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They had sworn a blood vow to never let go of each other and had done the things that they could to ensure that it would last.

But that was then and this is now.

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Life is nothing but a series of moments in time set against the backdrop of the people who share them. It was a lesson that Johnny had learned all too well. There had been moments of triumph and moments of tragedy. He had tales of sorrow, had gained and garnered more than a few scars.

That is what happens when you live and love. Sometimes you come out of these moments feeling like you are a one armed boxer punching at the breeze and sometimes you come out carrying the grand prize. The trick and the challenge lies in recognizing those moments for what they are.

I wrote those words on a different blog many years ago, but they feel familiar today so they have been unpacked and aired out.

Something is off today, something isn’t right and I am a bit off center but I haven’t quite figured out the how or why of it.

The not knowing irks me more than the feeling because if I understood it I might find it easier to let it come and pass over/through me.

My best guess is it is tied into the ample pile of stuff I have on my plate now.

A Sunday Morning Special

Texas has been a mixed bag so far and while I have no regrets about making the move it has been more challenging than I expected.

There are things happening that I didn’t anticipate that have created some significant bumps in the road and that may be the primary source of my distress.

Those unsought and unexpected hiccups have me shaking my head wondering how they crept up on me.

Did excitement blind me or were they just part of stuff I never could have anticipated, moments that just happen.

The best-laid plans often go astray.

Or maybe this feeling of bleah is tied into the list of chores I have to do and my desire not to spend Sunday cleaning and washing.

Sometimes it is easier to think about starting over than trying to clean up, clear up and clear out.

I have made a point to remind myself and to think about whether this is a real storm or just a cloud that is covering my sunlight.

Not going to lie and say it is as easy as that and that with the snap of my fingers all the stress just disappears because it isn’t and it doesn’t.

But I can say the benefit of taking the time to write, sift and sort through it all has had the desired effect of clearing up a few things.

Guess I ought to hit the cleaning for a bit and then go hit the gym and see if that doesn’t clear up the rest of this Sunday Morning Special.

That is not my favorite picture of Jerusalem but it comes from a free stock photo site and it works as part of my introduction.

Works because if you are like me you have a ton of photos that were taken using film, printed out and placed into albums.

And yet you also have a ton of digital photos floating around, some of which was printed out and placed into albums and some of which has been uploaded and left in the cloud.

Did I mention the benefit of having moved five or six times in 10 years is that some things have been placed in boxes and haven’t been seen in years.

In theory those items should be eliminated from our personal inventory of crap really important stuff and given away, except some of those items are photo albums.

Photos are important to me and I am not going to get rid of the albums, even if sixty of them are filled with the photos you take of your first born.

Swimmers, Pictures and Bat Mitzvahs

Saturday rolls around and my daughter is flipping through a stack of photo albums, soft giggles lead to cackling and I know she is staring at old photos from junior high or high school.

I tell her we are pulling out the boxes because we need to get rid of stuff and aren’t supposed to stare at pictures.

She tells me how silly she thinks we look in some of our school photos and I tell her one day her kids will tell her that the ‘V’ for Victory’ hand gesture kids make now will be seen as dated and stupid too.

“Whatever dad, you and your 80s talk.”

I smile and tell her to just wait.

“OMG dad, you weren’t kidding. You had hair and you were ripped.”

I walk back over and see pictures from my swim team days. She has come across photos I had forgotten about and for a moment I go back 30 years.

“Dad, my Bat Mitzvah is coming next year. I want you to get in shape for it.”

I look at her and ask her if I embarrass her. I have that dad bod, it is not what I want but it is not nearly as bad as a bunch of the guys.

She tells me she isn’t embarrassed by how I look physically but wants to make sure I am healthy and around for as long as possible.

It is not a ridiculous comment or request and when you look at pictures of me at 17 and compare them to the present, well, I look like a slug.

But her words hit me more because of my own ego and feelings about where I am at now and because sometimes I look at family photos and shake my head because I am not pleased with what I see.

That never used to be me.

Truth is there are about six people whose opinion might matter to me about this, but the guy at the top of the list is the one I see staring back at me.

783 Reasons Why Family Photos Make Me Crazy

The 17 long time readers will tell you there probably aren’t anywhere close to 783 reasons why family photos make me crazy and they would be right.

At the moment there is one major one and several smaller ones.

The smaller ones are pretty basic, got a teenager who doesn’t like taking pictures and tries to avoid being in them whenever he can.

Add in the need to organize things and to find a way to integrate the digital stuff with film shots that have been printed and you have the highlights of the minor ones.

What Does That Leave?

It leaves a lack of photos taken on vacations and trips we have taken because we haven’t done as much of that as I want to.

Haven’t done as much as I did when I was a kid and it bothers me.

The reason is simple…it is financial.

I just haven’t had the cash to do what I have wanted to do with the sort of frequency that would make me happy.

It is part of why I have taken a very active role in changing things so that this is not an ongoing theme.

The good news is that if I can make this happen the way I think and hope to it will be a series of things they remember.

And one day when we talk about the last ten years or so I’ll tell them about how we did a lot when they were really little and then went through a more challenging decade or so.

I’ll tell them to look at the time that followed and smile because there will be a series of good memories tied into it.

My focus is on collecting experiences because those can’t be taken from you, but possessions, well they can.

And now my friends I am off to exercise, got to do something about getting myself in better shape. Not because of the pictures but because of me, because I want it.

That is the key in most things, wanting it and a willingness to do what it takes to get it.

If I asked you to look at the buildings in the picture above and tell me which one holds the smartest and most successful people would you be able to do it?

Would your odds of success be improved or diminished if I told you that you had to close your dominant eye and hop on one foot while looking?

Don’t bother trying to answer my ridiculous questions they weren’t posed with the intent for you to say yes or no, right or wrong or to throw your hands up in despair.

You’re Not The Best Writer I Have Ever Read

A former editor of mine told me I wasn’t the best writer I had ever read and that I ought to accept his criticism without complaint.

“Ed, the next time you bully your wife into going down on you I hope she forgets why she is there and suddenly decides that your schmeckel is the greatest hot dog she has ever tasted. I don’t want to just bite, I want her to chew.”

He rolled his eyes at me and tried to cut me.

“Jack, I don’t know how you think that is supposed to help me understand you any better.”

“Ed, you clearly don’t. I didn’t say that because I hoped it would help you understand me. I said it because I am frustrated and thought it was nicer than calling you a myopic fat fuck who needs to learn about the difference between editing for style and editing for errors.”

Confession: What I really wanted to say was far nastier and more graphic but professionalism and decorum didn’t allow for that.

Bloggers love to debate and discuss how to become a better blogger and what you need to do to build a bigger audience.

Not long ago I was told again that I need to spend more time working on my headlines because people don’t read, they skim.

I posed the same question to the expert that assured me that headlines were key as I did to you except this time I waited for him to answer.

When he did he told me it was impossible to say and suggested I had tried to make him answer a question that was designed to help me prove my point.

I laughed and asked him how many times people try to convince others by not asking leading questions and then moved on to my next comment.

“I want people who read to come and spend time here. I want people who do more than just skim. I want people who think and who ask questions. I want my tribe.”

I Don’t Need To Be The Best Writer You Have Ever Read

You know the sad truth is not everyone is going to like, love or appreciate your work.

Sometimes your mother is going to read what you wrote and silently think it is not your best, hell, she may even tell you it is your worst.

Me, well as you already know or can guess, I don’t care if I am the greatest you have ever seen.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want people to like my work. Doesn’t mean I don’t want people to love it either.

Hell, I know the Shmata Queen loves almost everything I write and not just because she told me so. I know because I know her well enough to know what resonates with her.

And I know people well enough to know that there are going to be times when you hit a home run and times when you strike out.

A thousand years ago when I was in sales I was told by one of the guys that I should change my style.

I asked him why and he said it was because I was an elephant hunter and that it would be better to have a 100 good clients instead of one or two.

I pointed out that I had been in the top 5 for seven years and he said, “what happens if you lose one of your elephants.”

I smiled and said I’d go back a few more.

Readers and Writers

It has been years since that conversation and I can tell you how the other guy shook his head and laughed.

Sometimes the way people try to help you is to force you to do things their way without any regard for whether it meshes with your way.

I tell my kids there are a million different paths and a million different definitions to and of success.

I tell them to learn how to go along and get along and to figure out when to do your own thing.

There has never been and will never be a time when readers and writers didn’t write or read past each other.

No matter what you say or do you won’t reach everyone. Some of it is because your words just won’t resonate with the others and some because

Some of it is because your words just won’t resonate with the others and some because they’ll skim your posts and miss the meat.

The best and most important thing you can do is to keep going, keep pushing and keep writing.

Keep looking for your tribe and know they are looking for you too.

One More Thing

Ed, I don’t know if you’ll ever stumble upon this but if you do I want you to know I still hope she bit down…hard.

And I hope you figured you out how disgusting it was to see your fat Cheeto-stained fingers drizzle crumbs over anything and everything.

If we ever meet again I promise to bring a you a tray of Ex-Lax brownies and a beer to wash them down with.

All of my love,

Jack

A Final, Final Comment

If this is your first time here I encourage you to spend some time reading about me and checking out the archives.

There are are all sorts of golden nuggets floating around here.