The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for February 2014

It is Time To Ban Valentine’s Day

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Happy Valentines Day

In the good old days I would start my Anti Valentine’s Day posts with something like you see below:

Valentine’s Day is a fake holiday whose sole design is to use pain and suffering to guilt people into spending money on foolish cards and foolish gifts.

I say enough is enough. It is long past time for us to push this sad day into the dustbin of history. Ban the day from our lexicon, rise up and be free. Romance should be spontaneous and not forced.

Frak this holiday. So say we all.

And then I would share a link like I Still Hate Valentine’s Day  and if I were feeling saucy I might include A Valentine’s Day Fable. But things have taken a turn around these parts.

I am still not a fan of the day and still advocate a million man march on Hallmark, but The Girl Who Made Me Forget I Hate Valentine’s Day wants me to reconsider.

Her Strange Power Over Me

I am the guy who swims upstream and does my own thing regardless of what everyone else does. I am not part of the Sheeple collective yet when she asks me to concede on this small point, well I usually do.

Blame it on the power that comes with being daddy’s girl and I’ll agree with you. She is and she does have it. Got to give my daughter her due and recognize she is the one girl in my life who can depend upon my feelings never changing.

It makes me happy to make her happy.

Still…

In spite of all that and her request that I be her Valentine I am still hopeful that one day this plague on humanity and scourge of mankind will disappear.

One day we will be wise enough to say we can’t take it any more and the tyranny will end and when it does we’ll celebrate. There will be parties world wide and maybe even a spontaneous Hokey-Pokey.

Just you wait, our time is coming.

Two Things That Are Still Killing Twitter

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Death of Film

Editor’s Note: I first ran this post a few years ago because I didn’t like some of the changes I saw in Twitter. IMO Twitter is a bigger mess now than it was then. Some people still blame Triberr for this and point their fingers at me because it is one of the tools I use.

You can call me an apologist if you want but I am still a fan and find that it is a very effective tool. The worth and value of a tool is usually based upon the skill of the person using it.  For example you could give me Tiger Woods’ golf clubs and ask him to use two of my old rusty clubs and chances are he would beat me every time.

What I try to do with Twitter is find more moments where I can be online and active. The benefit is that my stream isn’t filled with automated tweets. In reality I don’t have the same amount of time as I used to, especially when it seems fewer people are actually tweeting live so I have to work harder to make it work.

Anyway, I think many of my thoughts/ideas from when I first ran this post are still pertinent. Take a look at the post below and let me know if you agree.

I used a nifty service called When Did You Join Twitter to figure out that I signed up on December 30, 2008.

After four years I have seen a number of changes in how I use it as well as how others do. Not all of them are good.

I Hate AutoDms

I don’t have any scientific data to share with you about what sort of impact the AutoDm has and can only tell you that once upon a time I was guilty of using them too.

It seemed like an easy way to acknowledge new followers and to start building a relationship with them but I found them to rarely give me the warm fuzzy feeling that makes me feel like anything but a number.

The AutoDm doesn’t show me that you have taken the time to read my profile or tweets so I haven’t any clue whether you find me interesting or if I am just another number you use to build your following.

I have built real friendships with people I met online and know that there are real people on the other side of the keyboard but those relationships started because of the personal touch.

Twitter is Like a Cocktail Party Or Barbecue

Twitter is like a barbecue or cocktail party. It is a place to meet people and talk. The AutoDm reminds me of the sleazy man/woman who approaches you at a party with only one thing in mind and it is never with your best interests in mind.

It is an immediate turnoff.

I don’t have a problem with Internet marketers, brands or businesses trying to sell things online. All I ask is that you at least pretend to care about more than what is in my wallet.

Problem Number Two- Broadcast Is Not Engagement

The second challenge and one that is probably far more serious is the proliferation of people/brands/businesses that are using Twitter as a broadcast channel and not for engagement.

Twitter is noisy and cluttered because it is filled with Tweets promoting posts, reviews, sales and all sorts of other crap. It wasn’t always like this and I am well aware that I am part of the problem.

That is because Triberr is one of the biggest sources of traffic for my blog and the primary traffic driver for promoting posts through Triberr is Twitter.

If I want people to pump out my posts to their followers I need to reciprocate so it means that I can send out a large number of tweets in a short time.

A Solution

My solution is two fold:

  1. I try to make a point to engage as frequently as possible on Twitter so that my stream is not all links.
  2. I try to make sure the content I share is relevant, interesting and useful to my followers.

It is not a perfect solution but at the moment it does the best job of meeting my needs without completely alienating the community I am working to build.

What About You?

What about you? Do you use Twitter? Do you like it? Do you agree/disagree with me?

How To Get A Rave Review From Bill Peebles

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New Nepean Bridge
I was there and I saw what happened the night the Argento River reversed course and started flowing backwards. It was the same night we christened the Sam Houston Express.

If you ask the locals to tell you about that night and the things that followed you’ll hear all sorts of different stories but most of them won’t be true. They won’t tell you they are lying because you can’t lie when you think you are telling the truth.

But some of us know better because for one reason or another we weren’t affected by that thing, well at least not our memories. Whatever made the Argento River flow backwards didn’t do any sort of harm to our heads, at least none that I can tell.

Heck, it didn’t do much of anything at all to us other than turn us into people who never get sick, don’t age and seem to have lifespans that are ridiculously long.

Look hard at the picture above and you’ll find me and Bill Peebles looking back at you. Chances are you’ll look at the date, 1893 and then make a comment about how Bill and I look an awful lot like our great grandfathers.

It might be factually true to say Bill and I look like our forefathers but the reality is the reason those men look so much like us is because that is us.

I know, it sounds ridiculous.

People might live to be more than a 100 years old but they don’t do so without some significant changes in their physical appearance.

Well I can’t explain exactly how or why things turned out this way but when you have lived as long as we have you learn life is filled with much more of the “I can’t tell you why it happened but it did” than you realize.

Who Is Bill Peebles?

I suppose before I answer the question I should clarify that everything that came before the first subhead is part of ten minutes worth of fiction that I just threw together.

Bill Peebles is a real man but I don’t know him in person.

We met through a dad bloggers group on Facebook. Truth is I can’t tell you much about him. Sure, I can pull bits and pieces from his blog and things he has shared in the group but I think it is up to him to share more with you if he chooses to.

What I can tell you is that he is married, the father of two boys and he plays guitar. I can also tell you he is diligent in reading the posts the fellas share in the group and tat he often leaves a comment about those he has read.

My impression is that he does it because that is who he is. He is a nice guy who likes to let the authors know what he thought about their posts.

He has been doing it long enough that it has turned into a thing in the group. A Bill Peebles comment is worth something, it is meaningful.

I hope he understands the headline for this post is supposed to be playful and not mean or malicious.

Teasing and Friends

It is a timely topic for me, teasing and friends because the stories I am hearing from my son about middle school include a lot of tales of teasing.

The guys he hangs out with are doing a lot of the same crap we used to do when I was their age. Some of it is just silly and fun and some of it isn’t.

Or maybe it is more accurate to say it is not always taken as being silly and fun.

Every now and then I’ll hear a story from my son about how one of the guys did something that upset him. Thus far those are the exception and thus far he has handled everything quite well.

But I am wondering if any of this is going to transition into something less fun and more ugly. I hope it doesn’t but I remember that age and how crazy kids can get.

When I listen to these stories I think back and I remember how a few moments changed for me and well, I hope they don’t for my son.

But he has to figure these things out for himself so unless he tells me about something that sounds dangerous I’ll keep my mouth shut and let him figure out what temperature is comfortable and what isn’t.

Parenting isn’t for the weak.

Have You Ever Lost Something Precious?

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Walking Into The Gates of Hell.
Walking Into The Gates of Hell.

They didn’t say goodbye. There were no screams of terror or exclamations of surprise. They simply disappeared and I can’t tell you how or why.

One moment they were here and then they were gone and now I am…bereft.

I shouldn’t be. It is not the first time this has happened and thought I will do all in my power to see it doesn’t happen again I suspect it will.

Technology will fail me and the words will slip and slide right off of the page.

What Are You Looking For?

That was the name of the post I had started. The words started coming slowly for me but it didn’t take long for me to find my rhythm and I felt good about what I produced…proud.

But somehow it only saved part of my work.

5 Songs

  1. Let It Go- Frozen (Yeah, my daughter sings this daily.)
  2. It Was A Very Good Year- Frank Sinatra
  3. South Side- Moby
  4. Death and Transfiguration- Hancock Soundtrack
  5. The Hustle- Van McCoy

How To Wrestle With Faith Or Sex Doesn’t Always Sell seems appropriate to start this post off for reasons I can’t quite articulate. What I do know is that more than a few of you spent time today looking around this place which always makes me wonder, what ever are you looking for?

I see that you hung out on the About me page and I wonder if you liked what you saw. Did you find post(s) that made you happy or sad? Were you impressed or disappointed?

Am I presenting the right sort of image or should I make a point to revisit the page to update, revise and or adjust things.

Rolling With The Punches

Now I’ll do as I teach my children to do, I’ll roll with the punches but instead of trying to recreate what I lost I’ll go a different direction.

Today I’ll say again my goal is to become a master wordsmith and offer some links to words I have written about writing. You may read them or you may not.

It is your choice.

My goal is to practice and polish my profession so that I reach a place where my skill will be such that when I call upon the words they will answer my call, regardless of time or situation.

Rip Open Your Chest

Every time I write I do my best to rip open my chest and bleed across the words. Some will call that hyperbole and accuse me of unnecessary hysteria but I don’t care.

Write in a way that works for you.

My experience has repeatedly shown me that tears on the page come after you bleed. We may not be face to face but we connect here and if we were face to face it is unlikely I would open up to you as I often do here.

Maybe it is a maturity thing or maybe it is a comfort thing, maybe it is both things.

But I am slow to trust you with what lies beneath the surface.

For The Children

Much of what you see contained within is for my children. These are the words that will offer more insight and explanation into their father.

Perhaps it will be of interest. Maybe one day years after I have gone wherever we go they’ll come to the blog and hear the echoes of dad and remember a father’s love crosses time and space.

And when they are much older and they are talking to their grandchildren and the generations that follow they can use these pages to bring pieces of me to life again and maybe for a short while we’ll be together once more.

The Problem With Niche Blogging

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Trappe de puits

Niche blogging makes me feel a bit crazed which is probably why I write about it:

Blame it on my being someone who hates being fenced in. Lock me up in a prison and I will be the guy who never stops searching for a way to escape because limits and and I are often at odds.

The Problem With Niche Blogging

Ask me to don to my professional hat and I’ll tell you the problem with niche blogging starts with the echo chamber, content shock and the willingness to view blogging as a marathon.

If the blogosphere were real it would be like a huge swap meet or street carnival. There are endless rows of vendors and most of them look the same because they are selling the same thing.

So to get your attention everyone screams at you but that doesn’t work because you either tune them out or go running for shelter. In that real-world description if you were smart you’d find a way to steer the runners to your shop and then give them a reason to hang out.

But we are not talking about a physical world, we are talking about a virtual which means it is even easier for people to escape by clicking elsewhere.

About this time is when people start offering all sorts of suggestions for how to keep people around, improve bounce rates and or convince them to stay.

Hell, it reminds me of the time you begged someone not to break up with you because if they gave you one more chance…

The Marathon Approach

The Marathon Approach means you are the tortoise and not the hare. You recognize that you are more likely to last in blogging by adopting a slow and steady approach.

Most of us don’t have the resources to go full bore, day in and day out.

The challenge with the Marathon Approach is that we don’t all have the resources to last. It takes a commitment and there is no guarantee that you beat the people in front, behind and on the sides.

Newcomers will shoot through the blogosphere and light up the sky. Sometimes you’ll look at them and wonder why people like/love them and you’ll not be able to figure it out.

Disclosure: I like the Marathon Approach because it resembles mine. Ten years of blogging has provided me with some hard-earned benefits and advantages.

It is the sort of approach I try to apply in multiple aspects of life. I may not have as much or more talent than some but I am resourceful, tenacious and willing to do the work.

Sometimes that is all it takes to beat the “more talented.”

Labels and Niche Blogging

I confess I sometimes agonize over this. I am not a huge fan of labels and being pigeonholed.

I am a dad blogger and I was among “the first” whatever the hell that means. But because I haven’t always marketed myself that way I have missed out on a variety of opportunities that I might have otherwise had.

However, because I am more than just a dad blogger I have had other opportunities/benefits that I wouldn’t have otherwise gotten.

So how do you decide which is best?

Hell, I don’t have any hard metrics to use. I can’t tell you which one led to more money or better opportunity.

The only thing I can tell you is that I chose the one that made blogging fun for me and that is what helped me last because if you aren’t having fun then you probably won’t be around for the long haul.

What about you? What do you think?

5 Reasons Why Geniuses & Sex Addicts Read My Blog

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Coffee Addict

This post should be anchored by a shot of a Marc Chagall painting. Several come to mind but you’ll have to accept my apologies for not knowing their names so I cannot share them with you.

What I can tell is they are magical and that if you were to see them you would be transported somewhere else, or at least you would be if I were there to give you a gentle push into that space.

*****

Yesterday I showed my oldest this video about Munich. It always hurts to speak with my children about moments like this and to have to answer questions about terrorism, hate and murder.

In part because I am very hawkish and when they ask me for my solutions I have to tell them about the importance of coming down so hard upon those who would hurt us they don’t dare raise their heads up for fear of being kicked in the teeth.

An imperfect solution for an imperfect world, but when you mess with those I love I am willing to do what it takes to protect them. But it doesn’t mean I don’t think about all of the costs, mental, emotional and physical. Nor does it mean I don’t think about other ways.

There is always hope and the dreamer inside me believes that there is a chance.

*****

We’re moving…again.

It was planned and not unexpected but I am tired of it all.

Call me Jack Reacher because I am doing my best to get rid of my stuff. The less I own and the less I have the easier it is to move. Truth is that there is a certain amount of wanderlust inside and the gypsy that lives with in revels in the chance to have new experiences.

Experiences are a big part of what I seek. I talk with the children about this and try to help them view it all that way because it becomes easier for them.

And I talk to them about next year and remind them that we are taking life a year at a time now, we will be moving again.

The question is when and where.

We’ll look at the best schools and see what works.

 5 Reasons Why Geniuses & Sex Addicts Read My Blog

The blogosphere is a crowded place and it takes a bit of PT Barnum to get readers to our blogs. Sometimes I feel the need to do my part to make sure you come visit.

Headlines like 5 Reasons Why Geniuses & Sex Addicts Read My Blog are effective.

People come and read.

It is very possible that geniuses and sex addicts read my blog, but I truly can’t say for certain because it is not a question I ask in my demographics survey.

But I have a broader target audience than sex addicts and geniuses so I am not as concerned about them as I could be.

Circle back to our comment about headlines and I wonder what happens after people click on the link. When they get to the blog do they stick around to read or do they point, click and surf their way to the next destination.

It feels a bit like moving does to me.