Life

The ‘Gifts’ Of Aging

September 21, 2022 by Jack Steiner 2 Comments

Don’t have it in me to try and translate this song for you because it requires more than just providing lyrics in English.

It would be similar to asking me to tell you about Springsteen’s Born To Run, Marlowe’s Passionate Shepherd poem and what they mean to me.

We’re not talking about a report for an English class but the kind of intimate explanation you provide to someone you want to understand you on a deeper level.

And I am tired, physically and mentally.

Been carrying a load that I hadn’t realized was extra heavy and it has caught up with me. The funny thing about it is in so many ways life is really good now.

The work I have put in to make it go a certain way has paid off and I am 90 percent of the way or something close to it.

That is a good thing and I am grateful but now I have to take it off of my shoulders, this load and catch my breath because the last part of the journey is going to require even more.

Don’t doubt that I will make it but this pause is how I take a moment so that I can recharge my battery because it is going to take some grit to go the distance.

Probably part of why I have seen so many docs lately, I subconsciously knew this was coming and began to prepare for it.

The ‘Gifts’ Of Aging

One of my daughters best friends is walking the streets of Jerusalem now in a program far different than the one she is in here in the states.

She hears stories via Whatsapp and various methods that make the world a smaller place but she doesn’t know the world her friend is in the way I do.

Nor does she have the benefit of life experience to have similar expectations to mine and that is ok, she doesn’t need to.

I haven’t volunteered much and intend to stay silent because it is not my place to prognosticate about 18 year-olds and their dream.

Nor will I tell her about the people I know who went down similar paths and years later are divorced and far less religious than they were.

Not my world or my place, my focus is on other things.

Got a girl who scored higher than most of the class on her Chemistry test but is frustrated that she didn’t meet her own expectations.

Been talking to her about grit and remembering that she has been in college for all of five weeks. Her old man had a very different experience during the first five weeks but he was never as driven as she is in some areas.

Though I can say I was and am as driven in some areas as she has ever been. Her drive didn’t just materialize from nothing.

What The Docs Have Said

Overall the docs have said I am doing well and offered counsel for ways to do better. Still need to get back to my PCP to get that broader view of things but have refused to go in.

Why?

Because I want to be in better shape when I go and have been seeing progress. Overall I feel good but could feel far better.

I attribute some of that to frustration with particular areas of life. Once I get those fixed or at least adjusted I think I’ll stop carrying some of this weight and that will have a positive impact.

For now I am just working through it because I can’t wait for things to happen. Can’t say it is all contingent upon one thing or another.

So I am rollng with what I have got and doing what I can.

As I said above, things are pretty good overall so I am keeping my fingers corssed that I can maintain the momentum even as I deal with some of the brain damage life throws at us.

Maybe that is one of the gifts of aging, the knowledge tomorrow isn’t promised so we act upon it all today, whatever ‘all’ is.

When Civility Is No Longer Warranted

July 20, 2022 by Jack Steiner 4 Comments

The man told me it is ok to agree to disagree and I said he was dead wrong.

Why?

Because he told me Sandy Hook was fake and spouted three other ridiculous conspiracy theories.

“There is a moment when civility is no longer warranted and it starts now. I will not let you push offensive knowledge that isn’t based upon fact or rational thought as if we are having a simple disagreement.

This is not you and I debating whether you can put ketchup on a hot dog or if chunky is better than creamy.

If you believe Sandy Hook is fake, that the earth is flat and that nothing happened on January 6th you are delusional and in need of help.”

They pushed back and said I had been taken in by propaganda.

I refused to listen and said it was convenient to say that anything you dislike is fake and anything you agree with is factual.

“Toddlers do that. I am ok with two and three-year-olds figuring out what is real. That doesn’t extend to adults who push the lies you are trying to.

It is not only offensive it is dangerous to let idiotic claptrap be pushed out as having some sort of science or peer-reviewed support when no such thing exists.

There are some things upon which there is no room for disagreement and this is one of them.”

The Joy Of Packing

June 28, 2022 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

The joy of packing for a trip you don’t really want to go on but know is necessary is never the same as packing for the one you can’t wait for.

No surprises or shock is derived from this less than profound insight. Heck, you can label this as mild whining about something I could get out of but won’t.

This needs to be done and as I have taught my children so shall I act. Jumping on it sooner than later gets it out of the way so that I can focus my energy and attention on what I want to do.

Still, I’ll grant myself five minutes to complain about it.

I had the option of flying which in concept would reduce the amount of travel time by a significant amount but I decided not to roll the dice on that one.

Why?

Because during the Summer of 2022, at least the beginning part, the airlines are short-staffed and it is causing issues with flight delays and cancellations.

So I am putting in for windshield time knowing it will cause more wear and tear on me but I’ll better control of when I come and go.

Let’s hope the roads remain clear because that could blow this whole idea up.

If nothing else I’ll get plenty of time to listen to some of the books I downloaded from Audible and catch up on some of the interviews Howard Stern has conducted that I haven’t listened to yet.

And who knows, maybe I’ll find a bag of money or some buried treasure during my adventure and get to retire.

Unexpected Guests

June 20, 2022 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Sometimes our cyberhomes receive unexpected guests and we celebrate their arrival because their presence adds to the overall experience.

Sadly the converse is true and sometimes we receive guests we prefer not spend time with us.

There are steps we can take to help encourage them to haunt a different home but they are not always as effective as we might like.

The latter is where things are at so I am thinking about borrowing SQ’s giant black purse so that I can provide both digital and physical motivation to go.

But then again might not have to do so given that some visitors have provided more details than they might wish.

Funny how you can point out time spent on frivolity instead of work and suddenly get people whipped into shape.

Pressure and motivation come in multiple forms. 😉

That Time When Almost Everyone Got Covid

June 5, 2022 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

One day the story of that time when almost everyone got Covid will be told and when it does we’ll be sure to laugh heartily at how ridiculous it all was…but not today.

We’ll tell you about how the family flew in to celebrate my daughter’s high school celebration and how wearing masks and being fully vaccinated didn’t work as well as we hoped it would.

Given the current climate I’ll stress I am a believer in science and medicine and a proponent of getting vaccinated. Some failures are going to happen upon occasion and I would still argue in favor of smart preventative measures.

Anyhoo, a couple of days after the graduation my daughter’s mom came down with Covid. She was fully vaccinated, including the boosters and wearing a mask…go figure.

A day after that I came down with a fever and a scratchy throat so per instruction from my doc I went to urgent care and they checked me out for Covid and strep throat.

I tested negative for both. Hell, I tested negative for Covid a couple of times afterward so it seems I never had it or maybe I am just one of those people it didn’t register with.

Took me about 18 hours to shake whatever I had which is pretty standard for what happens when I get one of my twice-a-year colds.

But the real concern were the multiple senior citizens who flew out, some of whom are immunocompromised as well as in the aforementioned demographic.

As of today only one of the four got sick and it indeed was Covid but it appears decent genes and some meds have mostly taken care of the illness.

Still it made for some dicey moments and extended several trips beyond where they were supposed to be.

What To Do & How To Do What

Given all of the fun I have been in insolation for a while now more out of an abundance of caution than anything else.

It created more than a little stress because I never felt particularly ill and there was always concern about how to best help the visitors, especially my mother who didn’t rent a car and was sort of stuck at the hotel.

Fortunately, the grandkids are at an age where they can drive and given they all tested negative were able to spend time with grandma.

Although that helped give me peace of mind there was still a nagging question about what to do and how to best do it.

Wasn’t going to panic but also wanted to be prudent.

Given ages, history and life experience I know that life can turn on a dime and that any time I see them it could be the last time.

When it came to my mom I looked at genetics a bit, had a couple of conversations and talked it out with her.

She is still almost 20 years younger than her both her parents were when they died. Overall she has a pretty good bill of health and her doc didn’t have issue with her traveling on the graduation circuit.

That added some comfort, especially given her attitude. She doesn’t want to miss out on these opportunities because even with good health/genes her age makes it clear there is a clock.

So some of this is/was a calculated risk.

I didn’t hug her goodbye and I was a good 15 feet away when I said “I’ll try to see you later this summer.”

If you ask me my gut feeling on it all I will tell you I feel good about it and that I expect to see her again. She felt fine when she left and fine when she landed so I am going with that.

Won’t say that I haven’t kept my fingers crossed and hoped not to be proven wrong about anything.

Won’t say that it hasn’t been extra stressful for reasons both obvious and less so either.

But I am looking forward to the day when this is just one more funny story.

Especially given the last three weeks included plumbing issues, a car accident and an assortment of other irritants in addition to this last set of nonsense.

Kids asked me why so much has to happen at one time and I told them it is because life doesn’t care.

“You get what you get however you get it and then you just roll with it. Manage it as best you can and try not to let it make you crazy.”

I think it is pretty good advice, I ought to tell it to myself again because there are days…

The History Of A Girl’s Life

May 20, 2022 by Jack Steiner Leave a Comment

Today was the last day of school for a high school senior who calls me father. Ok, that is not the term she uses for me but it is accurate because I am her father.

I started blogging while she was what some would call In Utero and given it won’t be long before her 18th birthday rolls around it occurs to me I really have been doing this for a while.

In many ways this blog in all its aspects (blogger and self-hosted) is the history of a girl’s life. It is not what you would call chapter and verse but it is not supposed to be.

Many of the best and or most interesting stories have been left out because she deserves to build her own digital footprint and because I don’t have ownership of it all anymore.

There are multiple boundaries that I try to be cognizant of because in the world she is growing up in it is not uncommon for people to search for information about others. Some of her friends have found bits and pieces of things and we have had discussions about that.

It is strange sometimes to realize how much of a life she has that I am barely aware of. Makes sense because it was the same when I was her age, but still surreal in a way.

Conversations

The time of her living at home on a full time basis is coming to an end and so I find myself trying to engage in more conversations about multiple topics.

We talked often before this time arrived, but something about it has pushed me to try to cram more in.

Pushed me to reiterate lessons I hope she has learned and information that may not have sunk in because she was younger when she first got it.

I recognize in many ways she is who she is and that if her character isn’t of a certain nature already it is too late.

The good news is I am pleased and proud with and of who she is but it doesn’t mean there is no interest in a gentle push here and there

I shared the Ben Franklin quote above with her and she asked what point I was trying to make.

“Lots of people will try to motivate you to do different things with quotes from famous people. Lots of them won’t ever have given any thought to what the quote means or what context it was originally given in.

Never stop thinking and don’t let people tell you that rights that have been held by all Americans for decades ought to be adjusted just because a minority dislikes them. What we give away cannot aways be taken back with any sort of ease on both large and small scale.”

****

She sat with it for a while and then I told her she could take it solely on a political level or she could see an application on a personal level too.

There might be better quotes and or better ways to drive home the points I want her to take but there isn’t time to get too deep into searching for them and that is ok.

It is surreal to think she is almost on her way out of here, the baby isn’t a baby anymore.

Yesterday she was in preschool and I was so much younger myself. Today we are both far older and tomorrow, well we’ll leave tomorrow where it is as it will come soon enough.