the story below:

I have that crazy feeling again. The whispers in the dark and the sense of something waiting for me in the dark is back.

Like an old friend I welcome doubt with a hug and a smile. Call it a front, a clever facade constructed by a man who wishes to pretend that things are other than they are.

The great contradiction of my life lies among the leaves I step upon. I hear them crunching beneath me and feel branches scrape against my body. I have walked through this forest so many times that I can’t help but to be surprised by the presence of things that I have never seen before.

I stop and stand in place, ears straining to pick up on the sounds around me. The forest is a place that guards its secrets well. Treasures and traps are hidden inside. Step carefully or risk waking the demons. Walk with purpose and strength so that those who already know of you recognize that you are not be trifled with.

Spinning slowly I try to determine if lack of awareness is to blame. Perhaps these things were always here and I never noticed. It is possible as is the possibility that these things have always been here.

The forest is constantly growing and changing. Evolution is part of its existence. I am forever amazed by this and touched by how light can impact my view of it.

In daylight it is always warm and inviting, but night time is different. At night the warmth changes and places that never see that sunlight take control.

Are the beings that roam nearby friendly or malevolent. Do they notice my presence? Can they feel the flame that burns inside or is it too slight and insignificant for them.

I am here because I have questions and doubts that must be addressed. I cannot ignore them any longer.

Awareness is a double edged sword. I cannot walk naked through the garden anymore. I am aware of all and the consequences that come with it.

But awareness means that I can revel in life and experience the sort of joy that makes a man weep with joy.

So here I stand, in the center of the forest. When the rage and frustration come I allow them to wash over me. I bathe in them and drink deeply from the cups they offer.

It provides me with protection and with strength but only at great cost. When it comes I do not sleep. For days I engage in battles I dare not lose.

No one can help me, no succor, no aid to be offered. No quarter is asked for and none is given.

Eventually exhaustion sets in and I am forced to lay down my arms. For a while I am too tired to sleep and then I do.

Beloved rest takes me in its arms and as I close my eyes the blackness takes me. I dream of things, of people and places. Blissfully unaware I slumber.

Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours. The days pass and I wake up refreshed and ready to resume my quest.

I am centered and focused again. The search for the answers has resumed. I know nothing and I know everything. My heart and soul are scarred but those are signs of life experience. I bear those symbols gladly because the life I wish to live demands nothing less.

It is better to reach fore that which lies just outside of my grasp than to settle for the fruit that has already fallen.

The end
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

A Good Writer Goes To War Continued

If you want to know more about why I say war it is because it is a constant fight to do more, be more and improve upon what I have done.

Some days are easier than others. Some days the words flow freely and others…less so.

But I never quit and I never stop. No retreat, no surrender.

Ask me what the goal is and I’ll tell you it is to improve. Ask me to provide you with something more specific, something tangible and I’ll say 98 Pulitzers and a handful of Nobels.

One of the things I love about this is that it is not like the sports I love to play. I am a better basketball, baseball and football player now than I have ever been,

But the tragic thing about that is I can’t really show you because my body isn’t what it once was. I can’t run or jump the way I used to.

That is because time has had its way and I am subject to the same laws of physics as you. My physical skills aren’t what they once were but my mental/emotional are a thousand times better.

Smarter and tougher, but it happened too late for me to make the kind of impact I would have liked to.

But that is not the case with writing. There are no limitations placed upon us because of age.

broken heart
Those words above resonate with me as a man and  a writer. There is a simple elegance to them.

That is the kind of writing I want for me and to be but with my own style and touch.

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Filed Under: Writing

There Is No Cure For Blogging

October 26, 2015 by Jack Steiner

thinkingforyouSomeone ought to ask me why there is no cure for blogging so I can tell them it is hard to answer something that isn’t really a question.

What the hell does “There Is No Cure For Blogging mean?

I like to think of it as being similar to modern art or some sort of Jackson Pollock painting.

You know, one of those pieces that is a bunch of dots, lines, squiggles and marks that have no discernible order or pattern to them. Not that it matters because even if it did you wouldn’t know what the hell to make of it.

Some expert calls it the most sensual and authoritative piece on post-modern sex and you think, WTF are they talking about.

So you squint and think that maybe the squiggle is penetrating or being penetrated by the dots and lines but don’t say anything out loud.

Partly because you’re afraid you’re wrong and the expert will think you are a fool and partly because it is so fucking stupid you can’t imagine you’re dumb enough to say you think you see some sort of sex act going on in the middle of the page/poster.

There Is No Cure For Blogging

Someone once asked me to describe my relationship with The Shmata Queen and I said, She Bit Me And I Screamed.

If you want to know what that particular line means you’ll have to click on the link and read it. Hell, if you want to know more about a lot of things you’ll need to read some of these links:

  • Just Hit It Harder
  • How Some Star Wars Fans Kill The Movies
  • The Memory Collector
  • Drunk on Blogging Or Intoxicated With Writing
  • It’s Not My Fault She’s Crazy & Hysterical

Don’t know what you’ll learn or find out but I am sure you’ll gain some more insight or at least some nugget of wisdom that is worth something.

Remember when I said I am looking at new themes that I think might offer a nice look, something fresh and engaging?

Well, I am playing around with this one. Not sure yet if I am going to do it, but I might.

Is it the look I want? Is it the one that is going to provide a better reading experience and more opportunity for storytelling?

I am not sure, but I think it might be. Sometimes the only way to figure something out is to try.

Pull The Thread

I realized earlier today it is about two years to the day since I left Texas.

Hard to believe two years went by, partly because part of it was the most hellish time I have been through and part of it was just really freaking fast.

Don’t know if this was something my subconscious realized or if I know it because Facebook happened to ping me with one of their memory posts but I do know the timing of it is/was funny.

Funny in the peculiar sense of the word because it is tied into this past Saturday night.

I was in the middle of car shopping and something set me off.

Ok, a few things set me off not the least of it was the dumber than rocks sales people who couldn’t answer any questions without the help of a dictionary and someone to pull the string that makes them speak.

Somewhere in the midst of it all I realized that almost every car I have ever purchased has been something that I accepted because it was what I could afford and wasn’t what I wanted.

And I got angry because I felt like I was being pushed to look at the same type of car, the same vanilla, sterile, and affordable crap from the past.

The anger rose quickly because I am not in a position where I have to look at those cars as being the sole or preferable choice.

Doesn’t mean I have a billion dollar surplus either, but there is enough in the cupboard to do better than that and I decided better was what I wanted.

I didn’t have to focus solely on need, I could look at want too.

And I didn’t figure it out until I pulled on the thread.

Truth is I didn’t have to pull on the thread to know that leaving Texas two years ago caused a world of turmoil for me.

Some of it might have come even if I hadn’t, but my gut says otherwise. Doesn’t really matter, can’t know unless you can go back in time in which case we need to make more than one stop.

you can go back in time in which case we need to make more than one stop.Click To Tweet

******

broken heart

I heard someone bash Nicholas Sparks the other day.

They had a host of reasons one of which is they said he shouldn’t have said anything about the leads in The Notebook being ordinary because they weren’t.

I don’t know much about his writing, fact is I saw this movie and aside from the quotes I have seen floating around  it is all I really know about him.

But I do know something else.

Ordinary people can do extraordinary things and that is far more likely to leave an imprint upon people because we relate best to the ordinary because they could be us and we could be them.

Hell, I relate to the quote above myself and maybe that is why I paid attention to the comment when most of the time I might have let it pass through one side of my head to the other.

The kind of love that Sparks is talking about is the kind of thing that leads to an ordinary moment becoming extraordinary.

That indescribable thing that makes just holding hands or listening to someone breathe special is what I am referring to.

If you haven’t ever had it you won’t get it, but if you have you’ll know that sometimes you share a moment where it feels like time has stopped and the two of you are in your own world.

And then it is gone, as fast and as unexpected as it came it leaves.

That is why you need to pay attention.

Fade To Black

Sometimes I wish I could end my post with the proverbial fade to black and some sort of meaningful music.

Something that would make you see or feel something that would stay with you after you finished reading these words and you’d think and wonder about things you don’t always think or wonder about.

There is no cure for blogging.

Filed Under: Blogging, Writing

Drunk on Blogging Or Intoxicated With Writing

October 19, 2015 by Jack Steiner

Bradburyonwriting
If I told you I am dying because I haven’t had as much time to write as I want you would probably say I am exaggerating.

And I would agree there is a certain amount of hyperbole involved in that, but I would say I am feeling pressure to sit down and let the words flow freely.

Don’t have time to do it now, just a few moments to post this thought and links to posts I am thinking about. Might write about them later, might not.

  • The Pressure To Blog
  • Why Your Post Sucks and Everyone Hates Your Blog
  • What is The Most Important Thing In Blogging?
  • Twenty-Five Links That Will Make You A Better Writer/Blogger
  • The Greatest Dad Blogger You Never Heard Of
  • Donuts
Stories that are never written might as well be dead.
Stories that are never written might as well be dead.

But I can guarantee you’ll see a post about an experience I just had, a bucket list moment.

I promise you my best effort to provide something better than adequate about the memories we made this weekend. Got to run first, but stay tuned because it is coming soon.

Filed Under: Blogging, Writing

It Is What A Blog Should Be

August 10, 2015 by Jack Steiner

broken heart
I never read the book, but I watched the movie and that line above is perfection.

Maybe it is because it is easy for me to relate to on a personal level or maybe it is because I enjoy simple writing that tells a story.

Those of you have been here for all, most or much of the journey know that I do this because I am compelled to write and not because I hope this will lead to a book deal, brand ambassadorship or fame.

If any or all of those things come because of blogging I’ll be very pleased but they won’t ever be the reason I stop or continue to blog.

I’m here because I am like the writing Captain Ahab but instead of a white whale I am chasing a great story or maybe it is more accurate to say I am chasing after the ability to tell a great story.

If the devil showed up and offered to exchange my soul for the ability to become a master storyteller I would be in big trouble because that is the sort of deal that I might actually consider.

But mostly because it would make one hell of a story.

Think for a moment how glorious it would be to tell the tale of the time Jack beat the devil at negotiating and how when the devil tried to get him back, Jack punched the horny dude in the nose and stabbed him in the ass with a pitchfork.

I may have grown up in Encino, but I come from the north side of the boulevard, no pussies allowed.

It Is What A Blog Should Be

Ask me what I want out of this experience and I’ll tell you that in addition to becoming one of the great storytellers I’d be happy to have people describe this joint as being what a blog should be.

Ask me why I about that and I’ll you how I sat in the corner of a coffee shop and listened to a group of twenty-somethings talk about what a blog should be.

Some of their conversation made me laugh and some of it made me feel really…old.

It is funny because even though I kid around about feeling like an old man most of the time I really don’t. I am always surprised by the reflection in the mirror.

Sometimes it is because I don’t particularly like what I see and sometimes it is because I see echoes of the guy I expect to stare back at me.

Jack punched the horny dude in the nose and stabbed him in the ass with a pitchfork.Click To Tweet

One of them kept telling the others about how important his blogs were and shouting about how he should be the top writer because he wrote his blogs faster than the other.

Initially, it made me smile because I understand the whole multiple blog thing and have a certain respect for those who maintain more than one.

But then I realized he was doing something that makes old Jack Steiner crazy. He was substituting the word blogs for posts.

In the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal but it is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

If you ate three slices of pie you wouldn’t say you ate three pies unless you really ate three pies in which case you ought to get off of your ass and start running, I like my readers to enjoy the benefits of good health.

But I digress.

wordsandmeaning
The Tools Of A Blogger

My favorite doppleganger wrote a quick post about how to make the most of our time.

It is certainly not his best work but it interested me because I have been thinking about what tools a blogger must have and which ones should be considered optional.

I picked up a single license for Social Warfare the other day because I kept hearing good things about it and the benefits it offers.

Disclosure: There is no affiliate link there, in fact there is no link at all.  That is not because I am irritated or unhappy with them but because I haven’t signed up for the affiliate program yet.

Fact is I have spent far less time with affiliate and monetization programs this year than probably any other time in my blogging career.

There is no particular reason for that other than I am just ridiculously busy and I spend more time roaming the plains and places of my world than I do in the blogosphere.

That lack of time in the blogosphere is the primary reason why the numbers here have dropped again. I don’t comment very often on other blogs and I don’t update with the same frequency as I once did.

Don’t worry. I am not going to quit blogging. I am just focused in other places, but I can guarantee I’ll keep writing and that sometimes I’ll fill these pages with more than you can keep up with.

This is all tied into how and why I have lasted for as long as I have. I march to the beat of a drummer who has no rhythm but that dude’s beat still makes me dance and that keeps me happy.

Happy is probably the primary tool a blogger needs. Happy keeps you coming back to the keyboard.

It is why I didn’t lose my mind when the blog blew up today and I had limited time to fix it. I am/was happy so it was important to me to take a deep breath and figure out how to fix it.

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

It is getting late and soon I shall have to find my pillow and answer the call of the snore.

But before I go I’ll share another thought, even though I am far from hanging up my keyboard I am thinking very seriously about what kind of blogger I am and what kind I want to be.

Don’t know that it matters or if I have to define it for anyone other than myself, but I am thinking about it.

See you in the comments…maybe.

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Filed Under: Blogging, Writing

The Strength Of A Writer

August 6, 2015 by Jack Steiner

scarsI am not just a writer or just a dad blogger any more than I am just a father, friend or man.

Nor am I solely the product of my experiences. You may wonder if or why it matters for me to define myself this way and all I can respond with is our personal definition of who we are is the most important one of all.

At least that is how I see it today, as a 46-year-old man who is looking out at the world thinking very carefully about the future I want and considering what actions I can and should take to make those things happen.

Yet I never forget who I am today is not who I once was nor who I might end up becoming. All I know is that I technically don’t have time to write this but I am going to find a way to compress time and fit something in because writing is like breathing to me and I choke without my air.

The Strength Of A Writer

The strength of a writer lies in remembering those scars. The minutes and moments that left their imprint are a big part of the well I draw upon to write these posts and the fiction that you see intermixed in it all.

I don’t have any particular rituals for writing that I have to follow in order to make the words flow from my fingertips. Most of the time I just need a place to sit and my headphones for when the noise around me finally becomes a nuisance.

Someone asked me to describe how I write fiction and part of me laughed because I haven’t published any books or stories. Written tons of them, sent out millions of characters into cyberspace but there is nothing in print that proves I am a published writer…of fiction.

Got other stuff out there that is published, but most of it is old or doesn’t contain my name so you wouldn’t know it was me and even if you stumbled across it you might not recognize my writing.

I sometimes wonder about that, how many people can truly recognize my writing and how many don’t. Doesn’t really matter, just something I think about from time to time.

But that doesn’t answer the question about how I write my fiction now does it. Doesn’t provide much insight so I suppose I ought to address it.

The answer is it depends.

Sometimes something or someone sets me off and I start thinking about those moments and sometimes they include a scar.

Since I am not the kind of guy who is always willing to leave well enough alone I pick at those scars and then I remember.

Memory sets off a click, a whirl and a switch and I am on Mr. Toad’s wild ride, driving the car with my knees and one eye blindfolded.

I never know where those stories are going to go until I see the words on the paper/screen.

The strength of a writer lies in remembering those scars.Click To Tweet

The Difference Between Me & You

“Jack, what is the difference between me and you?”

“You try to limit your writing to doing so when you have something to say. You focus on never producing content that might not be well received and I don’t.”

That was my response years ago and it still is today or at least when it comes to blogging. I don’t report to a supervisor or editor.

There is no authority looking down upon my writing so I just write as I wish.

It goes through cycles here where I share basic thoughts or stories like the Mother In The Men’s Room, Four Generations & A Wedding, Grandpa and A Father Describes Parenting.

There are different approaches like Cheaper Than A $5 Whore With Less Risk of Infection or Twenty-Five Links That Will Make You A Better Writer/Blogger too.

For me it is always about the writing and stoking the fire that the muse lives in. I don’t worry about whether these posts will be loved or hated because it is unusual energy suck.

I just follow my passion and do my best to try to do this well. It is the same lesson I teach my children, half the battle is showing up and then doing more than just being a part of the background.

Stories that are never written might as well be dead.
Stories that are never written might as well be dead.

Filed Under: Writing

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