A Letter To A Girl

He wrote a letter to a girl but wasn’t sure if she got it so he put it a few different places online and periodically checked to see if there were signs she had received it.

Sometimes he considered using what younger people would call ‘old school’ tactics such as sending a handwritten note or asking Ma Bell to help him reach out and touch someone.

He wasn’t sure if she had ever seen his handwriting and less sure about whether she would be able to read it.

The thought of poor penmanship creating issues made him snort.

He could write her a letter that would make her melt, something that she would think was the most romantic and thoughtful thing she had ever received but poor penmanship could destroy it and instead of instantly melting she would do the opposite.

That wasn’t the kind of hot you wanted to make a girl feel.

So he thought again about the telephone and wondered if she would pick up or let it go to voicemail. Should he rehearse so that he could say exactly what he wanted using the perfect intonation?

What if he burped or coughed halfway through?

That might ruin the moment.

What if she picked up and he said something really stupid by mistake?

Truthfully he was less concerned about that. Hell, he was most confident about having a discussion in person but that wasn’t going to happen without an invitation.

And he wasn’t sure if the invitation would happen without the letter which is why he posted it in multiple places and wondered why she wouldn’t just read it.

A Quick Blast

I have watched a bunch of clips of Notting Hill and remembered how much I enjoyed it.

Got a short list of movies I haven’t seen in the theater yet that I plan on going soon. Since I am living the bachelor life I have the opportunity to go and see them in whatever order I want.

Sometimes I forget how much I love having the ability to make every big decision without having to do the negotiation thing and or create a list of pros/cons.

Ok, I have my internal list of pros/cons but it is always different when you are the one making the final decision.

Living It

I think I am doing a pretty damn good job of living out that ‘find what you are afraid of and live there.’

Not so sure I did it intentionally, but here I am…doing my best.

Doing Life Wrong

I am not a fan of whining especially when you have some control over whatever is causing you to whine but that doesn’t mean I never have my moments.

The last few weeks or so have been filled with the sort of grind it out to get through the day experiences that have me feeling like I might be doing life wrong.

Moments where I look at all that surrounds me and wonder if the common denominator in the madness is me.

Maybe I am not very good at making choices and maybe this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach is there because deep down I know I have to take the blame because who else is responsible for the situations I am working through.

Granted there are some things that really had nothing to do with the choices I made or didn’t make but it doesn’t mean I can step around them.

So here I am, feeling like I am walking in broken glass and trying not to fall. Just got to get one step closer to the other side and things will improve.

I think. 🙂

The Great Seesaw

Feels a lot like I am standing on the great seesaw of life right now, trying to keep from losing my balance and falling off.

The professional world feels like I am three steps away from losing everything and two steps from making huge and profitable change.

I am pushing for huge and profitable while hoping that losing everything is just PTSD from the past.

Got questions about soul mates and whether they are real or imaginary. Got a Netflix show recommended to me that touches upon it called the OA.

Watched part of an episode, have to finish it.

Got a funny feeling that some loose ends are going to come back up and be explored and or examined in depth.

It is not a bad thing, kind of looking forward to it as it has been a long time coming.

She needs answers whether she recognizes it or not is a different question altogether.

But when your legs are wrapped around someone you tend to start to figure things out, one way or another.

The Story Of Our Lives Continued

The man took out his pen again and tried to write her a letter that would do more than make her read it twice.

Wrote down a few sentences but didn’t like them because they sounded ridiculous so he tore up the paper and went through the same act three more times.

Tried going a different direction by using music and wondered if that was ridiculous too.

He wanted to trust his gut and deny it simultaneously.

It was dangerous to believe and painful not to so he looked for a way to break the impasse between heart and head and searched for a Magic 8 Ball.

Surely such a thing would provide the information he needed and the support he required to make things move in the right direction.

Now all he needed to do was find the damn ball or move to a cave from which he would periodically emerge to send messages via smoke signal or carrier pigeon.

Or alternatively he thought about writing every single thought and feeling he had upon a letter which would be placed in a bottle and tossed in the ocean.

If she somehow found that bottle it would be proof of destiny.

It wasn’t as effective as reaching out directly but it involved less risk and in some ways more romanticism or stupidity, kind of depended on what side of the fence you stood upon. 🙂

Good times for all, good times.