The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for July 2012

Different Worlds

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The almost 8-year-old girl stopped building her empire long enough to ask me how I know so many songs and then answered her own question.

“Daddy, I was going to ask you how you know so many songs and then I remembered it is because you were alive in the eighties.”

Her comment didn’t have anything to do with the music of the eighties or conversations about what I was doing then. That comment was said with a big smile and a glint in her eye that made it clear she was trying to tease daddy.

That is ok with me. I am one of the original troublemakers so I can’t fault her for following in my footsteps. I tease the people I like. If I don’t tease you it is because I am a grumpy old man who wants to use my size 12 boot on your behind. 😉

Music has always been a central theme in our house. The kids have been dancing around the house for as long as I can remember. Could be because she and I started dancing together the day she was born.

The girl who tried to teach me how to shuffle started out twirling around to the Godfather Waltz and never stopped. Turn some music on and her little body starts to move. I don’t know if she is even aware of it. It is a part of her and I love it.

Different Worlds

My children are growing up in a different world than I did. They think I am kidding when I talk about the Black and White television set my parents had when I was little.

I can’t make jokes about Rabbit Ear antennas, going to the drug store for tubes or snowy screens because they don’t know what I am talking about. They don’t know a Rotary phone from the Rotary Club either.

That is ok, things change.

They don’t appreciate how we couldn’t pause our television shows so we would have to “hold it” or just miss a part.

That is ok, things change.

Did I mention that the kids ask me why I repeat myself and tell bad jokes. When they say those things I tell them it is in the parent’s handbook and that when they hit junior high my goal will be to embarrass them as often as possible, because that is what people from the eighties do. 😉

Memories

One day they’ll be big and have their own sets of memories and jokes about what life was like growing up. One day they’ll tell stories about their parents and their lives just as my siblings and I do now.

I know this to be true. I see it happening already. They talk about the old house and what life was like. Brother and sister share memories about things I said or did and laugh.

I love these moments. I lived them as a child and am doing so now as a parent.

Still it is sometimes surreal. I look at them and think about how college feels like it was yesterday and high school was last week.

But neither is true.

Technically my parents are senior citizens but that is more about decisions made by government and less about perception. I look at them and it is clear to me they aren’t “young” anymore but I don’t necessarily think of them as being “old” either.

They have entered that stage of life where it is not uncommon for health issues to creep up. Later this week we’ll mark the 8th anniversary of my father’s triple bypass.

Later this year we’ll mark a year since the fathers of two dear friends died. They were in their seventies. Not young men, but not really old either.

I look around and see friends who have parents who are in their eighties and recognize this as more evidence that time has passed for all of us.

What is strange to me is the realization that my children have reached a place where time will accelerate for all of us. I will blink and they will be in college. I won’t be old when that happens but I won’t be young either.

Does it really matter? Probably not.

What We Are Listening To

Can’t end this post without some links to some of what we have been listening to. Can’t walk away without mentioning that I responded to my girl’s crack about the eighties by saying that I was around during the sixties and seventies too. Should have seen how wide her eyes got.

  1. Where The Streets Have No Name–  U2
  2. BURN IT DOWN- Linkin Park
  3. Little Talks- Of Monsters and Men
  4. Baby Got Back -Sir Mix-A-Lot
  5. This Little Girl Of Mine– Ray Charles
  6. Ain’t No Mountain High Enough- Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
  7. Closer To The Heart- Rush
  8. Walk On The Wild Side– Lou Reed
  9. The Sun’s Gonna Shine Again– Ray Charles
  10. Summertime- Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

If You Write It They Will Come

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Capture
“Dad, I need you to build a website for me. I am starting a business and I am going to make a lot of money selling my products online.”

I nodded my head and asked her if she had a name for her business. She told me it was “New Invented Jewelry.” I nodded my head again and asked her if she had tried googling the name to see what sort of competition was out there.

I already knew the answer and what we would find but I didn’t want to start the conversation by throwing cold water on her dreams. Instead I asked her to walk to the computer with me and suggested that we try to figure out what expectations were realistic for her new venture.

Realistic Expectations

Unrealistic expectations kill blogs, businesses and dreams. I have had multiple conversations with people who are shocked by how many people aren’t reading their blogs. The conversation isn’t limited to those who do business online or to people who run personal blogs.  More than a few people have told me they believe if you write it they will come is a realistic approach to online success.

I try not to be obnoxious or harsh in my response. I don’t believe there is one approach that is successful so I won’t fault people who do things differently than I do, but I do wonder about people who believe Internet Mythology.

And this idea of “if you write it they will come” is Internet Mythology.

Very few new bloggers or online businesses will see the sort of immediate success that is suggested by this mythology that so many promote.

I suppose that you could say this mythology plays a role in my creating  some of my more colorful headlines. Posts like Cheaper Than A $5 Whore With Less Risk of Infection, Things Bloggers Say During Sex and 69 Reasons Why Fathers Make Better Lovers are all suggestive but they are not as lurid and lascivious as they sound.

I play with headlines and complain about a society that prizes short attention spans and instant gratification. I use words like insouciant and defenestrate because they please me and I write first for me and then for you.

Sometimes I play it straight because I wonder if it will raise engagement levels. Since I haven’t conducted a scientific study I am not entirely sure about it. My gut says it is not entirely true. There is a low barrier to entry in blogging and the noise level is enormous.

That means there are lots of posts that have headlines that are similar to How To Become a Better Writer In Three Easy Steps, Living My Dreams and What Is The Value of A Comment?

What Distinguishes Our Posts From Everyone Else?

The obvious answer is how well it is written and whether the information is valuable to the readers. But I tend to focus on voice, passion and personality. Bloggers who put some of themselves into their words do better, at least with me they do.

I like reading posts that aren’t sterile and devoid of feeling. This isn’t a medical treatise, contract or financial report. It is a conversation between friends. It is a backyard barbecue that I host.

So I write and write and write and then I write some more.

Writing is a skill that improves with practice and so is storytelling.

Part of the reason I take part in prompts  is because it provides a consistent opportunity to practice my storytelling. And part of it is there are stories locked inside of me that are begging to be told.

Where is Your Focus?

This dark eyed beauty of mine is on the verge of turning eight. If you stick around you’ll get a chance to read the post I write to/about her. I do it every year because I like chronicling the lives of my children.

It is natural. I am a father. I am a dad blogger. There are a ton of parents who read this blog. If I write about my experience with Nintendo people ask questions about what games are appropriate for kids and which aren’t.

Some of the most heavily trafficked posts here are about mean moms and whether children should be on Facebook. With my oldest about to hit middle school I am sure I’ll start talking about dating, drugs and sex as it relates to kids his age.

But that doesn’t mean that I can’t integrate writing, marketing and social media into the mix. Nor does it mean that I can’t use some of the discussions with the kids as launch pads for discussions or examples.

When my favorite girl and I reached the computer she was shocked by how many people had the same idea she had. She couldn’t believe how many competitors were out there. So we had a very short conversation about whether it made sense to try to compete and what she might need to do to be successful.

It made for a very good teaching moment.I think one of my favorite moments was talking about the joy of the journey and how you can start out in one place and end up somewhere entirely different.

When she asked me if it has ever happened to me I looked at her and said it is happening right now. Stay tuned, things are afoot. More on that to come, for now it is time for your friend Jack to get some sleep. It is 2:30 AM and morning comes far too soon.

This Is How You Do It

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The last time I saw my grandparents dance together was at their 75th wedding anniversary party. They were both in their nineties and though their minds were still sharp their bodies were not what they had once been.

Flip through the pages here and you’ll find posts where I shared how my grandfather would tell me how he never saw a 90 something year-old woman sitting next to him because all he could see was the girl that he fell in love with.

They were together for so many years that it seemed inconceivable that there might come a time when they would be separated, yet it happened. Grandma died and left grandpa alone.

He wasn’t angry with her for dying, but he missed her terribly and I am convinced that he died of a broken heart. It took 18 months, but that is what killed him. Her absence.

Not a day went by where he didn’t talk to her or think about her, but it wasn’t the same.

When I think about that final dance I can’t help but smile. All six of their great grandchildren were there. I heard my son and my oldest nephew groan when they kissed and laughed when they swore they would never have girlfriends or get married.

For a brief moment they convinced their legs to hold firm and their backs straight and I remembered them dancing at my Bar Mitzvah and other family functions.

Life is filled with all sorts of different moments. I am doing my best to recognize them when they come and to appreciate them while they are happening.

3.14 Reasons Why Movies Are More Important Than Pi

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I spent about 22/7ths of a moment thinking about headlines for this post and almost settled on “What Is Your Favorite Movie?”

It is a solid headline. It is easily understood and something that will generate comments, discussion and conversation. Smarter people than I  might leave it alone and let it run, but I prefer the road not taken.

Why take the cable car up the mountain when you can spend a bit more time hiking through the brush and blazing trails where none might have existed before. It is kind of funny because I am  generally not an advocate of reinventing the wheel when you don’t have to.

But this time around I didn’t feel like it. This time around I wanted to try something different, so I did.

Besides, I wanted this post to be more than just our favorite movies. Stick around and I’ll share more with you about why.

My Favorite Movie- Casablanca

I don’t remember the first time I watched Casablanca, but I remember when it became my favorite movie. I was twenty-something and trying to figure out how a woman had found a way to surgically remove my heart without the benefit of a scalpel.

Old Jack was very bitter about this breakup which is probably why I loved the scene below so very much.

Actually there are many scenes in the movie that I love. I am not sure if I can pick just one. What I can tell you is that as I have aged I have gained a deeper appreciation of the movie. I never grow tired of it.

I love movies that make me think and feel. I love the 1,938,933 lines from movies that people quote for years afterwards and laugh/smile about.

GlenGary Glen Ross isn’t just a movie to me. It is a snapshot of some of my former jobs, colleagues and bosses. It makes me see. It makes me feel. It makes me remember.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AO_t7GtXO6w 

Movies and Blogging

This is where we drop off clever and pick up simple. I like movies because I like stories. I like creating stories to tell be they written or spoken. I like hearing/watching/reading stories.

On a professional level my focus is almost always on how to tell a captivating and compelling story. How do I help the company create a connection between itself and its prospective customers. What can I do to help people see why they should buy/hire/purchase a particular/product service.

I suppose it is fair to say my personal interest intersects with my professional, with the distinction that one day I want to sell enough books to support my family.

Storytelling can make that happen. The big question is can I write that tale? Can I come up with something that you can’t stop reading because you have to know what happens.

Movies are a source and resource for that.

Sometimes I watch a movie and am completely underwhelmed by something that looked like it should have been amazing. Sometimes when that happens I try to figure out what went wrong.  Was it bad acting? Did they try to cram too many thoughts/ideas into a two hour time frame? Did it suffer from bad special effects?

It is not hard to take those ideas and apply them to blogging. If you wanted to you could create a dozen or more posts based upon those ideas. You could create an entire series with it.

Maybe I’ll try that one day, but not now.

That is not the purpose of this post. This one is about sharing a few thoughts about movies and a couple of clips from some of my favorites.

It is not a complete list.

Nor have I provided you with all of the reasons why I love movies or all of my dreams. This is more of a stew, but that is ok.

It served its purpose.

But I can’t finish this without asking you to share some of your favorite movies in the comments. Feel free to share as much or as little as you would like.

What Kind Of Story Are You Telling?

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Last five songs played on iTunes

  1. Reelin in the Years– Steely Dan
  2. Dreamboat Annie– Heart
  3. Sweet Child O’ Mine– Guns N’ Roses
  4. Why So Serious? – The Dark Knight Soundtrack
  5. Ghost riders in the sky – Johnny Cash

Have you ever thought about recording the conversations you have with your friends and/or writing down all of the thoughts you think about during the day?

I have and I do…think about it.

The reason for this is simple. I want to hear/read the story I am telling everyone else and see if it is the same story I tell myself. I want to know if I am selling a bill of goods to myself and everyone else about what my goals for the future are and the steps that I am taking to make them come true.

My gut feeling is that I am not and have not been anything but forthright about these things.

The conversation that Mark and I had in the comments here about football and weightlifting is what got me thinking about things. It made me think about what was important and what still is.

I remember when it was of paramount importance to spend those hours in the gym and hit those marks I set for myself. I looked at the old guys and rolled my eyes at their stories about not having the same time or energy for lifting. I didn’t believe they didn’t have time to work out, I thought they were lazy.

Well, I am not lazy but I am one of the “old guys” now and what was important is less so. Ask me why I don’t look exactly the way I would like to and I will tell you it is because I like to eat and have done a lousy job of adjusting my diet.

I am responsible.

Responsibility, eBooks and Goals

A while back I decided that I wanted to write two ebooks, but I haven’t produced either. It is not because I am incapable of it. I produce more content than most and I do it at a faster pace than many.

So I ask myself why is it that I haven’t done it. What have I done or not done to get it done. On a related side note the fabulous Craig McBreen has just released his first ebook The Art of Breaking Out: My NOW Manifesto. You should go check it out. While you are at it go visit Jens and check out his ebooks.

The responsibility for the lack of production lies solely on my shoulders. It is not because I can’t do it, it is because I haven’t done it. I think the reason why is because I haven’t focused my attention there.

That is not the kind of story I want to tell or share with you. Who wants to list where they have fallen short. Who wants to say they are their own worst enemy and provide examples of what hasn’t worked.

Well I guess that I do. It is not to gain accolades for honesty or praise for being willing to take some lumps in public but because blogging is where I hold myself accountable.

This place is where I air out my thoughts and figure out what I think, what I feel and what I need.

What is The Point of an eBook?

While I am thinking out loud I need to share the obvious question. What is the point of my writing an eBook. What benefits come from doing writing it? Off the top of my head I think it can help establish authority and credibility on whatever topic you are writing about.

It is a marketing tool you can use to try and obtain speaking gigs, work opportunities and it is cool to say that you wrote a book. The coolness factor of writing a book is somewhat offset by the number of readers of said book, but that is a different topic.

If I believe everything I just wrote (and I do) then I have to accept that I need to adjust what I am doing or stop telling the story I have sold myself.

Echoes Of The Future

You can accuse me of falling in love with that phrase if you want, but I hear the echoes of the future calling and I am ready to answer them. This post is one of the gifts of blogging. The opportunity to clarify our thoughts and gain a deeper understanding of what we need and what we want is awesome.

I don’t know about you, but I have an overwhelming feeling that 2012 marks the beginning of something truly special. I keep talking about the journey because I am on one and I am grateful that you are here with me too. It is not lip service, it is the truth.

So here is my story. I am Jack, the dad blogger who is reaching for the brass ring. I take responsibility for my failures and my successes. Truth is I have far more success on the tally sheet than failures and I am getting ready to add a couple more hashmarks.

That is the story I am telling and I am sticking to it.

How about you?

Cookie Monster Provides Practical Solutions To Challenges You Face

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You might not know that the fuzzy blue monster with the googly eyes does more than sing, but he does. He provides practical solutions to things that you might find challenging.

Don’t believe me? Fine.  We’ll wait while you go check out:

Watch Cookie Monster Cure Writer’s Block

I admit to being somewhat biased. In the interest of transparency I confess that Old Googly Eyes and I have a friendship that goes back more than 40 years. Not to mention that we share a love for cookies.

Confession: we once had a massive fight about a box of cookies. It was ugly, but that is what happens when you pit a monster against a hungry blogger.

Second confession: I admit to having been somewhat jealous of him. I spent hours in the gym working on turning this body of mine into the kind of temple women wanted to worship at. I had some success, but not like him.

Dude walks into a room and instantly gets the attention of all of the people in there. Strangers insist on hugging him and ask him out on dates. I didn’t think it was fair.

I was ripped. My abs made the soloflex guy jealous. I had arms that were cut and I was certain that I would do better against a fuzzy blue monster whose body is less than pristine. But I didn’t. It was hard.

Maybe that is when I started to realize that personality goes along way or maybe it was when he auditioned for Saturday Night Live, I am not really sure.

What I can tell you is that I learned from these experiences. It was hard, but well worth the lessons.

I made a point to try to be friendlier and kinder to those I encountered. I stopped making fun of cleveland and celtic fans.

Ok, I didn’t completely stop but I don’t do it every day. Wouldn’t be fair now would it. The land of the burning river just can’t help itself and those celtic fans aren’t the smartest tools in the shed.

Within the blogosphere I tried to make a point to go visit my fellow bloggers. I stopped spending as much time here and started to focus elsewhere.

When I went to see the other bloggers I tried to ask them how they were doing. I worked on paying attention to what they were saying so that I could be a better friend.

Suddenly Jack Hits The Reset Button

Ok, there isn’t  a reset button for me to hit but if there was I would hit it. That is because I want you to know some things. I like being silly and insouciant but I try to never forget that there are real people out there reading these things.

In the latest copy of the newsletter I shared some thoughts about community and the importance of building relationships. I said that if we want people to read our words we should work on building relationships with others and creating community.

If we do it well we find that people are willing to give us their time and that is precious. I will probably blog about it. I will probably write a post that isn’t tongue and cheek, but I couldn’t do it now.

That is because sometimes it is important to be silly and to not take all this blogging crap so seriously. When I say that social media is about people it is based upon my experience as a blogger and a person.

I know what I like to see in other blogs and what people tell me they like to see in my blog.

So sometimes you get goofy posts. Sometimes you get a few typos or grammatical errors, but not many.

But the reason and purpose behind that is to give you a bit of me. It is so you see there is an ordinary man sitting here at this keyboard. Just another father sharing the journey with those who are willing to walk with him.

Overall I think it is working pretty well. I think we are learning and that something magical is happening here. I hope you feel it because I do.

Got to run for a bit because all those videos of Old Googly Eyes have given me quite a hankering for a cookie. Back soon.