The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Who Are You Close With

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Ten thousand years ago in the time that was and the place that no longer exists some guy told a girl he would be willing to be close with her for a long time, maybe longer.

She said something like forever and a day and they developed a series of responses, comments and jokes ranging from MLBF, to YLC and a dozen others.

Earthquakes, fires and floods destroyed the castle and secret garden and for a long while they wandered alone and apart.

Some said they both met with moments of sincere heartache and unrest because of it and some said that neither really did.

Occasionally they’d come across each other and exchanged a series of moments in which they swore to never let each other go and to never speak again.

In short, it was a typical push/pull of people who couldn’t quite figure out what they were supposed to do and so they fumbled along.

A time came when he sent out a silent question asking her to answer who she really trusted.

“Who are you really close with and do you seriously not miss us.”

He knew what his answer was and sometimes he fought it. Sometimes he focused on all of the negatives and reasons not to let her in but she always found a way back to his heart.

Eventually he decided he wouldn’t try to control his thoughts or feelings about her and would see where it led.

So he looked at the moon and whispered his secret at it, “I miss her being my rock, even if she can be a pain-in-my-ass. What should I do about it?”

The man-in-the-moon just smiled and told him it would work out.

He shook his fist at him and said that is the kind of response I hate. It is a non-answer. “She won’t like it either.”

But the man didn’t respond.


Time Together

He walked under the dark night for a while longer and remembered how she told him she just wanted to spend time with him and smiled.

“That is what I want too. To get real-time for a while and to just be. Can’t know what I know without knowing more. Can’t test my hypothesis, can only hypothesize.

Even she would understand that, but I don’t know if she would admit it.”

He walked a while longer, looked at the sky and said he was certain under the right circumstances she would kiss him.

“I don’t know if that makes a difference or not. The right moment and the right combination of words. Especially because they wouldn’t be a line and she would know they were genuine.”

The moon remained silent but he swore he saw it wink at him. Not in a “taunting” kind of way but one that offered support.

And then he heard Hallelujah start playing and tried to discern if it was with romantic intent or something other than that.

For a moment he swore he could feel her hand grab his bicep and the other intertwine her fingers in his.

Was that a phoenix in the sky or just a comet streaking across the sky?

Probably didn’t matter as both were good and with that he smiled and kept walking.

It Hurts

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Someone asked me to describe what is happening at this moment and I said ‘It hurts.’

They asked for more and I shrugged my shoulders because I was unwilling to let it out. Very few want to hear it and fewer still are capable of helping.

This is one of those moments where there is only one path and that is forward. Until I get through it I have to live with the pain.

Not to be a tough guy but because there are no other options and no one else can take it on.

I would let it go if I could, but that is not an option so for a while I have to gut it out and if it means sometimes I scream or howl, well that is what I will do.

It will pass.

That Was Unexpected

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Life is filled with surprises, not all are good and not all are bad.

The moment when the person you call ‘boss’ comes down on you without provocation and with weak excuses for their bad behavior is both disturbing and unexpected.

Unexpected because there was a moment when you were the greatest in the office and they sung your praises.

And then disturbing in a way that made you have to pop out your AirPods so you could take a phone call.

Which is to say it was so unbelievable you wanted to make sure you heard it with your own ears.

I damn near called that girl afterwards to tell her, but she went silent the other day so I wasn’t sure if she was busy or needed space.

Had I been certain I had to get her counsel I would have reached out immediately but I wasn’t certain and I was angry.

Slightly irked with her because one likes to have one’s air but more pissed off with the situation in general.

Because that call made my eyes bug out a little bit.

Is he nuts?

The answer is damn straight.

Just Breathe

PTSD from past events made my heart pound a little bit as I wondered where this was going and then I decided I am going to control it.

Not really sure how, but the plan is to do just that, somehow control it.

Somehow turn weakness into strength and make like Archimedes and his lever.

I think I know where that lever is and how to use it, but it is going to take some doing and it is going to take some balls.

Going to take some deep breaths to master the moment and then we are going to see what we can do to make this moment be nothing more than a short blip.

And wouldn’t that be quite the trick and worthy of a blog post or two about that moment.

Stay tuned.

A Fix

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Feels like I have got myself in a bit of a fix and I am not entirely sure of what will happen.

Might be ok, might not be.

Kind of disconcerting.

Here goes nothing.

A Story With No End Part II

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Took A Story With No End and came up with a few ideas that I haven’t finished executing yet.

Thought about whether the divorced redneck attorney who thinks he has a shot at SQ would appreciate a cameo and left his dumbass out of it.

Dude probably is sniffing underwear infected with Covid19 while jerking off to a picture of Dear Leader in all his naked Orangeness.

Or maybe he is shoving his fat hands into a bag of Cheetos and leaving orange stains all over his shirts while working on briefs, hell if I know the real story.

What I know is that some of these dopey QAnon conspiracy theory believing motherfuckers are sniffing around where they don’t belong not recognizing the digital footprints they leave behind.

I take my screenshots and prepare my files and don’t bother to tell them I see far more than they recognize, realize or understand.

If you are going to come for me you might find the castle empty and discover I have come for you or is that a Game of Thrones plot.

A Kinder, Gentler Jack

Got a few people asking for a kinder gentler Jack, the dude with two hands wrapped in your hair or maybe the one whose body your legs are wrapped around because you asked for special manhandling.

Even now that still makes SQ smile but I digress.

That is what happens when I get fired up and remember who the fuck I am and what I have accomplished.

I broke the chains, moved heaven and earth and got shackled again only to break free another time.

I think I got hit in the head and I forgot about things but time has passed and memory is returning with it.

So I am running free and seeing the field with a clarity I haven’t had for a bit.

Not going to stop until I have covered the immediate ground in front of me and even then I may keep going for a bit.

Sometimes a man has got to do nothing but be a man and feed his inner nature.

I’ll let you dear reader decide what that means and whether it is good, bad or in between.

A Story With No End

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A long while ago I started writing a collection of stories that are tied into a main story and I am starting to see the potential for new entries.

Starting to think I really need to take the material here and work with it again. There is some really good stuff in it and I have others that I am pleased with that I can incorporate.

Part of what I find interesting is how I can see some stories in my head and know how they will play out.

Might not know all of the details, but enough to work with it and then there is a story with no end. Those have…possibilities.

Got more I could say, but I think today less is more.