Archives for April 2012

Telemarketers, Newsletters & Living Your Dream

Don’t Regret Not Living Your Life

Ilsa: ‘When I said I would never leave you.
Rick: And you never will. But I’ve got a job to do, too. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Ilsa, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that.” Casablanca

If Casablanca doesn’t break your heart and or move you in some way I question your humanity. Perhaps that sounds unfair and or unreasonable but that is just how that movie affects me. Rick’s journey is one that I relate to and hope to emulate in some ways and at the same time I never want to follow it.

I keep thinking about these moments in time that we live through. I keep looking back, looking to the side and looking forwards. I look at a post I wrote last August and wonder if I didn’t fall down the rabbit hole.

I am a collector of moments in time. I try to be present in all that I do so that when something special happens I can capture it and lock it away inside that place where the most important things of my life are filed.  By the time August is finished I will have buried my grandfather, watched my sister get married and moved out of the first house I owned. And I will have done it all in less than 30 days.

So much has happened since that moment when I walked out of the house and stepped into the unknown. I am happy. I am angry. I am sad and I am bitter. I am optimistic. There are opportunities that have come because of this. There are choices that I wouldn’t have made because of this and choices that I had to make because of this.

When I sold the house I knew that nothing would be the same and for the most part I was ok with it. Ok because a long time ago I accepted that the only way to really enjoy life is to live it. It is part of why I love this video.

Lori asks people to tell her how we let go and I say that I am not good at it. I carry some things with me. I don’t forget. I remember. Sometimes I am very good about just shrugging my shoulders and sometimes…not so much.

There are lessons I have learned the hard way. I have made mistakes and buried friends. I know what it means to lose loved ones to terminal illness. I have helped lower their coffins into the ground and then made sure that they were buried because I didn’t stop swinging the shovel. It was the final thank you and my silent way of saying goodbye.

And because I have done these things and experienced life I know that I don’t want to wake up and regret not having lived my life. The difference between thought, action and execution is substantial.

Every day that goes by in which I don’t take a step towards trying to live my dreams is a waste of time and that is the one thing I don’t have enough of. When people ask me why I sometimes get so frustrated with certain things it is because I want to live those dreams yesterday. I don’t want to wait to be happier and more fulfilled. I want it now and I will make it happen because that is how it has to go.

Action is required.

When I say that I want to write ebooks I want to kick it up a notch. Here is my plan. I am going to take a number of my posts and use them to build an ebook. You might wonder why I would do it that way and not write something “fresh.”

The answer is simple. The first book is a learning experience. I don’t know as much as I would like about what tools/resources I should use to create the book. I haven’t decided if I will make this free or sell it for a buck.

The way to learn is to make it happen. Too many people suffer from paralysis of analysis. That isn’t going to be me. The major regrets in my life were caused by that and I have no wish to repeat my mistakes.

It is time to fly. It is time to live. Come fly with me.

How To Write Funny Posts That No One Will Read

SEX SELLS (Girls just wanna have fun)

Sometimes I want to “Google” some of my old teachers so that I can tell them that they were right or wrong about me. It would be great fun to look up the woman who said that my writing was terrible and that I should focus on finding something that I was good at.

I’d take her to the library or a bookstore and show her the books I wrote about the boy wizard who outwitted, outlasted and outplayed his arch rival. And then I’d show her that mommy porn book about the shades of grey and say that was mine too. Hell, I would probably take credit for quite a few books because had those other guys not been lucky I would have written those stories first.

And don’t get me started on The Hunger Games because Collins knows that I was all over the kids killing other kids, apocalyptic future novel long before her. Really, it is true and it is just as true that I would have invented the lightbulb, the Internet (sorry Al Gore) and cars had those other guys not had the advantage of being older than me.

Really, you can’t blame me for being angry or frustrated. I am barely getting by right now. Been chasing a couple of bucks that people owe me for far too long. Too much to write off and too little to keep me from starving. But it is enough to do something with it and I have a lot of somethings.

The funny thing is that one of my old teacher said that I am a lot of somethings and not all of them were nice. He didn’t like me for lots of reasons and not just because I am funnier than he is. He is definitely not Canadian because when he got pissed off he told me so and in terms that weren’t very nice.

Ok, so maybe I was good at pressing his buttons. And maybe I am guilty of talking a bit more than I should have, but this was high school and I had to do that. Ok, maybe I didn’t have to do that but when you are a teenage boy on hormonal overdrive you do all that you can to convince the girls you like to get naked with you. At least we did back then, now I understand it is different.

Daddy’s Girl

Now I am told that high school boys get lucky all the time and that the girls are happy to make the boys happy. As the father of a daughter this fills me with a sense of dread and some doom. Not complete doom or full out dread, but enough to be concerned.

Concerned because I want to keep Daddy’s Girl safe, secure and sound. I can’t protect her from everything nor is it practical to wrap her from head to toe in bubble wrap, but I sure can think about it.

Maybe that is my problem, too much thinking. Like I think it would be great fun to create some sort of bubble wrap jousting tournament. We’d all be wrapped in bubble wrap and our job would be to pop that other guy’s bubbles. Sure it might be a complete waste of precious resources and I might piss off some environmentalists but those buys are perpetually upset.

Just ask them about drilling for oil in certain places and they go nuts. I think they should go back to school and find some of those happy to please the boys girls. Nah, I changed my mind about that. They’re so uptight they wouldn’t be able to enjoy it.

Now about my daughter and the boys that come asking for her hand. I still maintain a rule that they must fight me to the death or they cannot date her. The good news with this method is that I am pretty certain I’ll win those battles and if I don’t, well it won’t matter because I won’t be around to be nervous.

Funny Man

Somewhere out there in the ether is what we call an Internet troll or as they are known in Latin, “the commenterus assholus.” He or she likes to tell me that they hate my writing and that they don’t think I am funny. Like I said before they aren’t Canadian because they are far too mean.

I am guessing that they are from the Midwest and are tired of my bashing fly over land. It is not my fault they are landlocked and don’t know anything other than snow, tornadoes and burning rivers, but I digress.

This person and or persons hates my writing and says that my sense of humor doesn’t translate well to this particular medium. Well I suspect that the medium they used is shoved so far up there they can’t remove it and that is why they are so damn grouchy. Or maybe not.

All I know is that sometimes I type really slowly so that they can keep up. Next week I am going to use pictures and we’ll see if that helps. I have lots of funny pictures.

In the interim I have to go now because I am not funny and no one reads my posts, except for them. It is kind of nice to know that I live in their head rent free. That is my favorite kind of rent.

Important posts coming really soon.

What Is The Most Important Page On Your Blog

The Song Of My Heart Makes My Soul Sing

lifejourneyThe song of my heart makes my soul sing and right now it is weeping. It would be easy to tie that into An Uncertain Certainty, New Year’s Eve or Wanted.

Nor is it about A Whiter Shade of Pale or A Telephone Call. It is much closer to Stupid Blog Tricks- The Difference Between The Best & Most Popular.

That is because I am feeling frustrated by all the things that are preventing me from dedicating time to write. I feel stifled and that is not something that I do well with.

Words Are My Tears

Words are my tears and my laughter. Writing is where I go when I need to express my pain and my joy. It is where I sort and sift through my thoughts and figure out what I want to do and what I need to do.

There is a big difference between need and want. I know the difference because I have had countless hours to think about it.  I have dedicated more than a moment to determining what is and what shall be.

And I am paying a price for it. I am taking a beating in a million different ways because it has to be this way…for now. That is because when you make certain choices in life you find out that as you close doors they lock behind you. You can’t go backwards and there is no exit other than that at the end of the tunnel- so you go through.

The Boundaries Of Blogging

I write about this a lot, these boundaries that I see. They might not be the same for you, the boundaries of blogging that is. They exist for me because some topics can’t be discussed without raising issues for others.

When those topics touch upon my children I act more conservatively than I might otherwise. There are some things that they don’t need to be involved in. There are some discussions that they never need be a part of so instead of writing as candidly as I would like to I talk around them.

It is not necessarily enjoyable to be cryptic or talk in circles but sometimes that is what dad has to do. Frankly the beating I am taking comes because I am doing my best to protect them.

There have been moments where I have wondered if my trying to do so has created more problems for them and for me, but I tend not to think so. I know some people like to share everything with their kids and I applaud that…to a point.

I want my kids to be kids for as long as they can. One day they’ll be old enough to ask me what a daddy blogger does and I’ll share some of these posts with them If it goes as I wish it will be a time when these few hiccups will have been settled and I’ll smile.

Blog Fodder

I’ll smile because I’ll remember how in the midst of some very tough times the blog started to take off. I’ll talk about how the struggle made for great blog fodder and I did my best to turn the chaos and the crazy into posts that made people laugh, smile and or cry.

And I’ll continue to pull quotes from posts like this and serve them up for you and I to read

And I will do what is required so that I can determine whether the ghosts I see are the spirits of the future or the shades of the past. And in the midst of it all I will continue to hold out my hand so that you can take it. Because I never stopped being your hero and I never gave up.

Because I am running with the moon again. It is me and that big white orb that looks down upon this big blue marble. We are in our secret world where I look up at the sky and talk. That place where I say that I am trying to figure out the difference between seeing what I want to see and receiving signs from the universe.

I Hear Music

Fifteen minutes ago I was in a dark mood and a dark place. I was frustrated because these words that I talk about were stuck inside my head. Responsibilities and technical difficulties were thwarting my desire to get here and my effort to rectify that wasn’t working.

But I kept fighting, kept pushing and I made it here. I made it here and now I hear the music.

Now I hear the song of my heart and my soul is singing and if I could only give up sleep I would write all night long. But morning shall come too soon and there are deadlines that I cannot push away or put off.

Good night my friends. I shall see you tomorrow.