The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for August 2013

569 Reasons Why Mommy Bloggers Are Jealous Of Dad Bloggers

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human

It is a few minutes after 11 PM in Texas and the thermostat says it is about 92 outside on a partially cloudy and moonlit night.

Got a cold Shiner Bock in hand and a thousand words begging to flow from fingertip onto the page and you want to know is the headline another example of linkbait or am I trying to start a fight with mommy bloggers.

Some of you might suggest that doing so is asking for trouble I don’t need and that while it may not be the sort of blog sabotage my friend Geoff discussed it is rife with potential problems.

Writers Write and Bloggers Blog

Writers write and bloggers blog and I am both. I am a writer who got lost and forgot about his love for words until it was restored via blogging.

I am a dad blogger who hasn’t been afraid to ruffle feathers and has asked hard questions about how things work and wondered whether Babble, Blogworld and all sorts of brands spend enough time doing their due diligence, meaning have they taken time to vet the people they work with or is it some sort of nepotistic cabal of collusion.

Ignore that last line, it was stupid but it is my blog and I don’t feel like killing my darlings now because sometimes I just want to write.

And that means that I don’t always play all the reindeer games with the others and that might be part of why I have sometimes missed out on opportunities. But even though I am a cranky curmudgeon there are moments where my ego has been bruised because I didn’t make a list or end up being asked to do something.

Does Any Of This Really Matter?

Does any of this really matter? Probably not.

I blog because I love to write and have enormous satisfaction from writing fiction like you see in this category, from taking time to mention things like the Enola Gay, and of course chronicling the lives of my children.

And let’s not forget that I successfully monetized the blog and in addition to having earned a couple of bucks from doing this I have made many friends and had some experiences I never would have otherwise had.

The Rules For Being Human

I really like the graphic above and have used it in several posts because it makes sense to me. I don’t always like or agree with what is written there, but most of the time I shrug my shoulders because it doesn’t matter if I agree with all of them.

What I like about it is that it is applicable to everything in life. It covers both personal and professional and right now that is big for me because there are more upheavals.

One of the things blogging has helped me with is gaining a better understanding of myself. Posts like this are a reminder to me to roll with the big changes because most of them work out pretty well.

And the reason they work out well is because I make an effort to make them work out.

Doesn’t mean it isn’t a mix of scary and exciting because it is, but it never hurts to have a history to look at.

When Do You Figure It All Out?

My son came home from his Bar Mitzvah tutor the other day and asked me when I figured it all out and I tried not to choke.

I paused for a minute to consider what sort of fatherly wisdom to pass along. I could tell him about blogging and talk about pageviews, unique users, the importance of engagement, demographics and why some people don’t understand what is significant.

Thought about steroids in baseball and considered talking about how it used to be a big deal to his 30 home runs or more in a season and how that changed.

Almost talked about how I enjoyed flying in the pre-911 days when security wasn’t an issue and you could just have fun.

And then I opted to say that when you figure it all out life happens and you realize that much of what you thought you knew is insignificant and that much of what you thought worthless is exceptionally important.

Some of it can be painful to learn, but if you open yourself up there is more joy than anything else.

P.S. I’ll leave the conversation about whether the toilet seat should be left up or down for a different day.

Endless Pools Of Blood

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Pool Lanes

I was there.

I saw what happened.

You might not believe it but that is probably because you don’t want to believe it. Our bodies aren’t supposed to look like that. We don’t bend like that, at least not those of us that are still living.

And the blood, oh my lord, the blood. There were so many puddles of it splattered around the room. I couldn’t decide what was worse the footprints that led away from that indescribable scene or the pool of red that had collected in that one place.

It was like a train wreck or a car accident. I wanted to look away but I couldn’t. Couldn’t stop staring at those things that used to be people.

Couldn’t stop wondering what happened and how. Did it hurt? Did they cry out in pain and or shock? Were they aware of what was happening?

Somewhere someone was crying or maybe sobbing was more like it. I can’t tell you why I wasn’t or how I managed not to throw up. I guess that I was numb and or in shock. At least I hope that is why I felt so much and so little.

They say that when you reach this point it is time to get out. They say that when you feel nothing your best bet is to find someone to talk to but I don’t have that. Truth is neither do they.

That is because we gave away our right to make decisions like that. That is because when we signed up we said we would do whatever was asked of us until such time as we were discharged.

Discharged. Every time I hear that word I laugh. It is such a plain and sterile word that says absolutely nothing and everything.

It is the perfect word for how they view us. We aren’t people to them. We aren’t humans that have blood, sweat and tears. We are just mechanical creatures that offer a bit more than the science fiction robots that use artificial intelligence.

Trust me, I know things. I know tales that I’ll never tell and stories that I’ll never share.

I want to. I really do. If I could get them out I might be able to sleep again but I can’t quite bring myself to walk down those gray halls of memory. I can’t go there in darkness or daylight. It is too much.

Except when I sleep.

Sleep always takes me back to that place and I see the things that I can’t stand to see. I remember what I want to forget. I stand in the places that I never want to see again. And I scream.

Or at least that is what they tell me.

I scream in my sleep.

No one wants to be near me then because they say what comes out of me doesn’t sound quite right. That is their way of trying to make me feel better but I read between the lines.

No one really wants to be around me in general because I am not quite right. Oh I can fool you for a while. I can make you think I am just like everyone else but sooner or later you’ll begin to see or sense things aren’t quite what you thought.

The other docs gave me some pills to help me sleep and said that they wouldn’t let me dream. They don’t work. I still see them. I still hear them.

Alcohol doesn’t work either. Doesn’t matter how much I drink or what ‘cuz there is never silence.

Sometimes I think about my last normal day and wonder if I can ever find a way to go back. I picture it in my mind. I see this enormous canyon stretching out in front of me.

There is no bridge or way to cross it. Too far to jump and impossible to fly to. But somehow I still see everything that happens over there. It is all sunshine and roses. People laughing, children playing- just happy times.

That might be the worst part of it for me. I can see it. I can hear it. I can remember it.

But I can’t get to it.

It all goes back to the beginning.

I was there.

I saw what happened.

*****

Editor’s Note: This is part of Fragments of Fiction. It originally ran here but I decided to run it again for some new readers and to include a picture with it.

Sometimes Life Gets In The Way Of Blogging- Google + Edition

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Ship Garthsnaid, ca 1920s

I don’t know about you but sometimes life gets in the way of blogging. Got a few unexpected changes that cropped up here and it is occupying a lot of the empty space that is located between my ears.

Life has taught me to expect change and to understand that though I always handle whatever comes my way I prefer to take change on in bite size pieces and not the giant chunks that have been given to me.

Those monster pieces lead to all kinds of gagging and choking and that is not a whole lot of fun.

Change Is Constant

My daughter is pretty good about just rolling with the punches but my son doesn’t particularly like change which I suppose is a gift he got from me.

In many ways we’re creatures of habit who feel more comfortable when some of our expectations about where we live, what we eat and what is going on are not turned upside down and inside out.

And that is what has me a bit fershimmeled now, everything is being turned upside down and inside out.

But there is some excitement and joy that comes with it. There is this sense of opportunity and new beginnings that comes with change and I like that.

Change and Blogging

Blogging is a dynamic environment that is always filled with change and I enjoy staying abreast of the new developments here too.

Maybe that is part of why I enjoy tweaking the blog so often and making changes. Sometimes it can be frustrating because there are technical issues that crop up.

The move back to Livefyre has created a few hiccups that I am still working on. I am still missing some older comments and there are a couple of other hurdles to deal with.

But I am really enjoying the addition of Google Plus comments. It is increasing engagement and extending my reach. It is still relatively new but thus far I have virtually no complaints.

If anything the sole concern is that for the moment the notifications about  new comments is kind of rough so I have to make sure I check recent posts.

The Most Frustrating Part Of Blogging

Ultimately when I flip through the pages of the blog and think about what I have learned some things haven’t changed. The Most Frustrating Part Of Blogging for me hasn’t really changed from what I covered in the previous link.

And it all comes back to trying to figure out how to keep life from getting in the way. It is all tied into trying to figure out how if there is a way to make more effective use of my time and where I want to focus my energy.

But I am hopeful and optimistic that some of these changes I mentioned above will provide some clarity and answers. I am not waiting for the click like I was because it happened.

Or maybe I am.

Maybe that was the prelude to what comes next. Maybe it was the introduction to something bigger and this restlessness I feel is because something amazing is about to happen.

I am not entirely sure, but if our attitude about life is tied into how things work out than I feel pretty good because my sense is that the best is yet to come.

What about you? What do you have to say about life, this post or A-Rod? Do you care? Does it matter? Will you celebrate with me when my Dodgers win it all?

Let me know in the comments.

How Does Life Experience Impact Your View of History?

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listen to ‘How Does Life Experience Impact Your View of History?’ on Audioboo

What is The Most Important Thing In Blogging?

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cool2

Saturday afternoon I stood on the sixth floor of what once was the Texas Book Depository in Dallas and looked out the window and thought about what life was like 50 years ago.

Stood there and thought about what it must have been like for my folks to hear that President Kennedy had been shot and figured they must have wondered about the future, but I don’t think they could have imagined the future their kids and grandchildren live in.

Nothing wrong with that, when JFK was assassinated they were a couple of twenty somethings living in two different states who hadn’t even met each other  yet.  And since there were no personal computers, cellphones, iPods and or iPads there is no reason why they would think about something that would one day be called blogging.

What is The Most Important Thing In Blogging?

Elizabeth wrote a recap of her time at BlogHer and I thought some more about blogging. Thought about why I am doing this and what I want from it.

I haven’t spent much time reading the reviews of BlogHer 2013 because they all blur with the others I have read through the years. That is not a knock against any of the writers, more a comment about me and what catches my eye.

People power social media and that is what I see in these reviews. Most of them include chunks of content about the people they met and I think that is cool.

Blogging has added much to my life, given me new friends, led to jobs and provided experiences I wouldn’t have otherwise had.

And it has led me to walk a path I might not have otherwise done.

Writing Is What Is Most Important To Me

Writing is what is most important to me, or more accurately becoming a better writer and taking the steps that need to be taken to live my dreams and not my dream my life.

It is why I changed my focus to spend more time reading and writing than commenting on other blogs. It is why I look back at some old posts to see what I wrote and to try to figure out if I have made the sort of progress I want to make. Those writing exercises are important.

But there is still that need to pay attention to the other components that come along with this.

There is the need to learn more about building a blog, about independent publishing and about ways to build the platform and community.

It is why I play around with the commenting services I use here and why I added Google + Comments. Did I mention that the Google + comments seem to be working and that traffic has increased.

Is there a relationship between that or is it just coincidence? I am not entirely certain yet but I am working on it.

Does It Have To Be Writing Or People?

If I want to become a better writer but still have a need to learn from those who already have some success in my field I need to find a better way to blend what I am doing.

That means I am looking at how I have been spending my time and wondering again if maybe it would be beneficial to work on building the relationships with people who have that success I mentioned.

It means I am trying to figure out how to create a 32 hour day so that I have more time to write and that I am working on writing more fearlessly again.

I am not writing as I once did with the same sort of reckless abandon. It may not be a bad thing, but I have this itchy feeling that says I need to pump up the content here again and I need to develop those relationships.

Doesn’t mean that it won’t be strategic, just that I am noticing things.

Bottom line, if you aren’t asking questions of yourself and looking at how you  spend your time you might be missing some opportunities and I don’t want that to be me.

What do you think? What is the most important thing in blogging?

Not Quite 69 Ways To Drive Traffic To Your Blog

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Greg Tracy - Team Hot Wheels - Green Driver

I don’t know what happened to my Hot Wheels, Legos and quite a few of the toys I loved playing with as a kid but I just know if I still had them I would be an eBay millionaire and I wouldn’t rely upon this blog to pay the bills.

Confession: This blog really doesn’t pay all of my bills but I sure wish it did. Would make my life so much easier.

My Newest Experiment

Those of you who hang out here on a regular basis know I like to experiment with plugins and blog designs to see what provides the best performance and opportunity to build the base and community.

My newest experiment began about ten minutes ago when I activated Google Plus comments. There are several different plugins that you can use to make this happen at your blog.

The one I really want to try out  is called Comments Evolved but there are some technical details on my end that I need to work out before I try that particular one.

In the interim I am very curious to see what sort of impact Google Plus comments have here.

What I Hope For

In a perfect world they’ll help with my SEO efforts and will make it much easier to expand my reach and drive more traffic here which ideally will lead to an expanded readership, buckets of money and a several book deals.

Regardless of what happens I expect to learn a few things through this experience and that is always important and useful to me.

FWIW, I have already found Google Plus to be an excellent source of traffic. It is one of my favorite social media platforms so it made sense to me to try and expand how I use it.

One Other Major Tip to Share

When you are trying to build your blog and increase your readership there is one major tip to share with you. Write for people and engage with them on their blogs and around the various social media platforms.

People power social media. My experience has proven to me there is a direct correlation between how active you are and the response/engagement you receive from others.

Whenever I see a continuous and sustained increase in traffic here I can always associate a significant part of it with the time I spend talking with people around the blogosphere, Twitter, G+ and elsewhere.

My Google Plus Badge

If you want to hang on with me on Google Plus feel free to use the badge on the side of the page.

Hope to see you here and elsewhere real soon.  If you have comments/thoughts/ideas to share please do not hesitate to do so.