The JackB

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'." Groucho Marx

Archives for September 2012

When Father Doesn’t Know Best

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All luck run out
All luck run out (Photo credit: nyoin)

I am beginning to hate Words With Friends. It is because two of my friends have kicked my writer ass up, down and around the block.

It irks me not just because I am competitive but because I have a larger vocabulary than most people do. I never run out of words but apparently I run out of good combinations.

It sucks to be beaten constantly and it is only made worse because there have been multiple times where I lost right at the end of the game.

I HATE that.

Never Give Up, Never Surrender

Forgive me for using a slogan from a forgettable film, but it is apropos for this discussion. I have a grip that would make a gorilla jealous and a will to win that doesn’t let me just walk away from things. When it gets tough, I get going, but not in the opposite direction.

Yet, I keep losing and it makes me scream WTF because I haven’t figured out what I am doing wrong. It is clear that I am, but I am determined to figure it out.

There are bigger problems and more important issues than this, but sometimes it is the little ticky tack ones that make you crazy.

Self Hosted Blogs versus Free

Bill has a post running today that reminded me of the advantages of a self hosted blog and why I made the change.

Free blogs are great but if the powers that be decide you have violated their Terms of Service they can yank your blog and you will lose everything.

You might not know this, but I have a bunch of free blogs that I still use. They all need to be backed up.

  1. Random Thoughts- Do They Have Meaning?
  2. Fragments of Fiction- Version 178
  3. Words Left Unwritten

Each of those is important to me for different reasons and I would be irked if I lost them. So I have taken steps to back them up. Better to be proactive about it.

Children and Hard Questions

My son asked me about the Boy Scouts today and why they got into trouble. It is not easy telling a kid that some people are sick enough to hurt children. It is not easy to try and talk about these things in a way that impresses how serious it is but doesn’t scare them silly.

It might have been easier but last week was our conversation about 9-11. My little mister wants to know why people will fly planes into buildings and if I ever am nervous about flying.

He wants to know what I would do if someone threatened the family. I do my best to reassure him and remind him these things are quite rare, but he presses me on the issue.

I make a point to look him in the eyes and I tell him not to worry because I will do what is necessary. He doesn’t say much other than he feels better. I am still superman for a bit longer.

When Father Doesn’t Know Best

Last week my daughter had some sort of misunderstanding with several of her friends. They are eight years-old so I thought I would have some time before some of the drama hit but I was wrong.

The dark haired beauty shared a ten minute story with me about why she and her friends were upset. She told me about how some of them cried and how she wasn’t sure if they could be friends again.

I listened to her tale and asked if she thought it was a misunderstanding. She blew up and told me that I can’t understand because I am a boy.

So I hugged her and told her I loved her. She said thank you and then told me that I still didn’t understand.

Did I mention that my girl already has mastered the female look of death. One day some boy is going to wither and shrink under that glare, but not me. I may not understand but I am still dad.

Something tells m that this won’t be the last time I don’t understand, but I am ok with that. My daughter is smart, strong and has a good head on her shoulders.

But I would be remiss if I didn’t share that I have never seen anything like this with my son and his friends. Maybe it is because I understand boys. 😉

And that my friends is my entry for Just Write #53.

This Will Not Inspire You

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The Road Not Taken

There is a rhythm to writing and the more you do it the easier it becomes.

Lately life has been getting in the way of my words so I have found few minutes and moments in which to sit down and share these words you read here.

In a perfect world I would be say that the time away has helped me to recharge my batteries but the fact is that this is not so. In some ways I am more distracted and it is harder to focus the way that I want to on these words that I wish to write.

These distractions are part of why I haven’t written my eBook yet and why I haven’t figured out whether I am going to move my newsletter from AWeber to Mailchimp or another email service.

But your buddy Jack isn’t just a daddy blogger who writes about bad blog posts or ways to get back at bad roommates.

I don’t know about you but that is one of my favorite songs. It is one I can relate to and there is a good chance that I might use it for inspiration to write one of my stories.

Music is a never ending source of inspiration for me. If you are among the 17 long time readers you know this. There is always a song playing inside my head and often one playing on the stereo next to me.

If you invite me to your home I will always be interested in seeing what books music you own. There is magic in music and it is the kind of magic that I want my children to experience.

And I suppose it is fair to say that magic is part of why I write and why I am interested in other things that create moments filled with magic.

Three Things I Want To Do To Make More Magic

  1. I want to take some time off to go to culinary school to become a chef.
  2. I want to take photography classes.
  3. I want to be paid to get back into shape.

We’re going to jump on number three because I know that is going to be like an ear worm that some of you can’t get out your head. I almost wrote that I want to have sex for 368.5 days straight but that would send some of you in a different direction than getting paid to get back into shape.

OTOH having sex like that might very well take care of getting back into shape, but let’s not get caught up in that.

Instead let’s focus. I am serious…focus.

A man is allowed to have some dreams and I think it would be very cool for someone to pay for me to get back into shape. That would be my job and it would come with a personal chef and trainer.

Sadly it is not a real likely prospect so I need to make a few adjustments which is part of why going to culinary school would be cool.

English: Culinary Work - School of Hotel Manag...
English: Culinary Work – School of Hotel Management, Vels University (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Most of you don’t know that I like cooking and that it is not unusual to find me at the stove making a meal. I can do more than barbecue and bake, but I am intrigued and interested in the idea of learning how to do much more than I know now.

I am a guy who uses the Braille method of cooking. Most of what I do is by touch and feel. Ok, sight is involved too and we are all grateful for that.

My family likes my cooking as do most people I have cooked for, but that doesn’t mean I can’t learn more or become better. So why not do it.

I see a correlation between writing a story and cooking a meal. I like the idea of creating and they both have that in common.

Photography

I like taking photos and most of mine are alright intermixed with some pretty good, but again it could be better. Not only that these posts and stories that I tell would be so much stronger with the right artwork supporting them.

Not to mention that it ties in with my desire to create and tell stories.

Or maybe what I should be saying is that I see more possibilities that I want to turn into opportunities. Life is short and I am pushing harder than before to make mine into something offers many more magical moments.

I don’t need these things I mentioned to make magic and neither do you. Really all you need to do is open your eyes and be ready for them when they come, but I figure that even though I can make them happen without there is no reason not to try and include them.

I am Focused

It may not seem like it, but I am focused and actively working towards these things. What about you?

 

People Who Matter- Stream of Consciousness Sunday

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My nephews play tackle football and they love it.

I wasn’t allowed to play on the school teams when I was a kid because my dad said I was “young, dumb and stupid.”

He was right, I was. The boy I used to be still lives inside me. At 43 I still play tackle football with the guys in the fraternity. Granted I generally play once a year I still play balls to the wall and without fear because fear is what gets you hurt.

That is what we always said and how my nephews play, fearlessly.

Except my oldest nephew got his bell rung in his last game and ended up with a concussion. That is serious. It concerns me. He is tough as nails, but he is smaller than some of the other boys and size wins. I know because I have been on both sides of the fence.

This post is a stream of consciousness and I am flowing with it. This is how I began blogging and still how I like to do it. We are supposed to write about people who matter to us and who have made a difference.

There are many that I could write about but one comes to mind except I can’t go there today. Can’t tell what I am thinking or why. Won’t say if it is good, bad or sad. Just won’t because I can’t do that today, maybe a different day.

Maybe I’ll write something about them elsewhere or maybe I won’t.

Hope my nephew stops playing because he suffers from the same silly thoughts as me.

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This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post (in the sidebar). .

 

 

Filed Under: SOC

5 Reasons Why I Hate Your “Epic” Content

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Unfair

I’ll give you five reasons why I HATE YOUR EPIC CONTENT:

  1. It is not epic. It is not original, insightful, educational, recyclable or enjoyable. Not to mention that I am irked that people have overused epic and made it meaningless.
  2. You didn’t write your post with a person in mind. It sounds like SEO gobbledy gook and I want to tear my hair out and gouge my eyeball with a fork.
  3. Your call to action is to sign up for a newsletter that is going to try to sell me more useless nonsense. I don’t have time for this.
  4. There is no single way to do this right. Stop telling me that you have the sole key to social media success because you don’t and in six months you’ll be gone.
  5. You sell fear. You prey upon insecurity and worry. You are an emotional vampire and not the sort I want sucking on me.

Social Media Is About People

Technically I could have shortened that rant. It didn’t have to be a list of five line items. It would have been just as easy to make it a paragraph and to qualify that I am typing slow for some people but that is not how I roll.

The blogosphere has gotten to be exceptionally noisy and that has made people fight even harder to find ways to be heard. The thing is that many aren’t thinking about what they are doing or why. They are just out there pounding on their keyboards and screaming into cyberspace silly little slogans that might as well be “LOOK AT ME!”

You don’t have to do that. You don’t have to try to make every post a clone of those that are successful or work hard to try to be different. It is a big world and there is room for multiple voices and it is ok to say the same thing as everyone else as long as you say it in your voice and use your words.

Honda Versus Toyota

There is a reason why there are multiple brands successfully occupying the same space. Look at the auto companies and try to tell me what the material differences are between Honda Accords and Toyota Camrys. If you are comparing equivalent models the cars are quite similar.

If you write like a person and for people you will find your tribe. You will find people that prefer your voice and your way of talking/speaking/explaining and they will hang with you. If you treat them like people you will build a community and gain trust/loyalty.

What Are Your Goals?

What are your goals? Why are you here? What are you doing and what do you hope to achieve?

It is clear to me that some of you don’t have a clue and are just fumbling around. That is not necessarily a bad thing, especially if you run a personal blog and don’t care what people think. But if you are business blogger, well some of you are hurting your business.

But hey, what do I know I am just a dad blogger with a pen.

It Is Not The Thought That Counts

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European bull in thought
European bull in thought (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t know about you but I am my own worst enemy and my biggest critic. I mention this because today I heard someone say it is the thought that counts and I rolled my eyes.

It wasn’t because I was upset with them but because I am irked with myself. I have a dozen different ideas that are banging around inside my head but I have only taken action on a few of them.

Been thinking about whether this is an acceptable place to be and I keep coming up with snake eyes.

It is not acceptable.

More action is required and less time wondering, waiting and researching. That is not to say that I am the sole reason for the lack of progress in some areas because that is not true either.

Sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes shit happens and you stop chasing the dream of becoming the world’s greatest dad blogger as declared by Babble and three editors.

Got these little people who live with me who need attention. Little people who want to ride bikes, need help with their homework and want to talk about why people would fly planes into buildings.

Truth is they are probably my favorite excuses to set aside work and ignore the projects that I want to be playing with. Time moves ever so quickly and soon they won’t have the same interest and time so I don’t want to miss out now.

I Don’t Want To Say

I don’t want to reach a place where we realize that we haven’t spent enough time together and I tell them that I meant to do it. My children aren’t going to hear me say it is the thought that counts because that is just not acceptable.

This is the beginning of the homestretch for 2012 and I don’t want to miss out on an opportunity to make one last push. I feel the clock tick tocking the moments away like I have never felt it before and it is making me a little bit crazier than normal.

Can’t help but think that when I was a kid if I would have understood how fast time moves I wouldn’t have wasted a moment. I think that is what is driving me right now, the feeling that I am not being productive in the areas I want to be.

That is not to say that I am not getting things done because I am, but it is not enough. It is just not enough.

A Silly Confession

Some people say that when you get older you begin to mellow out but I am beginning to feel like I skipped that lesson. I could swear I am becoming more competitive than I ever was and I don’t totally understand it.

I never liked losing much but lately I really hate it. So I find myself wanting to go full bore in everything and that just doesn’t make sense. Really, in the grand scheme of life what difference does it make if I win or lose at Scrabble or pick up basketball.

It really doesn’t. There are no medals or awards to be had and though I understand that my reaction sometimes surprises me. I just hate losing, especially when I feel like I could have beaten them if I had just pushed a little bit harder.

scrabble board game full 100 tile set
scrabble board game full 100 tile set (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Maybe this drive to push myself harder comes from feeling a bit like I have gotten sucker punched in a few areas. Maybe it is because some of the reasons why I haven’t been as productive as I would like are things that were outside of my control.

That could be it, control that is. Maybe this is just me pushing to take control of the areas that I know I can run.

Ultimately I am not going to spend much time wasting time wondering why I feel this way. That is because my gut says the way to handle this is to just get shit done. Work around the roadblocks and challenges and make things happen.

As part of that process I might do something that I don’t normally do: make a list.

I am not a list maker. I am not the guy who makes list of successes but maybe I need to review it. Maybe I should look. Certainly can’t hurt.

Anyhoo, it is time to catch some shut eye. Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Introspection

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It is the week before Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year and introspection is the name of the game.

I am seated at my the new old computer, it is an iMac I inherited and I am quickly becoming enamored with how this sucker works and beginning to think that maybe it is time to be assimilated into the collective.

Don’t have the cash to buy a new computer, but when I do I’ll probably buy a Mac. I like what I see and there is something beautiful about using a 21″ monitor and not relying upon my old laptop. My eyes are still good, had Lasik almost 12 years ago but it doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate not having to work as hard.

Speaking of work I am listening to Gonna Fly Now and thinking about how this is so very appropriate for me. It is the perfect song for a guy who is working to turn things around and get back in shape. Perfect song for reminding myself that hard work is what is required to change my body and change a number of other things that are going on now.

But it is sometimes hard to write with this playing because the little boy that lives inside me has to get up and shadow box and then pound out a set of push ups. When I lived in my old house I would go out to the garage and play this while I was working on my heavy bag.

Some days I go run up the stairs and pretend. I am not in Philadelphia but it doesn’t matter. I know that most guys who are of a certain age and probably a bunch of women hear this song and respond in similar fashion.

Same story comes when I listen to Eye Of The Tiger. I suppose it is worth adding that if I pass by any of the Rocky movies on the old boob tube I have to stop and watch part of them. Can’t help it, I love it and I love watching Rocky overcome the odds to win.

What lies beneath the mist…

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

People still want to know what kind of blogger I consider myself to be. They ask if I am a dad blogger or a business blogger. I am just a writer who is a blogger. I am a father and my children are an enormous part of my life.

How can I not be influenced by what they do and what I try to do for them. How can I not think about them when I write. If a writer is influenced by the life he/she lived and the dreams they have then it would be impossible for me not to include parts and pieces of them in this.

But every now and then I take time to think about it all and to look at what the stats show to be my most popular posts. I stop to read them and try to figure out if they are what I consider to be important and or well written or if they managed to obtain that title in a different way.

  1. The Cure For Insomnia
  2. A Letter To My Children-2011
  3. The Best Cover Letter….Ever
  4. One Slightly Used Pump For Sale
  5. Why Steve Jobs Isn’t Important Now
  6. Some Things I’ll Teach My Children (Updated)
  7. A Letter To My Children-2012
  8. 1 Foolproof Way To Become a Better Writer
  9. Mean Girls Come From Mean Moms
  10. A Letter To The Universe
  11. Why Your Post Sucks and Everyone Hates Your Blog
  12. Do Things Happen For A Reason?
  13. What Happens To Your Facebook Account When You Die
  14. 666 Devilish Ways To Become A Social Media Superstar
  15. Dealing With Divorce
  16. 1 Foolproof Way To Become a Better Writer
  17. Bloggers Are Narcissists
  18. The Song Of My Heart Makes My Soul Sing
  19. The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants

I look at those posts and see a few stand outs. I look at them and wonder if they are worthy of inclusion or promotion.

Some of that is colored by the knowledge that tomorrow is 9-11 and like so many others it is a day that stands apart. No different from December 7th it is another day that shall live in infamy except I lived through this one and watched it changed the world and the lives of millions, if not billions.

And then it all circles back to my thinking about what sort of life I want for my children and the questions I ask about how to make it happen. In between it all I sit and wonder about how I got to be where I am at and just shake my head.

Life is nothing but interesting.