I Am The Bruce Lee Of Dad Bloggers

I Am The Bruce Lee Of Dad Bloggers is probably only slightly less obnoxious than calling myself The Original Dad blogger, but not much.

But if you want to win the magical game of building your blog you have to market yourself. You can’t rely upon your love of writing to make it work because they won’t come just because you write it.

I know, we want to believe If You Write It They Will Come because it makes us feel better but unrealistic expectations kill blogs, businesses and championships. It doesn’t matter how many times you read 500 Ways To Have Better Sex & Earn Money From Blogging because your expectations or should I say ability to manage your expectations dictates more than you know here.

Ask me how I know these things?

Ready?

Here comes a response from some jackass who has written about these issues before.

And this idea of “if you write it they will come” is Internet Mythology.

Very few new bloggers or online businesses will see the sort of immediate success that is suggested by this mythology that so many promote.

I suppose that you could say this mythology plays a role in my creating  some of my more colorful headlines. Posts like Cheaper Than A $5 Whore With Less Risk of Infection, Things Bloggers Say During Sex and 69 Reasons Why Fathers Make Better Lovers are all suggestive but they are not as lurid and lascivious as they sound.

Of course that same jackass has written posts about many topics besides parenting, dad blogging, sex, music, writing, reading, brake jobs, tune ups, history, politics and humor.

Sometimes the jackass goes after grammar snobs and those who don’t know about a self deprecating sense of humor. When you ask him if he can write a funny post he gets a little nuttier than normal.

Yes grammar people, I hear your cries. You want to know why I didn’t point out that I was referring to a person’s ass and not a person in their entirety. Maybe it is because I wanted to circle back to our headline and write the following:

1. Can You Write a Funny Post.
2. Can You Write a Funny Post?
3. Can You Write a Funny Post!

If you asked nicely I could write three separate posts based upon those three punctuation marks. At least I could if my juvenile sense of humor wasn’t stuck in the land of scatological humor.

Does This Post Have To Make Sense?

No. It doesn’t have to make sense and you don’t have to read it, but you will. You have already invested this much time here so you might as well go the distance. Who knows, maybe there will be a giveaway. Maybe there will be a prize.

Maybe the author called up some company and said to give him free stuff or risk having a bad review written about your product because the Bruce Lee of Dad bloggers is so damn powerful.

Or maybe he just wishes he was. Maybe he feels like life has been more challenging than normal and he is trying to catch his breath, Maybe he feels like he is encircled by enemies and he is trying to figure out where he put his nunchucks because it would make life a bit easier.

That crazy old guy man has never had a problem using his fists when necessary, but dammit, these days it takes much longer to recover from the battles, even the ones he has won and at last count it was most.

Hell, ask him to tell you how many bad days he hasn’t survived and he’ll laugh because he has survived them all, maybe a bit worse for wear but still standing.

Better yet ask him why he is referring to himself in the third person.

Life Lessons Learned From The Soccer Field

My kids are playing soccer again. They love playing and we love watching them. There is so much joy and so many good teaching moments that come from it.

But right now I am less than pleased with some of it. The whole operation runs off of volunteers and always has.

In concept that shouldn’t be a problem but there is a dearth of coaches and the guy who was supposed to coach my daughter’s team has resigned.

I want to take over but there is a good chance work will take me out of town or at least make it impossible for me to guarantee I can make the practices and the games.

This irks me in multiple ways.

I don’t want my daughter to be screwed because we can’t find another coach. There have been a 100 parents so it is hard for me to believe that everyone of them is in the same position as I am.

Those of you who know me well know it is hard to pin me down but that is because I work very hard not to make promises I can’t keep. I am reluctant to step up when I cannot guarantee I will be available for the majority of the practices and games.

But if they can’t find anyone and the girls aren’t reassigned to a different team I might volunteer anyway. I don’t like that idea much because I really don’t know what will happen with my work situation, but perhaps it is better to make sure she gets to play than not.

Would be nice if this one area wasn’t so damn complicated but life doesn’t always cooperate as we wish it would.

What do you think?

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